Home schooling 12 year olds

[uniquewoman]

Good morning to you all, I have almost come to the end of my tether with my twins secondary school and am now looking into home educating them for a few months whilst I attempt to get them into the school that I want them to attend, they are suffering both bullying and racism and as much as the school is trying to sort it out, the school itself is too big and they are unable to cope with this paticular year 7.. I have read though a lot of your posts but most of them seem to be about primary age children. I want to keep them on track with the national curriculum and am quite capable of doing so ( with some help from my seventeen yr old in maths..lol) I understand that I need to de-register them at school and that the LEA will be on my back to check that they are progressing, question is is there any support for children of this age, where do I get the books from? will I be able to register them again with any problems, as I really do want them to go back to school? Is it harder to move them to a different school if they are HE.

I am sure that this has been asked before and I apologise if it has, but cannot find it on the forum

I am under the Leeds LEA

Any advice would be appreciated so that I can make the proper choice for my twins

Niki

[uniquewoman]

Just thought that I would add that both of the twins have reacted in different ways to the situation at the school, neither of them are very positive, one of them is permanantly streesed and suffering from bad stomach aches and all that goes with it, the other one has undergone a character change, not my son anymore, very hard to cope with

Niki

[bigdonna]

uniquewoman im in same boat i have just deregistered my yr7 son i have recieved the forms from lea to fill in and am at present trying to find another school!!!my ds also has suffered migraines,stomach aches,constipation all due to the stress of going to school.he is at present doing maths books from whs for key stage 3,but finds them very easy.

[uniquewoman]

Are you teaching him the other subjects as well Bigdonna, How did the school react when you told them that you were removing him?

[bigdonna]

the school were fine they recommended it as he wouldnt go any way.he is also doing english ,as in he writes stories and poems and has done topics on what he is interested in.we did geography the other day,but we are only doing about two hrs written work,we go to parks and other places of interest.

[Kayteee]

I have a 12yr old who's been Home-ed for 4 years now but we don't follow the NC at all. You could just "de-school" for a few months if you're definitely sending them back. This means taking time out basically and having a break from NC. You are legally entitled to do this. I know several families who've done this and sent their dc back to school and they catch up with no problems. One little girl I know just recently returned to school after a year of doing absolutely no formal learning whatsover and she was in the top group after 2 days back!
If you're keen to follow NC though it's easy enough to get workbooks.

[musicposy]

I have a 13 year old, we deregistered her at 12. We followed the NC to the letter for the first 6 months as she was planning on going back and I wanted her to keep up. It isn't hard to do at all, there are detailed lesson plans on the government dfes setting the standards website, which I can link if you wish. We bought books from Letts, CGP and WHSmith and worked through them; they cover the Y8 curriculum very nicely.

Recently we've digressed a bit because she is studying for some iGCSEs so she is concentrating on those and has dropped some subjects for the moment. She's not going back into school, so we no longer feel the frantic need to keep her up with exactly what her peers in school are doing. But if you want to, it's not hard.

As for returning to school, we got the distinct impression from our LA that if we wanted to go back, to anywhere, to speak to them and they would swing it for us. They have a duty to find a suitable place for you once you are out of school, whereas when you are in school there is no reason to put themselves out! But don't take this as gospel because I am a long way from Leeds!

[Yurtgirl]

Musicposy - Thats really interesting about the lesson plans on the dfes website - I would love a link to that if you dont mind

Uniquewoman - good luck with doing the best for your twins - Im sure all will be fine in the end

[musicposy]

Hi yurtgirl,
here is the link
You choose your subject/ year/ key stage (3 for early secondary age 11-14) at the top and then what you want comes up.

[Yurtgirl]

Musicposy, you are fab thanks

[dawnx]

hi all, i have taken my son out of school due to bullying, and the school letting it happen, i have bought all the letts books and im looking for a maths tutor, im just worried about the social side, i feel he needs friends in the same position, im wondering if there are any meetings or groups in and around leeds, any help or information would be great

[julienoshoes]

Hello dawnx
Check out the groups page on the HE-UK website.
There are a couple of email contacts for Leeds home educators.

hth

[TerrieB]

TeriB
I too have a daughter who has been bullied so much in school (yr8) that since she came out of school on Friday at 10am (in tears and full of fear)I have now decided its best to home school her, which I am very concerned as to how hard it will be, plus scared of letting her down, I am a single parent with little support.

Can anyone tell me how do I actually go about this? and what are the first few things I have to do, I would be very grateful for any advice.

thanks x

[Desiderata]

What is she being bullied about, Terri?

Surely taking her out of school means the bullies win.

[poopscoop]

hi Terri.

Firstly, you are not letting your daughter down. You have done the right thing. Have you sent your de-registration letter to the school yet? You can get drafts of the letter from www.educationotherwise.org
Get that sent off then you are free to do whatever you please.

