Feeling so low

[Jelliebabe2]

I've just completed ivf round one and had a very early miscarriage the weekend before Easter. I just get to feeing like I'm picking myself up a bit and this evening I've swung right back down again and have taken myself off to bed to have a good cry. I was set off by a pregnancy announcement complete with scan pic on smugbook. I've got my follow up appointment next week but I just can't see that it's ever going to work.

I keep thinking that perhaps that was our chance and that's it.... Then I'm up again and I'm okay for a couple of days, how long does it takes to feel a bit normal again? I am looking to cycle again as soon as possible.

[roastednut]

Sorry to hear that, same thing happened to me and it's rough. Hate the scan pics too as it reminds me of my early scan which was first we found out something was wrong. Currently doing cycle no 2 self funded this time.

You'll feel better soon I promise but it's tough going , you have my sympathy.

[Happilymarried155]

Hi,
I totally understand how you feel too. Monday would be due date after fertility treatment but we miscarried at ten weeks. It's so tough. No one can say anything that will make you feel better or really comfort. But you should know that things do get easier, it's hard but over time the pain gets easier. It wasn't your only chance and there will be another baby.

It's early days and you need to give yourself time to grieve, it's all the more painful when you have been through fertility treatment and then suffered a miscarriage. It's just so unfair. Please be kind to yourself xxx

[ladybunnikins]

Jellie I had the same after my first cycle in Oct/Nov. I was devastated and it took a few weeks to get over the initial darkness, I used to cry in the car on my commute when I thought of those initial few days of happiness. I had a counselling session at the clinic that helped, they told me that a failed IVF cycle is similar on the grief scale to a stillbirth so it's understandable to be feeling awful.
I felt much better when I started my second cycle (currently in 2ww), I think they like you to have at least a 3 month gap between fresh cycles to allow your hormones/ovaries time to settle. There will be certain times that are tough e.g. when you would have been 12 weeks and telling people. I blocked everyone on FB who was pregnant or might announce a pregnancy, my newsfeed is much less cluttered! Take care of yourself.

[NoCupcakesOrCocktails]

Jellie I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. It's extra cruel after having fertility treatment. I had my first IVF cycle last summer and also had an early miscarriage. I was devastated for a few weeks. I gradually started to feel better but I still had low periods on and off for a good few months. My due date was at the start of March and I felt very anxious and low in the build up. I have felt better these past few weeks now the due date has passed.

I had counselling through the clinic afterwards for a few months. I only went for my DH as he was really worried about me. Surprisingly it really helped as although I had some good supportive friends it's not an easy subject to talk about. I was able to talk for hours about my loss and really grieve without feeling I was boring/upsetting people. I would really recommend giving it a go.

Most importantly don't beat yourself up for feeling this way. It's ok to be upset about other peoples pregnancies. Be kind to yourself, unsubscribe to them on Facebook and don't force yourself into social situations if you can't face it. Try to keep busy and plan stuff to do that you enjoy like days out/holidays

[naty1]

Do you have frosties?
For me it is having to do another full cycle.
I have pcos and hypothyroid so high chance of miscarriage if i do get pg from next cycle

[Jelliebabe2]

Thanks guys, I may try the counseling route as I now feel like people are expecting me to get over it a bit and don't want to talk about it, or they just don't know and I don't really want to bring it up.