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Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

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Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

Home ed

I Feel So Alone

28 replies

NotAMum1Org · 26/02/2016 08:30

Hello everyone,

This is going to be a unique one but I need all the help I can get... I am totally over my head.

I am 18 years old and have a long term boyfriend. I personally have no children but my boyfriends brother is home schooled. Unfortunately the mum has no time or knowledge to do this herself so for the past 2 years he has had no education except for sometimes Googling things about dinosaurs.

I can not stand it anymore and have volunteered my time to tutor him an hour each day from 5-6 (I work 7-4)

As you can guess I don't even know where to begin! How do you take exams? I want him to have GCSE's....

Have you guys got any resources to help the learning process? He is 12 at the moment; 13 in July.

I feel so alone.

Please help me,

Kya

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NotAMum1Org · 26/02/2016 08:32

ps. Im in Norfolk, England

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EustaceTheDragon · 26/02/2016 08:37

Does she not take him to groups? Does he have a friendship group? Is he being neglected?

Proper home ed is very time consuming and requires a high level of parental involvement. It's lovely of you to want to help. As for GCSEs, you can buy preparation packs that have all the workbooks and text needed for the topic.I can't remember what company sells them, though. GCSEs can be sat independently, but it can cost £££.

Are yiu being paid for your tutoring time?

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NotAMum1Org · 26/02/2016 10:43

Thank you for your concern. As for friendship groups he never leaves the house, but has several friends online. I know it is not the same but it's the best I can do (hopefully when I pass my driving test next month I can get him outside to meet more people)

Our situation is a strange one... my boyfriend has worked since he left high school to support his mum and brother (she doesn't work)

I would never ask for money but even if I did, it would be my boyfriend who is paying me... and since we live together and my wages combine with some of his to pay our rent etc. it wouldn't work....

He is very stressed hence why I'm trying to help as much as I can

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NotAMum1Org · 26/02/2016 10:44

We are running out of money, so I am looking for any free help packs... if there isn't any then that is okay, we will just have to safe for a few months

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EustaceTheDragon · 26/02/2016 10:57

Are you on Facebook? There are lots of home ed groups you can access online.

www.facebook.com/freehomeeducationuk/?fref=ts

This is a good group, but there are loads more available if you search for your area + home education or HE or home ed or similar.

You sound like you are more worried about his education than his own mother, which is sad.

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TealLove · 26/02/2016 11:11

You are taking on a lot here. It's great you want to help and you care but it's a massive responsibility and I think you need some support.

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NotAMum1Org · 26/02/2016 11:19

I am on Facebook, thank you :)

@TealLove I know it may seem that way but if you think about it, before I volunteered he wasn't getting anything. And I have 4 years before he has to face his GCSE's. Trying is better than nothing :) Thank you for your concern though

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TwoWeeksInCyprus · 26/02/2016 11:19

It doesn't sound like he is home schooled - it sounds like he's getting no schooling whatsoever.
As a PP said, proper home schooling is very time consuming.
As his mother doesn't do it properly, and you obviously work full time, wouldn't it be good to look at sending him to a state school instead?
Then you'd know he'd be getting an education and having the chance to mix with other children his age.
I honestly can't see how even with the best of intentions that you're in a position to give him what he needs.

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amysmummy12345 · 26/02/2016 11:22

Why doesn't he go to school?

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NotAMum1Org · 26/02/2016 11:59

He doesn't go to school because he has social anxiety, and was bullied for being too quiet. He is terrified of high school, though is happy to go to sixth form as I managed to persuade him there are no bullies there.

I will give up my last breath so that he doesn't have to go through the hell that he went through before

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NotAMum1Org · 26/02/2016 12:06

If you don't think I tried everything I can to try and persuade him and his mother to put him in a high school, then you are sorely mistaken.

I am trying to make the best out of a hard situation, so I can here for support not to tell me that I can not do it.... Even though sometimes it is hard to convince myself....

It's either I suck it up and help this kid, or he goes through life with no qualifications.

Beside from kidnapping and forcing... (which I am not okay with doing!) he is not going to High School

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EustaceTheDragon · 26/02/2016 12:10

That's fair enough, not everyone is suited to a mainstream school setting.

There are a lot of people out there that would be sympathetic to your situation; the home ed community at large has a lot of experience helping children with social anxiety.

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amysmummy12345 · 26/02/2016 12:17

Was just wondering what the situation was in case I'd missed it on one of the earlier posts... Reading deliriously with one eye shut thanks to vomiting bug could you contact the local L.A to see what support is available considering the situation? They might be able to point you in the direction of resources/support groups etc...

