is it time to let him depend on himself

[zeeemum]

God bless the creator of this page thats what i want to start saying .
Now the issue on hand is ... my 8 year old son ... we live in west Africa a little more intense school curricilum that what is in the US, but the problem is not that , i want know is it time for him to study on his own and try to focus on his own without me hammering over his and stressing both our lives out ... is time to let him be in control ? will he be able to REALLY study like how he should ? and please i beg any reader that has improved a handwritting that looks like have been written by a cave man 1000's of years ago to a more understandable one PLEASE let me know the way and solution.
Iam tired and he is tired of being stressed i come to those with more experience than me to kindly enlighten me and guide me to be a better mother because i feel my son is hating me some how.
thank you reader for your valuable time and God bless you for any advice that will make tomorrow a better day upon me and my son.

[dementedpixie]

He's only 8, what study does he need to do? At that age (last year ) ds maybe had some spelling and a bit of reading but nothing that took more than about 20 minutes max.

[zeeemum]

let me provide a small insight into the subjects here to study :
spelling 30 words : poetry to memorize : math homework daily long term multiplication now : grammar homework every now and then : composition once a week : social studies once a week homework : french once a week homework : comprehension once a week homework
its kind of a British standard thing and boy am i looking forward on returning to the US after my husband is done from here .
P.S : all teachers just can't stop complaining about his handwriting .

[dementedpixie]

I'm in the UK and my 2 get nowhere near that amount of homework!! My 2 are 9 and 12

[zeeemum]

it is a load of work i do admit ... i am as frustrated of it as he is ... the others in his class are able to keep up and get good grades ... and i know comparing is wrong ... but i can't help just keep wondering what am i doing wrong ? if it is his focusing ? how do i help him ? his handwriting .. how do i help him ? to let him take control and try to study on his own seems like a lot on him ! am lost and his having tests coming up soon before the holidays that means more work to come

[DadDadDad]

Quick thought: if you decide to give him more freedom (to succeed or fail) I wouldn't just jump to a big change all in one go. I feel that it is a gradual process of letting them take more and more responsibility. Let him know your expectations.

I suppose a key question is how motivated is he? Does he want to do well in these subjects, and if you left him alone to learn his spellings, would he get on with it, and surprise you?

[zeeemum]

thank you so much Dad ,,, there is a lot to think about in what you said. truly appreciate your insight

[dementedpixie]

8 is very young to be left to their own devices with regards to homework. I am only really at that stage with Dd (12) as she is now at high school rather than primary. I think that at a younger age they need parental input.

[zeeemum]

thank you for your thoughts dementedpixie i will consider balancing the scale out ... letting him do the subjects he likes on his own such as math and be there to guide him through the hard ones such as spellings ... i hope its a good way to get him and me in the right direction

[Gingernut81]

What about trying to turn handwriting practice into something fun? You could fill a tray with things like sand, shaving foam, goo (mix corn flour & water together). Try to focus on his formation of individual letters to start with then join 2 letters together and so on until you are writing whole words.