Hi everyone, I have NC for this post, although I think this is the first thread I have ever created on MN. I think I'm just looking for some support from those that get it because no one in real life really does.
Recently DP and I were told that our best chance to conceive is with ICSI. He has 50% antibodies and I have a high FSH. I haven't had the AMH test yet so don't know the full extent of how low my reserve is. The consultant was very blunt about it all and it felt like he wanted to make a decision there and then about whether to go ahead with ICSI. It will cost £4800 as I have a child from a previous relationship. If we moved five miles and over the county border it would be free. I sat in the office in tears with the consultant demanding we decide whether to have the AMH immediately because he needed to know.
It feels like ICSI has been rammed down our throat so the hospital gets the money. Even the nurse (who was sent in to speak to us because I was in such a state) said it was our only chance and surely we must be able to get the money. The fact of the matter is that we would have to borrow it and then face having debt to pay while I'm on mat leave which will put a huge strain on our finances.
My theory was that if we could up DPs sperm count (although it was very good at 37mil) then that would improve our chances. I've bought him Wellman and asked him (many, many times over the last year) to cut back on his drinking. He doesn't drink loads and loads, but over the course of last week I totted up his units and it was 28 (it's normally 30-40), which he has already been told is too high by the fertility nurse and it should be 3-4. He still won't cut back.
I'm stuck because part of me wants to say that I am not putting myself through anymore testing or even considering ICSI until he shows that he will make an effort too. Thus far he's done nothing. I lost two stone last year, changed my entire lifestyle and diet, starting doing opks, temping, put myself through Hell every month with my hormones (they severely affect a physical disability I have), and he won't even cut back on the booze for a few months. I just want to go back on the pill and forget it all. The stress of it is really affecting me and today I'm on the verge of having a panic attack or just crying every two minutes. How the heck do we move past this? Like a typical bloke he's just burying his head in the sand and won't discuss it. Every time I mention something fertility related I just get silence.
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Infertility
Antisperm antibodies and high FSH
7 replies
delilahbucket · 18/07/2016 09:48
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