Irrational feelings rearing their ugly heads

[Mungobungo]

Hey all.

DH and I have been trying for a long time (10 years), 2 rounds of IVF and a miscarriage later and I'd started to feel like I was moving into a better place where the grief, pain and jealousy had subsided. I was feeling ok with life and ok with the idea that we may not ever get pregnant. Or so I thought.

Last year I had a blip when next door neighbour gave birth. Hearing the baby crying through the (paper thin) walls hurt like hell, but I moved through it and had started to feel ok again. Relatives and good friends have had babies since and I've felt happy for them and had no jealousy or pain.

Tonight I found out (through Facebook stalking after seeing a suspiciously rounded belly) that new NDN on the other side is pregnant and I'm suddenly met with an irrational urge to sell up and move. I don't want to have to listen to another newborn through the walls.

I know that this is ridiculous. I know that moving isn't not an option as we're lacking a deposit for starters, but I suddenly feel that I don't want to be stuck here in between two happy families, hearing every cry, coo, baby playing etc.

Can someone please tell me how the hell I can get a grip?

[Gardencentregroupie]

Oh OP you don't need to get a grip. You are grieving for the baby you lost and the life you have been cruelly denied. Go easy on yourself.

[Mrscrabtree]

What a horrible situation Mungo. I don't really know what to say other than it is crap and how you're feeling is completely understandable. You sound incredibly resilient but maybe you can just allow yourself to wallow in feeling awful for a bit.

Maybe book a lovely holiday for around the time the baby is due so you can get away briefly? Sending hugs your way x