How many hours a day do you do with your kids?

[Cadenza1818]

Hi,
I've been wrestling with Hed since my twins started playgroup. They've now just started Y1 and I'm freaking out. I spent 2hours doing homework last Sunday and I feel like they come home from school and by the time we've done reading / writing / spellings, they're exhausted, it's bed time and I haven't spent any time with my lovely boys. I've also got a 3rd son, aged 3 who's getting ignored in this time. My reasons for not Hed really were 1) confidence in my abilities 2) Not wanting to be their "teacher" and lose being their mother 3) Time 4) My MiL's disapproval!

I would really like to know from others what the reality of a day/week looks like? Do you have more time with your kids or do you get sick of them?! how do you get all other things done e.g. washing /cooking etc? Do I just need a complete mind shift?!

In all honesty I would love to send them to school, but as it is, I just see them being pushed more and more but equally don't want to put them at a disadvantage in life. See my doubts?!

[Thinking2014]

Hi, I have twins (3) and DD (8) I wish I had home ed from the start because my DD wouldn't have felt pushed away (into school) but included in the family and would have a much healthier attitude to learning than she does now.

IMO school is the worst place to put children, they're not taught they are dictated to and told what to learn and when. I do believe her attitude was picked up from other school kids too.

You should read through the threads here, there's a lot and they helped me. Look online at the HE websites, education otherwise was a big help among some others.... Good luck

[Velvetbee]

Hi Cadenza,
We are semi structured, so we do a bit of 'school' work but my children mostly learn by playing/experimenting and following their own interests. I have 2 younger ones, aged 9 and 7 and they do less than an hours structured work per day.

[morethanpotatoprints]

My dd is 10 and she usually manages about 2 hours a day on academic work.

She also does between 2.5 and 5 hours music practice a day.

Everyday is different though and most H.ed families I have heard about do what works for them.

A rough guide is 2 hours because this is the amount of time it takes to do what would normally take all day in school, iyswim.

There will always be people who disapprove, when you have facts and a strong philosophy of why you have decided to do it, they usually back down, or at least quieten down.

As for teaching them, well its kind of different to teaching and more like facilitating and letting them dictate to a certain extent.

There are lots of books written on the subject, listed on a thread here somewhere.

Confidence in your abilities. I think it is lovely when dd is interested in something I haven't got a clue about. We study it together and she makes a project or learns what she wants before moving on. It's good to say "I don't know, but we'll find out together".

[Cadenza1818]

hi
Thanks, these are really encouraging replies. Morethanpotatoprints - some really great advice, and fantastic that your dd is doing that much practice. My husband was a prof violinist and I'm a piano teacher and this is another reason for wanting to Hed. Schools simply ignore music (or at least ours does!) and they're already musical and it would be a shame to not have the time to nurture this.

[morethanpotatoprints]

Cadenza

Love your nn .

We have found the freedom from school attendance to be amazing.
Not only for the benefits you are told about before starting but those you realise when you have been doing it for a while.

I think it helps if you have an oh on board, I know many manage it on their own but don't think I would have done.

Sometimes it can be all consuming and you just want to say stop talking and asking questions, but you can't when you are their main source of information. As they get older though they will do a lot of information searching themselves and become independent learners, long before their spoon fed school peers.

I also think it is important to look at their personalities, so for e.g if they are really sociable friends and playing/hanging out will be really important to them. Maybe if they are a little more reserved or shy maybe just one group would be all they could manage.

As for the music, its amazing and dd hasn't looked back since leaving school, this for her was the main reason. She was just so tired after school and trying to fit in reading and the odd musical group her practice really suffered and had to take a back seat. Now it is her no 1 priority and she does this first before anything else The musical groups she has been able to join as a result have helped with socialising and she attends 5 now.