I really really want to home ed! Am I being silly?

[fber]

My kids don't mind school, they're 5 and 6. But I am not happy about it. I just think they're too young and not emotionally ready for the rat race of 30 or so kids together in a classroom! I hated school despite being bright, and the education failed me. I'm a counsellor too so I see many casualties of our education system. I just think that school is a big gamble that doesn't always pay off.

Am I being silly and over protective? I have the time to home ed, and I am self employed in my counselling so I can dip in and out and my husband's about too.

I just really want to!

Please share your thoughts x

[ommmward]

It's legally equivalent.

As long as you are engaged and interested (and it helps if there's a large-ish home ed community within 30 minutes drive), why not? The schools will still be there if and when you need them :)

[fuzzpig]

Well, mine are 7 and 5 and we are hopefully about to start HE! I think my DCs will really benefit from it. DS (5) in particular is really struggling with being in a big class. While there was an element of "they don't cope with school" in our decision, it's a very positive choice too - something we've always wanted to do. I am so excited about tailoring their learning to them!

I am finding out about the local home ed 'scene' and it seems very busy. It'll take a lot of planning because we don't drive but luckily we have good public transport here.

[MistletoeBUTNOwine]

YANBU- HE is great

[Violetta007]

I'm very pro home ed but different things suit different kids. I have one child who thrives with HE and another who thrives in a mainstream school.

[Liara]

That's why we he our 4 and 8yo dc.

Bothe dh and I hated school, despite doing well there, and felt that our natural love of learning was in fact thwarted at every step in favour of preparing us for exams.

We don't want that for our dc, and our lifestyle allows it, so we he. The dc love it, and are really developing in every way.

It was hard work at first for dh (he does all the structured stuff) but now it's set up and they are pretty self managing. It keeps him on his toes learning new stuff too, which he enjoys. It is a very, very big time commitment though, and there are times when I wish they were just off at school all day for a little bit (it passes, though).

[Saracen]

You are not being silly to really really want it. HE zealots like me will talk until the cows come home about what a lot of fun it is and how happy it makes our kids.

You might be silly to home ed if your kids really really don't want it.

However, it can be hard to tell with little kids. They probably would have some trouble imagining what it could be like, and at their age they may not have the perspective to weigh up the whole situation and make a proper decision. I even knew a severely bullied, suicidal girl who said she still wanted to stay in school - it was one of the few cases I've ever known where the parent then removed the child from school against her wishes. (Within two weeks the girl had declared that she was never going back.)

If you like the idea and your kids' dad agrees, why not see what they think? You say your children "don't mind" school but it is remarkable how accepting some children are of situations which they do not have the power to change. That isn't exactly the same as enjoying it. What's more, even if they do enjoy school, what's to say they wouldn't love HE even more? If you give them a real choice, they may jump at the chance.

As ommmward just observed on another thread, it is extremely common for a family to remove just one (visibly unhappy) child from school, only to find that within a matter of months the siblings decide that they want a piece of the action too, despite having seemed perfectly happy at school previously. They hadn't known what they were missing!

[fber]

Thank you. Is it really that big a time commitment? I was thinking that since 30 kids get a teaching assistant and a teacher between them all day, that just a fraction of one on one time would be needed. I'm hoping to take lots of trips out etc too! x

[Liara]

Yes, they could certainly learn what they are learning in school in a very short time a day, but he children in my experience don't care what they would be learning in school, they want to learn what they want to know and are absolutely insatiable.

And the whole point about he is giving them what they want and as much as they want of it, so it can get pretty full on.

[fber]

I want it to be child led. I want to be able to say to my children 'would you like to learn how to ...... ' and then get on with researching it. I don't want my children to be entered into any exams unless they expressly choose to be. My little girl was chatting to me the other day and she said 'I'm at the bottom of the class mummy. Well I'm not, but the bottom person is X and I'm just on top of him'

I was horrified that she had been introduced to the 'bottom of the class' concept!

[Liara]

That's awful. Yes, we don't really have much truck with exams either, we plan to avoid any until dc are old enough to decide for themselves what they need to do in order to do the next thing they want to do, whether that be school, university or whatever.

I am sure it varies a lot from child to child, but our experience of child-led is that we end up running to keep just ahead enough to be able to teach them (or at least learn it with them, which is what we have already had to move to in many areas).

[fuzzpig]

it is remarkable how accepting some children are of situations which they do not have the power to change. That isn't exactly the same as enjoying it.

Yes I think that's the case with my DCs.

DD hasn't made the decision yet, I'm leaving it up to her as I don't want to force her - I really feel it will be better for her though.

[Saracen]

"Is it really that big a time commitment?" I think it depends what interests your children and how much help they want from you. Some are very independent and what they can't learn on their own, they don't want to be taught. They may still ask you to drive them to the biggest bus museum in the country, but most of the time they just get on with it. Others want loads of parental input.

I had one child who wanted my involvement quite a lot around the ages of 4-5 and then less as time went on, and one who has never wanted much input whatsoever.

Saracen: Shall we find a book about it?
Dd2: No thank you.

[fuzzpig]

In some ways I think it might be less time consuming because so much of the day ATM is taken up with school stuff - travel, homework, reading etc... So much that we don't really do anything beyond that like clubs etc and they will be able to do much more if they don't go to school!

I'm not sure about the actual learning bit, I often find myself dreaming up fun projects (which, again, we never have time to actually do because they are too tired from all the school stuff) so I'm looking forward to it.

I think I'll find it hard though just because I won't have as much quiet time.