question re: deregistering from private school

[abitpearshaped]

Do you follow the same procedure, as in, write to the head of the school to be removed from register?
And do they then inform the LEA, as they do in state schools?
Thanks

[AMumInScotland]

With a private school you just have to follow whatever the rules are in your contract - which usually means you have to give written notice at least a term before you're planning to remove the child.

I've no idea if they contact the LEA though - I don't think they would legally have to, since they are not part of the state system. You could be taking your child out to go to another private school, or moving abroad or anything.

From what I have read of the legislation, private schools aren't really "schools" so far as the education act is concerned. I think legally, the parents at private school may actually be HE'ing anyway!

[abitpearshaped]

HE is something I've been considering for a while, but I have doubts I would be able to convince my dh. The school is fine, but I have had a nagging feeling for about 2 years that dd1 (9) would be less nervy, fretful and concerned with the popularity contest that is the playground if she took some time out. She was previously at a state school which was awful,and she was so unhappy, which is why we felt we had no option other than to go private. But it only helped temporarily.
dd2 and ds seem to cope quite happily at school, but dd1 seems to only relax at the weekend (apart from Sunday evening), and holidays, and is a bit of a nightmare inbeteen..
It's hard to know if I'm overreacting, but I'm trying to find out what my options are.
Thanks for replying

[AMumInScotland]

Does the school tend to be full? If it's not a problem getting places there, then you could always suggest it to DH as something to try for a while, to see how you all get on with it, while knowing that you could get her back into the school later if it didn't work out. Harder if the school is tricky to get into though, as you may not then be able to get a place in the future if you wanted one. (I think you'd probably do fine with HE and not want to go back, but it can be easier to "sell" the idea if there's a clear way to back out of the decision).

Some children just find school doesn't suit them, even a school which you've carefully chosen and where the other children are happy, and she may well be happy and develop her self-confidence outside school.

[julienoshoes]

Hi abitpearshaped
I think Independant schools are supposed to inform the LA. In practise they don't always do that apparently.

Wouldn't really matter, you will have fulfilled your obligations by writing the deregistration letter. You have no obligations to tell the LA, nor worry if the school don't.

You daughter sounds like my son was. Only relaxed at weekends-and even then worrying about school next week.
Even took them to Alton Towers as a surprise one teacher training day and he mithered all day about getting home "Because otherwise I won't have enough time at home before I have to go back"
He'd start worrying openly about school about two weeks before the end of the summer hols.

Home was the only safe place for him and he wanted to be there.

Once we deregistered, that slowly changed. he was much more relaxed immediately, and slowly started to go out more.

Folks haven't realised he was related to me for years now. They just never saw him with me. I used to say at home ed camps "Yes I have three children, See that young man way over there, in that crowd of youngsters, the one with the very long hair, that's my lad"

He, like my other two, is an independent, free-thinking, relaxed, confident, happy individual. I out that entirely down to home education-and so does he.

[abitpearshaped]

Thanks for the replies, it's good to be able to get advice. It's also nice when someone else understands the way I feel. DH is from boarding school stock, where any unhappiness was "character-building".
I see dd blossom when she is not at school , but she becomes fretful, nervy and worried when she is at school. She is not being bullied as such, it is more the stress of the constant power struggles and popularity issues of the playground. She is sensitive and finds it hard to shrug off mean remarks, and I do feel increasingly concerned that she is losing confidence, not gaining resilience, which is what "sticking it out" should do.
I have talked to her teacher and the head, who are both lovely and do keep an eye on things, but it is starting to affect her school work as she is distracted by worrying about playtime, or she is concentrating on trying not to cry. I think she is also losing faith in me as I can't make the bad stuff stop. Not sure I'd be any good at HE but am willing to give it ago. Just have to work on DH now!

[abitpearshaped]

Thanks for the replies, it's good to be able to get advice. It's also nice when someone else understands the way I feel. DH is from boarding school stock, where any unhappiness was "character-building".
I see dd blossom when she is not at school , but she becomes fretful, nervy and worried when she is at school. She is not being bullied as such, it is more the stress of the constant power struggles and popularity issues of the playground. She is sensitive and finds it hard to shrug off mean remarks, and I do feel increasingly concerned that she is losing confidence, not gaining resilience, which is what "sticking it out" should do.
I have talked to her teacher and the head, who are both lovely and do keep an eye on things, but it is starting to affect her school work as she is distracted by worrying about playtime, or she is concentrating on trying not to cry. I think she is also losing faith in me as I can't make the bad stuff stop. Not sure I'd be any good at HE but am willing to give it ago. Just have to work on DH now!

[Kayteee]

Hi abitpearshaped,

This was posted on one of the other HE threads. It's a forum for Dads to chat about HE. Would he be interested in asking other Dads' opinions?

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