Run out of tears. Positive stories & UnMN hug DESPERATELY needed please

(107 Posts)
ilikecooking Sat 30-Mar-13 06:44:44

Does anyone have a positive story to share with me please?

Battled with & overcome eating disorder of 32 years to be fit enough to have a happy healthy pregnancy which on its own took all my strength, willpower & every ounce of emotion out of me.

I've left it so late that the ultrasound for IVF egg collection has showed I only have one follicle. As if that isn't bad enough, it's so small that they think it doesn't contain any eggs.

I'm so stupid. If I'd have dealt with the eating disorder sooner rather than bury it I would have been ok. Previous tests from a decade showed that.

Does anyone have any experience of conceiving via egg donation? Or do you have any positive stories about conception from only one follicle?

Or even if you have a spare unMN hug going. Every time I think I've run out of tears, the waterfalls start again.

Hope you are having a happy Easter with lots of good eggs.xx

Incapinka Sat 30-Mar-13 06:47:33

Have no experience with this but didn't want to read and run. Big hugs and fingers crossed for some positive news.

MrsFrin Sat 30-Mar-13 06:48:26

No direct experience but have a big Easter hug & I'm sure someone will be along soon with some more practical reassurance xx

TiredFeet Sat 30-Mar-13 06:50:08

Hi, just wanted to send a hug, I know how much strength it takes to battle an eating disorder and I think you are amazing for doing so. I hope people will be along with positive stories for you soon

Andcake Sat 30-Mar-13 09:43:59

Hugs. Poor you but just for your general health well done for overcoming the eating disorder.
I have no experience of conception via ivf with one follicle but I do of natural conception with a low ovarian reserve. I was told not to pursue ivf as I would probably only get one egg. My afc if that means anything to you was 4-5. But I kept saying to myself that all I needed was one healthy egg naturally and kept myself healthy- no booze etc lots of supplements I researched like zinc, b complex, fish oil etc after 2 mc I had a third pregnancy which gave me my ds.

I always had donor eggs in my mind (as early I was told that was my only option) on we researched it and contacted clinic in Spain where it was more affordable. I set myself an age when I would go for that option.

I was vvvvv lucky to get ds.

SweetieTime Sat 30-Mar-13 22:57:09

Congratulations for overcoming your eating disorder. Try not to beat yourself up, you have already come such a long way and hindsight is a wonderful thing.

I had only a single folicle when attempting IVF last September. I only got a single egg on max dose stimulation. This did fertilise but unfortunately didnt go on to establish pregnancy. Since then i paid for my AMH measuring, result was 0.0. So we faced facts and decided to go down the egg donor route.

I am currently taking the meds to grow my womb lining ready for embryo transfer using donated eggs in the next few weeks. It is very exciting and nerve wracking in equal measures.

If you would like more info just pm me. Good luck and hugs.

Queenofknickers Sat 30-Mar-13 23:03:20

Big big big hugs to you - you have come SO far already xxxx

Good news stories
1. My DH and I had 3years of unsuccessful fertility treatment (poor ovulation, no endometrium, you name it) and went on to have 2 DSs within 18 months naturally and completely randomly.

2. My 43 yr old (sort of friend) is currently 22 weeks with twins conceived using donor eggs and all is well.

Even more big hugs - you deserve them. Be kind to yourself xxxx

Well done for overcoming your eating disorder smile.

The health and strength from that will be needed when you are pregnant and have a child.

I know of a 45 year old woman who had her son by egg donation; he is now 9 and she is a wonderful parent to him.

V best of luck to you x.

ilikecooking Sun 31-Mar-13 21:47:41

A MASSIVE Thankyou to you for holding my hand when. Needed it & all your supportive words.

Trying to look on the bright side, there are a lot of benefits to using an egg donor as opposed to using mine. I'm feeling a lot calmer and not so emotional.

Thankyou x

TWinklyLittleStar Sun 31-Mar-13 21:51:14

Hi, more hugs, and to let you know that tomorrow I'm visiting a friend whose 9 month old twins were conceived with donated eggs. Her second cycle of IVF was successful, and as she used a known donor who also 'gifted' some, I know another recipient of the eggs got pregnant off her first cycle.

TheEasterQODdy Sun 31-Mar-13 21:55:52

I have a dd thru straight surrogacy ... Pretty much like egg donation except the surrogate did the provision and the baking :D

Makes not one jot of difference.

She is my dd

fijamez Sun 31-Mar-13 21:59:14

please dont lose hope - i had 2.5 follies ( they thought 1 was a cyst on scans) and nearly cancelled collection/cycle all together but as I had already had 6 unsuccessful IUI I pleaded and they went ahead - collected 2 eggs - 1 fertilised

That egg is 3 next month - you only need 1 egg then its a level playing field with everyone else

as others have said there are other options - however your family finds you - all the very best

TiredFeet Sun 31-Mar-13 22:04:19

Glad to see the positive stories on here for you smile I hope they give you lots of hope and encouragement

ilikecooking Mon 01-Apr-13 10:26:39

Update:

Scan & bloods today have shown the one follicle has just one egg in it but that it is the size we need it to be.

They will try to retrieve but aren't hopeful so this is Wednesdays obstacle, then of course the one after that is to hope that it fertilises.

The hospital don't have any eggs to offer me & the waiting list is 18 mths, so the only option would be to have an already-fertilised embryo put into me.

Either way & regardless as to what the next few weeks hold for us, I am calmer & a lot more settled with the thanks to the support, positivity & best wishes from MNers, friends & family.

Emotionally I know my husband & I will bond & love it as our own....as would the grandparents & everyone else involved in the new life. Lots of chatting & discussion going on!

