Thinking about home schooling

[sonlypuppyfat]

I was wondering was there any real difference in your childs mood/happiness when you took them out of school? We are just thinking about it but our DD seems much happier now its a possibility she can finish with school.

[sonlypuppyfat]

Bump

[morethanpotatoprints]

Hello OP.

I'm not sure if this will help at all, but in our experience, no huge changes.

However, there were no problems with school before she left so there were no bad experiences to overcome.

I would say the biggest change is confidence to try new things rather than being at the back of the queue. I'm sure this is a result of H.ed as she had been like this from before school started.

Sometimes she pushes boundaries more than she did, but I'm not sure this is H.ed related rather than being in several situations where she is constantly being told how marvellously talented she is.

If you have had problems I believe the changes are almost instant and confidence improves drastically if reading threads on here is anything to go by.

[FavadiCacao]

The difference was enormous but ds was severly bullied and had a few sensory issues.

Is your dd having problems with school?

[sonlypuppyfat]

She is a little behind with her reading and writing she does enjoy her lessons. It's really a bullying problem nothing physical but just mind games girls are playing on her. She is always complaining about tummy ache, and she has started being angry at home which isn't like her.

[morethanpotatoprints]

Ah, poor love.
In that case if you have made your mind up to H.ed you'll find the changes will be immediate.
I also wouldn't worry about the reading and writing either. If you give her free choice of what to read and remove levels and assessment you'll find she'll improve at her own pace and then probably love them both.

[sonlypuppyfat]

Thank you morethan I think I am doing the right thing.

[bobbysgirlfirst]

MASSIVE differences...from the moment they walked out of the school gates for the first time....
They never considered going back once, and we had a wonderful life (fully autonomous/consensual living/radically unschooled) living every day like it was holiday, right until they chose to go to college.
They HATED school, LOVED HE!

[sonlypuppyfat]

Thank you Bobbysgirl it does seem like I'm making the right choice.

[FavadiCacao]

Poor girl.

Ds changed immediately:no more tummy aches, headaches, wet trousers or melt downs. However, the bullying had a deeper effect and took along time for his self-esteem to rebuild. Ds also had learning difficulties which I believe would still be evident today, but HE allowed to work with him one to one, addressing every difficulty in turn. If your daughter is a little behind you'll find that she will thrive at home where you can choose materials (books, websites...) that are suitable to her and her style of learning, rather than to the average child in her class.

[sonlypuppyfat]

Fava that sounds just how my girl is. I can't wait to get her back how she was.

[streakybacon]

Huge difference here. My son has SN and was having enormous problems in school, where he was unsupported. We'd talked about HE, made the decision to deregister at half term, and then I got a phone call from the school to take him home as he'd 'kicked off again'. I found him weeping in the cloakroom and told him it was over, he never had to go there again, he'd be safe now. By the time we got back to the car, two minutes walk away, I swear he was three inches taller. The relief of knowing he never had to endure that hell-hole again was massive, and he started repairing from that moment on.

We're now five years on and he's fabulous apart from the teenage strops, obvs

[sonlypuppyfat]

Thank you streaky it sounds like I'm doing the right thing.

[sonlypuppyfat]

I wonder if anyone else has anymore advice.

[alybaba]

Hi this is my very first time on here, just wanted to say to sonlypuppyfat that i took my daughter out of y7 in february this year so we are really new to HE and its the best decision i have made. she was getting bullied and was refusing to go to school, it was very much like mental abuse and she couldnt take it anymore. girls can be sooooo horrible sometimes! I really believe that if a person or people have such a negative effect on your life and it makes you hate your life or makes you ill with stress then you have to do something about it. nobody has the right to make you feel terrible. I already have 2 daughters in their twentys and i'm a wiser mam with my 11 yr old because i've already been through stuff with them. cos HE is not the norm as such, people are scared of doing it but i honestly think that the best thing you can do is listen to your child and give them the love and support they need no matter what, hope this helps. let me know how you get on please.

[maggi]

We had an immediate change from an agressive, bullying, shouting, hitting, doorslamming, shoplifting, disappearing off, headachey, in-your-facey child to.... a calm, sweet and thankful child.
He is still recovering his self esteem and catching up with his English skills. But he gets nothing but compliments now. It could have been a very different story of school refusal and crime. We are so glad we took the plunge.

[alybaba]

Thats great maggi! my daughters the same and is getting her self esteem back a day at a time. she is so much happier! i think people tend to think that your kind of giving in to your child by taking them out of school but there not in your shoes and its easy to criticise other peoples decisions. the way i look at it is, i dont tell other parents how to deal with there children so keep your nose out if you have negative things to say about my situation. it would be nice if life was that simple but when your faced with an awful situation you want to do anything you possibly can to make it better.

[ToffeeWhirl]

I have now taken both my sons out of school because they were unhappy. DS1 had tics at school which almost immediately disappeared once he was home educated and never came back. DS2 has been out of school for about 10 days and there has been an instant change: he is singing to himself whilst he plays and he is so cheerful. He told me this morning that he now looks forward to every day. And he's eating his lunch now (it always came back from school untouched). It's lovely to see the change in him.

I was helping him with his handwriting this morning and praising him for his effort and he said, "You're so much kinder than the teacher." He told me she only ever criticised him .

I agonised over taking DS1 out of school. Second time around, there was no agonising and no discussion with the school: I just took DS2 straight out.

[alybaba]

Well done you Toffee, youve brought a tear to my eye this morning, but in a good way.

[ToffeeWhirl]

Sorry about that, aly! I agree with what you said in your previous post about people thinking you're giving in to your child if you take them out of school. You have to develop a thick skin and stop caring what other people think to go against the tide. I'm so glad your DD is so much happier already.

DS2 has gone off to visit the Science Museum in London with his Dad today. He looked so happy and excited as he left this morning.

[alybaba]

Theres nothing nicer than seeing your kids happy, no matter what age they are, my other daughters are 24 and 28 and a love it when lifes treating them right. what age are your sons toffee?

[ToffeeWhirl]

They're 8 and 14, aly. DS2 has just come back from his trip. I asked him which was the best bit and he said, "All of it!" .

[alybaba]

Awww thats fab! keep in touch, always here if u need a friendly shoulder.

[ToffeeWhirl]

Thanks, aly.