If your DD has been subjected to bullying, I would give her some 'time out' just ot relax, do a bit of chilling out, some sport or whatever makes her relax. Then you need to decide which home ed route you would like to follow. Is she going to do exams? Or be autonomous in her learning?

I would recommend joining some of the home Ed groups, maybe education otherwise and HE-UK and from thereyou can find out loads more info espeically on the social side. There may well be groups in your area which your DD can go along to. Also does she have any friends out of school? Keep up with those and any other sporting or guides or whatever .

It is all quite daunting when you start off, and I was constantly worried that I may be doing the wrong thing, or not bright enough etc, but a few years down the line, we have never looked back.

My DS is 12. We have decided to do some exams, so we are studying a couple of subjects at a time and just doing IGCSE's slowly from now on. Hopefully by the time he gets to 16 he will have no less qualifications than if he had gone to school. Except this is done without thepressure of doing them all at once. We only study in the mornings, sometimes finished by 11 am, so we can go out and do fun stuff, swimming, golf, visitng grandparents, dog walking, library, whatever or just make a cake.

Most of all remember that your DD does not have to have her head in a book from 9 til 4 everyday

[julienoshoes]

We are getting so may enquiries to our info link on our local HE website, I have now written a basic welcome letter that I can adapt and send out quickly to new home educators. I am posting it here-minus details of local groups that I usually send, to see if it is helpful to you TerrieB.

I'm Julie home ed mom to three. We deregistered our children 8 years ago.
We haven't had a single regret, not one in all those years, we have had such a fantastic life.

Our children came out of school eight+ years ago when they were then aged 13, 11 and 8. They all have dyslexia/dsypraxia and dysgraphia and their needs were unmet by the schools they attended.
We were actually appealing for a statement for our youngest when we found out about home education.

The following is my 'Welcome to home education in Worcestershire' letter-forgive me if I seem to be telling you things you already know.


There are many different ways to home educate.

Some families do 'school at home' -indeed the majority of home educators start off this way, upon leaving schools behind, but most become much more relaxed in their approach as they realise that home based education can be much more relaxed and based around the children's interests.

Some families are totally autonomous (including ours) where the children's interests are followed and the education is facilitated by the parents rather than taught.

Then there is just about every combination in between.

You see the choice of how to home educate is entirely yours. There is no set number of hours/subjects to cover at all.
Your responsibility in law is summed up in Section 7 of the Education Act where it says
The parent of every child of compulsory school age shall cause him to receive efficient full-time education suitable?

(a) to his age, ability and aptitude, and

(b) to any special educational needs he may have,

either by regular attendance at school or otherwise.

The how/why/when of it, is totally down to your choice!

I'd strongly suggest you have a look at some of the main websites about home ed to start you off.

Education Otherwisethe biggest HE charity. This website has very recently been revamped and contains all the info you need to know about the process of deregistration etc. The information is very up to date.

HE-UK is an excellent independent HE website owned and run by a home ed dad with great experience. He is also a journalist/publisher-and a researcher on home ed issues. This website also has all the legal info you need-and an excellent page of 'Articles' that I really recommend (especially those on Deschooling and Home Visits}

Both of the above websites have links to home ed support lists.

Muddle Puddle is an excellent website for families who home educate children under 8 years old.
They have an affiliated Early Years Home Education email support group

Home Ed in the UK is another excellent independent website, full of links to resources and ideas. Owned by a home ed mom who educated her lads all the way through their teen years.

Home Education-Special Needs and their
associated email support group The knowledge support and advice available on that list are second to none-freely given by the real experts in this field, parents who are home educating their SEN children.

and there is also a Home Educating Single Parents email support list that I am sure you would benefit from -lots of support there from parents who have been where you are right now!



There are also some books I would recommend you have a look at:

'Free Range Education' edited by Terri Dowty

is a book where families each wrote a chapter about how home ed works for them. There is also a chapter by a home educating barrister, giving the legal info etc. A jolly good place to start IMHO

Terri Dowty also co edited a book especially written for families interested in home educating children with SEN

'Home Educating our Autistic Spectrum Children; Paths are made by walking'


Alan Thomas is Visiting Fellow at the University of London, Institute of Education. He is a Fellow of the British Psychological Society. His has been looking at informal home education or 'autonomous home education' as it is called in the UK. In his latest book

'How Children Learn at Home'

he has followed up on previous research and looked at autonomously home educated young people and discovered how amazingly effective it is. Well worth a read (although I am biased as my family took part in this research)

'One to One: A Practical Guide to Learning at Home Age 0-11' by Gareth and Lin Lewis

may be very useful to give you a starting point.

There is also

'Unqualified Education :A Practical Guide to Learning at Home aged 11-18',

also by Gareth Lewis.

