How do you make sure there's enough of you to go around?

[Misfitless]

Am I the only one who feels guilty that my children don't get enough of my attention, or does this just come with larger families as standard?

My others are DS 5.6 years, DD 3.5 years and DD 13 months.

Staggered bedtimes for DS1 and DD2 aren't really an option tbh. Luckily DS is an early riser like me so we often have a little quality time first thing in the morning.

It's DD1 and DD3 who I feel really miss out sometimes - I'm often too tired to be any use to anyone by the time the 3 youngest DCs are in bed, and when DD3 is in nursery, I feel that I have to race around the house like a lunatic getting as much housework done as possible, so maybe DD3 misses out.

I'd be interested to hear from anyone who came from large families - did you ever feel that you missed out on mum an/or dad time?

[Misfitless]

Sorry - didn't preview and accidentally cut out the bit that said my DD1 is 14 years old.

[Misfitless]

Made a right mess of that reading it back..meant when DD2 is in nursery I feel that DD3 misses out

[letsgetloud]

Yes, I feel mine miss out on me time.

By the evening I am too exhausted to be of much use to anyone as well.

Mine are dd1 8, dd2 5, dd3 3 and ds 8 months.

Dd2 and dd3 go to bed the same time between 7.30pm and 8pm. They get to choose a story each and sit there whilst I read the two stories.

Dd1 goes to bed at 9pm (trying to get her to bed earlier, not working). By that point at night I am not fit for anything. So, don't read her any stories just go up and kiss her good night.

Baby goest at 7pm but has cried solidly from 4.30pm as wants extra nap that I won't allow him.

Trying to do kids homework, dinner, baths etc. with baby crying is just too much. I feel bad I can't sit with baby on my knee to stop the crying, feel bad that I am too stressed to do homework properly with other two daughters.

Before 4pm in the day I try to console myself with the fact that they do have each other to play with, and seem happy enough most of the time.

I felt so bad about not having any 121 time with my two eldest girls that for a while on a saturday, I would take one of the girls out for a couple of hours and then the next saturday take the other one out. That policy seems to have went out the window.Though the girls loved having this time with me just for themselves.

Anyhow hope you can work something out. I just hope that once my son becomes happier in the evenings we can sort it all out a bit more.

Thoguh I do think that when I just had the two children and then the three children I still felt guilty about things.

I know no matter what I do I will feel guilty. I just have to accept that I am a "good enough" parent and I am giving them all I can at the moment.

[Misfitless]

Thanks letsgetloud.
That 4:30pm thing sounds very familiar - my 13 month is usually very upset around this time too. And you're right - I was talking to a mum of 2 DCs last night and she said she felt guilty because she never gets 121 with her DC1.

[Rilith]

Mine are 12, 9, 5, 3 & 19 months (PG again with no6)

The 2 older ones (both boys) go up at 8 and read for 30 mins. They usually sit on my bed with me cus I go up for a read then too, just for 30 mins.

The 3 lil ones all go bed between 6 & 7. They are still at the nice age where a cuddle and a book on the settee is the highlight of their day :p

I dont feel guilty as such, I am just thankful that I work from home & DH is a stay at home dad so that there is always someone around for them should they need us.

We have a family motto "There is always time for a cuddle" and we do make sure we stop what we are doing if any of the kids want a cuddle (or each other too ;) )

[Misfitless]

Wow Rilith - please can I pinch your family motto and claim it as my own? I like that. I'll take inspiration from you and stop beating myself up, I think.

[Rilith]

LOL It does work well :p

And it is the little things that they remember, the 2 bigger ones now say it to the lil ones. We are quite a cuddley family