It is so nice to hear from you with your stories. Thankyou for building up my strength, confidence & faith.

Andcake Mon 01-Apr-13 10:45:50

Not sure if this is an option for you but I have heard of people converting to iui with one egg. I'm sure I've read of people doing it and being successful here on this US board www.network54.com/Forum/209394/
Also have you read up on dhea I didn't have any of my natural conceptions without it. Even if you take it and try naturally whilst sorting out your donor cycle you might get lucky.
I also explored adoption. Some days just looking at adoption sites I would fall in love with some of the children and know I could be their mum. It's still an option for me to complete my family.

drjohnsonscat Mon 01-Apr-13 10:51:51

Ilikecooking, even with all the fertility drugs on assisted IUI I only ever got one small follicle. But one is all you need as everyone says. That follicle is now three and his sister is now six.

I know IVF is a huge thing to go through and it's disappointing not to respond to the drugs more but good luck with this round. If no luck you sound ready to move to the next step. My DCs are both donor sperm (my eggs) but I know lots who've done donor eggs as well and everyone is happy. One friend contemplating it again after having her first DC 5 yrs ago. I think with the fertility escalator (you step on thinking you want to do everything naturally then you ramp up the intervention the longer you wait and by the end you are willing to accept everything on offer) is in a way quite helpful because it tests your limits and you end up knowing what you really want. It sounds as though you are willing to consider DE and need to give yourself permission to go there.

If you do go that route the Donor Conception Network is v helpful and supportive and full of lovely, happy donor families.

Good luck and I completely understand about the tears but if you are prepared to go around the long way you will get there x

sandiy Mon 01-Apr-13 10:58:40

Follicles are not everything I had loads and loads on both ovarys and all but five were EMPTY so one good one is really all you need. Big hugs to you xx

SweetieTime Mon 01-Apr-13 12:20:43

Ilikecooking I really hope this cycle is successful for you I really do, as the others say it only takes one egg.

Also investigate different clinics as mine has no waiting list for donated eggs. They have more donors than recipients, I was shocked how quickly we were matched.

meyersfan Thu 04-Apr-13 12:10:57

A bit of hope: I had only one follicle detected, then had a follow up AMH result of 0.07. I was told IVF was not an option - I know I could have pushed for IVF route but it wasn't the right route for me and DH. I conceived naturally twice since that test result - first ended in mc but second, so far so good and counting down the weeks to meet my little one.

SweetieTime Thu 04-Apr-13 20:05:27

Meyersfan can I ask what age you are? This sounds very similar to me, I was 38 when given a similar diagnosis and results. I have gone straight down the egg donor route but have found it difficult to accept that I could be completely infertile at my age while still having normal regular cycles. I just wonder if we had continued to TTC we would have got there on our own.

EuroShaggleton Fri 05-Apr-13 13:45:57

OP, I hope you are doing ok.

I did natural IVF as the drugs don't agree with me, so I was only ever going to have one follie and one egg. They got my egg, it fertilised and implanted and I got my BFP.

I did go on to miscarry at 8 weeks, but I am putting that down to "one of those things" and will have another round of natural IVF as soon as the clinic will let me.

Remember - IOTO (it only takes one).

ilikecooking Fri 05-Apr-13 14:38:51

Update:

I did spend a long time writing personal replies here to each and every one of you but the wonder of MN decided it would lose my many words for me as I pressed 'post'. Charming!

I am unable to conceive naturally as my husband has azoospermia. I didn't expect such a large number of hugs and positive stories and to be honest am a little blown away by all the support and care you've shown me. Thankyou so much.

Well, it's been an incredibly rock week. The retrieval of that one egg was successful and we were advised it may not survive that process, but it did. It successfully fertilised and I've had a day 2 transfer. The doc said that as this was my only chance they want it back in its natural environment ASAP.

It has gone to 6 cells in 48 hours which I was pleasantly surprised by. I shed a tear as the cells were put in me and I've told them the next time I see them I want it to be at the 12week scan.....and not before.

I know it's down to nature and there's nothing else I can do except stay positive but partly expect the worst. I can't get excited yet, can I?

meyersfan Fri 05-Apr-13 15:15:05

ilikecooking - that is wonderful news, will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Sweetie - I think I had just turned 39 when I had that diagnosis. Regular cycles (although a bit long) - I went down the acupuncture route, which helped me not just physically but mentally. One of the hardest things for me to deal with this ttc lark is the uncertainty - I think had I been categorically told 'this will never happen' I could have tried to move on. Specialists told me it wouldn't happen, my GP told me to get on with life and it could surprise me (he put it much better than that, and he was right!) I also have one DC (took 18 months to conceive), I would undoubtedly have taken a different path if I was trying for my first. I hope the egg donation works out for you - at the end of the day when you are holding your precious baby, how you got to that place will pale into insignifance.

SweetieTime Fri 05-Apr-13 19:52:49

ilikecooking best wishes for you over the next few week, hope it all goes well

meyersfan thanks for that info, all sounds very familiar. We are just taking things a step at a time so will see how we get on with DE before planning too far ahead. We never know how things will end up. All the best for the rest of your pregnancy.

rabbitonthemoon Sat 06-Apr-13 16:58:25

ilikecooking only just read this thread and just wanted to wish you all the best over this tww. I too have spent years conquering an eating disorder with success, it is an incredibly difficult journey so hugee unmn hug to you for that, well done one thousand times. It is a bag of shite to then be faced with another crappy journey, I'm over 2 years into ttc with no luck and about to step onto the AC carousel reluctantly. I have borderline high fsh so expect my AMH to reflect this and for it to be hard going. I'm so glad your follicle did the business and do come and update us on how you are getting on.

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