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TwoWeeksInCyprus · 26/02/2016 12:18

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like I was saying you couldn't do it, rather just trying to see whether you and his mother had considered other options too, which you clearly have.

I'm not a home schooler (just saw your thread in Active Conversations), so other home schoolers are better placed to offer advice and support, which is why you posted here in the first place obviously!

I wish you luck, and hope that you and your boyfriend get the support you need to help his brother. Just keep your options open, and get as much support from any source you can.

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amysmummy12345 · 26/02/2016 12:19

Should read LEA (local education authority) not LA

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NotAMum1Org · 26/02/2016 12:28

@EustaceTheDragon Thank you so much, I myself have quite strong anxiety (though not about people) so I totally get it

@amysmummy12345 Hope you feel better soon! And that is the plan, but im finding it hard to find any contact details for my area. I'm really not used to this (plus at my age I have had no experience in anything grown up!)

@TwoWeeksInCyprus No, im sorry. I am snappy because i'm stressed :) No hard feelings. Thank you for your wishes

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spanky2 · 26/02/2016 12:28

There are lots of resources online. Look online for a copy of ks3 so you know what he should be covering. YouTube also has teachers demonstrating many areas that he will need to study. There are also forums and resource banks for home ed. Are there any of your old secondary school teachers you could go to for help organising his curriculum?

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NotAMum1Org · 26/02/2016 12:33

@Spanky2 What a fantastic idea! I also know a few teachers I could ask in my family

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gleegeek · 26/02/2016 12:44

Bless you. This is a hard thing to do at any age but at 18! Wow you are very special to even think of it.
How interested is the boy in learning? Does he just need a bit of direction to get himself going or is he not particularly concerned.
There is an online school which I've heard works for many children who aren't happy at mainstream school. I think it was called Interhigh but it does cost so I don't know if that would be any use?
Khan academy is free I believe...
Good luck!

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EustaceTheDragon · 26/02/2016 12:56

Interhigh is pricey, buy there are free resources out there. The LEA/LA are often worse than rubbish in knowing about or providing resources for home educating families, but you never know.

I'm assuming his gp is involved?

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NotAMum1Org · 26/02/2016 13:03

@gleegeek thank you! That is really nice to hear. He is very interested in learning (luckily we get on well so he is also excited to spend some time with me) but you know young boys... Xbox is far more important at that age!!

@EustaceTheDragon I don't actually know if his GP is involved... knowing his mother probably not... actually knowing his mother he probably doesn't have one... Don't worry i'll try to sort that out too. I set it all up for my boyfriend, I can do it for his brother

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spanky2 · 26/02/2016 13:05

Glad to help.

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BinaryFinary · 26/02/2016 14:19

*disclaimer i know nothing about GCSEs or homeschooling but would BBC bitesize be useful?

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NotAMum1Org · 26/02/2016 14:35

@BinaryFinary For sure! I will definitely use that as it's great for learning :)

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Akallabeth · 26/02/2016 20:27

Do you have any idea of what kind of level he is working at in Maths/English etc. Does he have any (even un-diagnosed) learning barriers e.g dyslexia? I think at 12 he is probably old enough to have some input into his learning , so your first steps might be to discuss with him what he wants to learn and what his future goals are. This will help you both put together an action plan to get him where he wants/needs to be in X amount of time.

Once that was established I'd suggest he did a bit of reading, writing and maths each day, which you could then go over together during your tutoring time each evening and see what he needs help with. Then you can set the tasks for the following day. If he's not been used to do much, I'd start with a small amount to begin with then gradually build up. Maybe read about a topic he is particularly interested in, then write about it. Once that routine is well established you can start introducing other things or other subjects, depending on what you agreed together.

Remember that GCSEs don't necessarily need to be all sat in one go at 16 and neither is it always necessary to take 8/10 subjects at GCSE either. Again this will all depend on what his goals are. If he plans to go on to do a specific college course, then the entry requirements would be a good guide of what he will need to achieve. There are plenty of books/curriculums (both free and paid) available once you have an idea what you are looking for.

On the topic of socialisation, I think this wouldn't be too much of a major concern for me at the moment. You say he talks to online mates and is talking to you/ other family members, so he is not a total recluse. I think speaking to GP and maybe getting some counselling or advice re his anxiety would be a good first step here. Later, once his education is on track you can begin to tackle the other issues if necessary.

Good luck and well done for stepping up to help this boy out. Remember to take care of yourself as well though.