Well...as some of you know, we dereg'ed in the summer and ds (now 5) has been at home ever since. It's been good - he's learnt stuff he wanted to, has self educated a lot, the only thing is that he's not had many friends round because unfortunately I got ill at the beginning of August and have not had much energy and also didn't want to pass on the infection. So we haven't gone out with other families very much.
We had a phone call from the good school in town the other week to say did we want to stay on their waiting list - they have a one class intake - and I said yes please, and then the other day they rang to say they had a place. So I said we would take it and he is going there after half term.
He is resistant to the idea and of course my being ill hasn't helped but I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand I still hate schools and all they represent, but on the other it would be a relief if he had something to do on the days when I am completely knackered and feeling rotten, as currently he just has to sit around and doesn't get to play with anyone.
(We don't yet know any other HEers round here)
The other big thing is that my family have lost the plot over it all. From the start my mother has refused to even discuss it as she feels I was trying to convince her it was a good idea and not damaging for ds to be home educated - well, yes, under harsh criticism that is surely what any parent would do, defend their decision! but anyway she didn't want to know and has made constant comments about it which I wasn't allowed to negate or argue with.
Dad has tried and still made comments about how worried he is about ds having anyone to play with, but has asked me about good books so he can learn about it and said he knows I want the best for ds. (thanks Dad)
Then last week (before we got the school place offer) my sister rang me for the first time in over a year and completely ranted at me for about 20 minutes about school and how wrong it all was and what a terrible parent I am - without even knowing WHY we left school (the original school was meant to be holding a place till autumn, but changed their minds so we had no choice - plus I had always wanted to HE, hated school and it seemed obvious when we lost the place!)
and I have just felt utterly, utterly unsupported in the whole thing. With so much negativity surrounding it and with no partner on my side, I have felt increasingly like we have no chance of making it work if they are all so against it. I feel like they have not given us a fair chance as i have been so ill all summer and it's been a nightmare - I've taken him out a few times on the train and so on but have not managed half as much as I wanted to do with him, due to feeling terrible.
Now I am stuck between them and ds because he is petrified about going to a new school.
He's going to give it a try and I've said he can stop again after a few weeks if he hates it, but I can't help feeling very upset and angry with my family for making out I am a crap mother and it would be a disaster right from before we even began
Sorry to moan. I have to get this out as it's bothering me so much. I guess I might feel less vulnerable to their views and opinions if I was married to someone who felt the same but sadly I'm not and I feel so alone.
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We're trying school again, could not cope with the pressure from family
15 replies
Flightattendant2 · 14/10/2008 05:46
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