If you join the charity Education Otherwise, you'll get a copy of the book

'School is Not Compulsory'

again well worth the read. You will also get a contact list of families who welcome contact from others.

I could go on and on. Many people would recommend you read anything by John Holt, and I wouldn't disagree,

but my personal favourite inspirational read
is
'The Teenage Liberation Handbook:How to Quit School and Get a Real Life and Education'

Written for teenagers, this is the book that really showed me the freedoms that home education can bring!

All of these books can be ordered fro the library or can be obtained on Amazons 'new and second hand'


Resource wise, you can spend as much money as you like. We are on a very limited income as my hubby retired from working as a Nurse Teacher some years ago, on the grounds of ill health and I changed my career path to work very part time around his needs and the children's education.
We get all of our resources free off the internet and Freecycle or from charity shop/car boot sales/Ebay!
We go along to workshops organised by other home ed parents and use libraries/art galleries etc when they are empty of schooled children.


Does that go some way to answering your questions?

The other thing I would strongly recommend TerrieB is that you find other home educators local to you. I'll bump the thread about doing so for you right now, and also the threads about deregsitering and the ones with more books and websites on HE

[musicposy]

And don't take any nonsense from people who say you should face up to it/ not let the bullies win/ toughen her up etc etc. That makes be so cross and is entirely the wrong way to build a child's confidence. An average of 16 chilren a year in the UK commit suicide because they are so desperate to escape bullying.

You have absolutely done the right thing. I always remember the first home ed group we took our youngest to, her first question was "but what if the children are horrible to me?"

I'm pleased to report that they were lovely, and she is now more confident and sociable than she has ever been. I think she could probably stand up to most things with confidence now. Had we kept her in school it would have been very different.

[musicposy]

Also, Terri, try to get some local support. There are plenty of people out there. My elder daughter is Y8 - you are definitely not alone
If you post roughly in the country where you are, there should be people on here who can put you in touch with local groups.

[TerrieB]

Thankyou so much for all this fab information and kind words, I will look at all the sites given to me and I am arranging to meet with the school this Friday to start the ball rolling. Once again thankyou. Kind regards TerrieB (Liverpool area - L30 postcode)

[TerrieB]

I would just like to say that my daughter has been bullied for so long on and off, I dont believe she is safe in school and these bullies (all 13 years of age) smoke dope and skunk during their lunch break, for which I have discussed this with the school on two occasions, these are the same bullies that beat a girl, 5 weeks ago while on the floor so bad and would'nt stop untill they knocked her out, so I dont think I am letting the bullies win, I just want my daughter safe.

But thanks again for such positive reply's.

[julienoshoes]

Pleasure TerrieB. Enjoy!

and the HE-Uk website Local pagelists a cotact for Liverpool

[Eri2]

Dear All

After reading all your messages, I was so sorry to hear of so many awful cases of your children being bullied at school. Since my son started his first year at secondary school he has experienced bullying but not at the hands of children but by a teacher ! Within my son's first term this particular teacher had broken practically every staff code of conduct in the school's anti bullying and harassment policy. After having to complain twice, the has apparently stopped, but the damage to my son's confidence/emotional wellbeing has been done. I am also very unhappy with the school's regime that has an unwritten policy of being as hard as possible on the year 7s. My son is not a trouble maker, is bright, but has difficulty with remembering/organisation and finds this very stressful within this school's environment. Your messages has given hope me to find an alternative to secondary school education.
Eri

[robberbutton]

Hi Eri, sorry to hear of your son's bad experience at school. Hope finding an 'alternative' goes well- ask whatever you want, there's loads of support and advice on here (not from me so much as my oldest is only 4 )

Good luck

[stressedHEmum]

I have HEed my 17 year old for the last 6 years, also have a 13 year old who has been out of school for 3 years. we don't follow any curriculum but my older boy found the CGP books very useful over a wide range of subjects. My 13year old quite likes them as well, because they are a bit tongue in cheek while still having all the info they need. I can't help with the NC, sorry, we don't have it here. They used to do a home educator's discount via their website, but I don't know if they still do.

Julie, what's dysgraphia? My 13 year old can't write, use punctuation, spell or track on a page when he is writing. He can't even deploy full stops, even though he knows the theory fine. He is also very clumsy and floppy. An OT assessment when he was 10 gave him a writing age of 4 1/2, but the OT reckoned it was a perception problem and gave him some exercises to do but there was never any follow up. The school just wouldn't help at all, even refusing to put in place the OTs suggestions. He is only very marginally better now and I don't know how to deal with it any longer.

Sorry to hijack the thread, op.

[julienoshoes]

hello stressedHEmum

There is a short film about dysgraphia here

Do you want to email me on the Worcs HE contact email addy and we could swap phone numbers to chat in real life if that would help?