It's clicked! Finally :)

(13 Posts)
thriftychic Tue 15-Oct-13 22:01:19

saracen, i think youre probably right there . i have it in my head that by the time hes 16 he needs to either have some gcse's under his belt for progression to college or to help him find work .
He has been quite clear recently though that he will not be going to college , he is very opposed to learning anything . i am worried that i will be trying to get him to go places and do things and it will be met with a big fat no . I have had this scenario in the school holidays , he only wanted to go fishing with his dad

chocolatecrispies Tue 15-Oct-13 21:41:17

Sparkly I wonder if we are on the same fb group smile?

chocolatecrispies Tue 15-Oct-13 21:40:25

Well done you for sticking it out for two years, and not going down the route of 'autonomous didn't work for us'. I had a mini version of this at the weekend - ds aged 5 has preferred playing on the iPad to all over activities since we got one last October. At some points he was playing all the time. My faith was shaken from time to time but I also felt very strongly that autonomous is the right route for us. On Sunday for the first time ever he did not pick up the iPad once, he just did other things and never even mentioned it. I realised that I too had not thought the day when his interests would widen would ever come - in fact for this reason I had spent a long time reading up on the benefits of video games to make myself feel better about it.

Saracen Tue 15-Oct-13 21:39:26

thrifty, I wonder whether the reason you feel more daunted at the prospect of home educating a 14 year old is because you feel that the end of his education is in sight and so you are under time pressure to produce results and demonstrate progress?

That view reflects a schooling background. If education is something which happens only at school, it follows that you must cram all the education in before the child leaves school, because otherwise it will be too late.

The home ed perspective is different. If education is what the young person learns whenever and wherever and however he needs to do it, there is no end to it. There are no deadlines, and it is never too late for him to figure out that he needs to learn a particular thing and get stuck in. The attitude which HE young people absorb, that they are perfectly capable of learning throughout their entire lives, is a very useful one. It removes the pressure to make the "right" educational choices at an early age, first time round.

Of course, feeling relaxed about having a 14 year old who isn't pursuing an obviously academic route is not as simple as just buying the above argument. You'll still get external pressure from people who don't have the same priorities as you. But if you can really see how your son is engaging in what he is doing, and perhaps be reassured by the many home ed histories like that of Sparkly's son, perhaps it will not seem so shocking to have a 14 year old who appears to have no direction just yet.

chocolatecrispies Tue 15-Oct-13 21:39:07

Well done you for sticking it out for two years, and not going down the route of 'autonomous didn't work for us'. I had a mini version of this at the weekend - ds aged 5 has preferred playing on the iPad to all over activities since we got one last October. At some points he was playing all the time. My faith was shaken from time to time but I also felt very strongly that autonomous is the right route for us. On Sunday for the first time ever he did not pick up the iPad once, he just did other things and never even mentioned it. I realised that I too had not thought the day when his interests would widen would ever come - in fact for this reason I had spent a long time reading up on the benefits of video games to make myself feel better about it.

thriftychic Tue 15-Oct-13 15:46:04

thanks smile

Sparklysilversequins Tue 15-Oct-13 14:47:49

Yes I did. We have an annual review and another for his statement which I wish to maintain in case he decides to go back to school.

I keep a diary of everything we do, talk about and research to show them. I usually send a copy of an average week in when its time for review. We do A LOT of outings as we live in London so loads of museums, galleries theatres etc. we watch documentaries related to his interests too for example we would watch an episode of British Railway Journeys (as he loves trains) then research all the historical places that are featured on it. I suppose it's more that I expose him to tons of stuff, which looks good in the diary but it hasn't really been engaging him until very recently. They seem to think we are doing ok so that's good. For maths we tend to use apps on the IPad, maths bingo is good and I diarise all that too. When you diarise you will be amazed at what you are actually covering without realising.

thriftychic Tue 15-Oct-13 14:36:09

can i ask , have you had to show what you are doing with your ds to the LA , have you been inspected ? if you have how did you show them you were providing a suitable education ? hope you dont mind me asking

thriftychic Tue 15-Oct-13 14:33:47

thats fantastic ! grin
i am interested to hear your story because my ds2 also has autism (aspergers) . At the moment hes having a bad time at school and i have been considering HE . He has very narrow interests aswell and wont do any work at school because he finds it boring and cant motivate himself to do something he isnt interested in . I have been too worried to HE so far because i know all he will want to do is watch tv and youtube videos related to his hobby (fishing) . I cant even get him to do his homework from school , look at a book , go to a museum , anything really .
bit different for us though as ds2 is now 14 so not sure what to do at all.

NicholasTeakozy Tue 15-Oct-13 13:10:21

What a brilliant story. I'm really pleased for you and your DS.

Sparklysilversequins Tue 15-Oct-13 12:41:46

I belong to a group on FB with some fabulous posters, a couple post here as well. There's a few in particular who answer all concerns about kids just faffing around by pointing out the skills kids are learning just by faffing around grin and they ALL say it will come! I was at the point of thinking "my child must be the only one who will be the exception to that!" But they were right, it took a while but it did come.

Nyunya Tue 15-Oct-13 12:36:28

Yay hooray! What an encouraging story!

Well done for sticking at it.

Hardly ever post but felt very uplifted by your story.

Sparklysilversequins Tue 15-Oct-13 12:29:31

Ds has been out of school for exactly two years at the end of this month.

He has autism and his time at school was horrific culminating in him being assaulted by a teacher and us removing him age 8.

I have been determined to pursue autonomous HE as everything I read about screamed out as perfect for ds. For two years he has done little but watch videos on you tube, play lego games and build lego. I have taken him to a museum or gallery or sporting activity once a week hoping something would stick. Nothing did. I cannot tell you the sleepless nights I have had wondering if I am getting it all wrong.

His sister is doing the great fire of London at school at the moment. This week he picked up the fire of London book I ordered for her and read it from cover to cover, today he's been on the computer researching more and tells me he needs to go to Pudding Lane to see what it looks like now, monument and St Paul's to see the cathedral that was rebuilt afterwards.

I get him to check the weather for the day each morning for us. Today he said what it would be like according to the forecast then casually mentioned that I would need to get hold of some books for him like the fire of London one ie factual books so he can find what weather is really all about.

It doesn't sound like much but it IS, it's huge. He's interested in subjects outside his own narrow interests and wants to find out more, he's asking and showing curiosity. He's not scared of learning anymore. It's massive.

I am grin today.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now