very negative reaction from grandparents

[duplofrenzy]

Starting to HE DS (reception age this year, would be Y1 in sept). Very negative reaction from grandparents. They think that we are harming him and don't have his well being in mind. Any advice on how to best deal with this gratefully received. Live close by, so more of an issue that might otherwise be.

[Saracen]

Difficult!

I have found that many people can cope with the idea of a year or two without school, while being terrified of the notion that you might do this Forever. The thing is, even if the GPs were right and HE were not in your son's best interests, how much damage could you do to him in a year? Would such a mistake be irreparable, in their opinion?

So, in addition to any other discussions you have with them, I would reassure them often that this is what you are doing for the time being, just to see how it goes, and that you plan to review things next year and you are open to the possibility that he will go to school then. (Even if that isn't true, strictly speaking!) That might just calm them down a bit.

As time passes, it's very likely that they will see for themselves that there is no need to panic and that he is doing well. It's a question of buying some time so that can happen.

[Saracen]

The line, "In some countries the children don't even start school until they are seven, and they seem to do fine" has stood me in good stead, not just for keeping my kids out of school but also for not requiring them to learn to read before they wanted to.

And by the time my older child was seven, people had given up trying to change my mind!

[ommmward]

What Saracen said. I know lots of people who use the "until they are seven" line. By the time the child is seven, they are so clearly thriving that no one asks any more.

[Ineedmorepatience]

I am going to be telling my parents next week that we are removing Dd3 from school!!

I am further along in my parenting journey than you OP and have the confidence to tell them that it is our decision and I dont actually need their opinion, however obviously it would be nice if they can understand why we are doing it even if they dont agree.

Stay strong OP he is your son not theirs

[duplofrenzy]

Thank you for your replies.
I have already tried to sell the short term thing to them.
Think I will just have to develop a thick skin. If they thought logically about it the best thing they could do would be to accept the decision (we are doing it anyway!) and show him/ tell him interesting things every now and again.

I needmore, I hope it hopes well next week and also that you enjoy HE.

[morethanpotatoprints]

hello OP

I had this from one set of gps, everyone else was very supportive.
have you asked them for examples of how they feel it is wrong?
I tried this and the best they could come up with was that I wasn't qualified to teach maths as my degree wasn't related.
I asked him if he thought every primary teacher had a degree in all the subjects they would teach?
Unfortunately, gf is a stubborn dm reader who still won't admit he was wrong and that dd has thrived during the past 3 years.
If you think they will be a source of help to you once they understand more then it may be worth educating them a bit, otherwise you just have to ignore and not include them.
It is a shame because we have found other family members who were on board from the start have skills that dd has been able to utilise and the adults have had a certain amount of input into what she has learned.

[Amberdays]

Hi duplofrenzy, I took my 8yo out of school a couple of months ago and my 5yo hasn't been. GM was very unsupportive of the whole thing and could not get her head around the whole thing. I said it was for a couple of years initially (tho I don't ever want them to go back at this stage!). My kids are loving being at home, are intelligent, articulate and curious as well as sociable. I get the odd comment about are they following the curriculum etc (which they're not lol) but they've pretty well accepted it and can see they are learning all the time. Just keep following your instincts, your child will doubtless thrive and they will have to accept the proof of the pudding. Good luck!