Career vs ttc

[Readyforthefuture]

This may sound like a bit of a selfish one, but I wanted to know if anyone else has wrestled with career decisions on their ttc journey?

I've always been a career girl, my work is important to me and I've invested myself fully into it. However that has stopped me wanting my own slice of domestic bliss with a Little one in my world beyond the office. But 3 years into ttc, and with fertility treatments looming just ahead of me I feel torn between development opportunities at work and sitting these chances out to focus on ttc. Flexibility in my current job for attending appointments, no pressure of learning a new job etc are making me lean towards sitting it out, but it does feel strange, especially given their are no guarantees in ttc!

Is this it, do you have to show the universe your totally committed to ttc to be deserving of a bfp? Does anyone else worry about these things?

[Parietal]

depends on the work hours etc. you do need to be able to make the appointments for IVF, but I found it very helpful to have work to focus on too. sitting at home just thinking about fertility would have made me very stressed & miserable. so I did as much work as I could at the same time. I even flew off to another country the day after my egg transfer (the books said lie at home on your back for 2 days). And it worked.

[Phineyj]

I know what you mean, but given that it took me 6 years and a couple of rounds of IVF, I was glad that I went ahead and changed career as I had wanted to (it involved quite a lot of retraining) as it meant I was in a better position career-wise and financially once DD finally arrived. I wouldn't put anything on hold, other than taking a promotion that would make it difficult to get to fertility appointments, for instance. Even then, I managed to do IVF in another country while employed full time as a teacher (school holidays v useful) without telling my work - it was stressful but it can be done. I really agree with the previous poster that it's better to be busy than sitting around worrying if the universe has it in for you (it doesn't).

[Darcourse]

I know how you feel OP, but if it helps to know I went for a significant promotion when undergoing IVF. I was petrified that accepting the offer made to me would 'show the universe' that I wasn't deserving of a BFP, but 'the universe' had other ideas, as I got the BFP between interview and starting the new job, and had to tell new boss I was pregnant before I had even started. He was great about it though and very supportive.

This was all within the same organisation, which is pretty supportive of infertility and pregnancy issues. I don't think I'd have looked outside though and gone somewhere that I didn't know how well supported I'd be.

Good luck

[mrschatty]

Hi- k had a very exciting management job with a lot of extra responsibility and training opportunities all over the place - but it drove me crazy. Long hours. Constant pressure always running around not eating breakfast no lunch breaks. After 15m ttc I decided enough was enough. Left it all behind and started a new steady (but enjoyable) role in a new office.
I was lucky DH could continue to support us with my huge pay cut and he said its like being married to the old me - calmer more relaxed and fun to be around. Now in m19ttc and staring investigations and I feel in the right place to focus on this now.

The choice is yours love x

[Readyforthefuture]

Thanks everyone. I think I know in my heart what to do. Today is the closing date on this internal job which most people will be expecting me to apply for, so I think I'm going to sit put. My existing role is already an international management role with tons of pressure, but I've found a way to make time for the scan appointments and create balance. I totally agree with what some of you say about keeping busy, the extra money and challenge of an even more senior role just seems too much to commit to right now.

[BlueMoonRoses]

If you've got balance and can manage your time, then don't take on any stress you don't need. Sounds like you're doing the right thing. Stress is enemy of ttc as I'm sure you know. Good luck.