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disappointed mum

41 replies

clementina25 · 13/10/2013 22:14

Dd in 6th year at Scottish state school, already has 5 As in Highers and 1 A at Advanced Higher. Sitting 2 more highers and 2 more advanced highers this year. Has decided not to apply to Oxford for a number of reasons. But had she thought about it earlier and visited she might have done. Will hopefully get into St Andrews - studying Physics. I can't help feeling really disappointed. Feel cross that Scottish students from state schools have a huge hurdle to overcome - do they try for oxbridge when it would mean shelling out £27-£36K more for a degree than if the go to a Scottish university? I worry that she will not be seen as so good as those who go to oxbridge. Hopefully someone can cheer me up.

OP posts:
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Mumraathenoisylion · 13/10/2013 22:15

If this is getting you down you should feel lucky for having such a wonderful life.

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RubySparks · 13/10/2013 22:18

St Andrews is one of Russell group universities so seen as a plus. There are also grants available to Scottish students who go to either Oxford or Cambridge, sorry cant remember which one it is!

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RubySparks · 13/10/2013 22:20
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Bluebell99 · 13/10/2013 22:22

Really, and what about all the students in England who have to pay for education in England or Scotland! You are being incredibly self centred and ridiculous.

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tunnocksteacake · 13/10/2013 22:24

This reply has been deleted

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zizza · 13/10/2013 22:26

I was going to say something similar to Bluebell - think yourself lucky that your dd won't have 60k of debt like my English dd (5 year course) if she goes to a Scottish uni

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tunnocksteacake · 13/10/2013 22:27

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ZenNudist · 13/10/2013 22:27

Your dd is very sensible to choose the cost effective university. In England students do t have the same option.

What do you think your dd will get out of an Oxbridge education that she can't get elsewhere. Does it outweigh the debt that she needs to get into?

Your poor dd doing so well & still 'disappointing' her dm. I hope you're hiding your feelings well. Feelings of inadequacy will hurt her more in her future career than a non-Oxbridge degree.

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kaumana · 13/10/2013 22:41

Impressive results, I'm not aware of any state school in Scotland where you can sit an advanced higher in S5on top of Highers.

Where are you?

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TheBuskersDog · 13/10/2013 22:59

Sorry, are you seriously expecting those of us outside of Scotland to feel sorry for Scottish students who choose to study at non Scottish universities, and therefore have to pay fees -just like our children have to.

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IHaveA · 13/10/2013 23:12

Ermm, sorry but I can't feel too sympathetic Blush. We all pay the same taxes but Scottish and Welsh students don't have to pay the same as English students to go to university. I just can't get my mind around how ridiculous and how unfair it is.
I will have three DCs at Uni at the same time with my 4 DC following close behind. One is doing a 5 year course and 2 are doing a 4 year course. Assuming my 4th child also does a 4 year degree that totals 17 years worth of fees which is over £150,000. Shock Shock If we lived in Scotland they could go to Scottish Uni's and the total would be less than £31,000 Shock

It's a crazy politically motivated situation that I disagree with wholeheartedly. Angry

On a more positive note Smile your DD should be very pleased with herself. Are you sure she has looked into the Student loans properly. There is no financial reason that she couldn't go to Oxford if she wanted?

The terms are short so she can supplement her living expenses by working during the holidays. They get 14 or 15 (I think) weeks off during the summer.

Scottish students are further advantaged over English students by getting their results earlier. This means they can prepare for clearing etc ahead of the pack.

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kaumana · 13/10/2013 23:15

Hang on peeps! Before we get our panties in a knot. I would like an answer to where this oasis of education is where they let you do an AH in S5?!

Clem - care to answer?

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BackforGood · 13/10/2013 23:28

Agree with everyone else.
How lucky you are to not have to pay the same fees English students have to.

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BeckAndCall · 14/10/2013 09:16

Ridiculous post. Try having 3 English kids you want to put through university. And quite frankly even then it's a first world problem ( but its MY first world problem). Get some perspective.

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extracrunchy · 14/10/2013 09:18

Wow.

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beansmum · 14/10/2013 09:27

Some people will think she's not as good as those who go to oxbridge. Most people will realise that there are more than 2 universities in the UK and lots of them are great.

Or maybe she could do postgrad at oxford? There might be money in physics for grants etc?

Or maybe you could just be proud of her for doing so well?

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antimatter · 14/10/2013 10:26

or you can go to your political leaders and lobby them to amend Scottish law so that your kids will get those fees paid from taxpayers pockets

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UptheChimney · 14/10/2013 13:43

There are many universities as good as Oxford or Cambridge. The Scottish universities have an extraordinary heritage and tradition in the sciences, because they weren't t up just to train clergy, as Oxford and Cambridge were.

But really, why are YOU disappointed? Vicarious status perhaps? It's not a good mindset to have as you go into this process.

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RawCoconutMacaroon · 14/10/2013 14:01

My Scottish state school educated Dc is currently at Oxford, and of course pays fees which he wouldn't have if he'd gone to a Scottish uni... That's just the way it is, English unis charge fees to all students. They don't discriminate against Scottish applicants or Scottish qualifications, and a lot of subjects have their own entrance exams anyway.

You seem to be assuming your DD would have been offered a place if she'd applied - but of course most who apply don't get an offer, and the ALL have the exam grades you describe- it is exceptionally competitive.

St Andrews is fabulous but be aware that Physics is very difficult to get into there, possibly as difficult as an Oxbridge application so good PS essential.

If St Andrews is going to be her 1st choice I'd make sure that her ps is angled a bit towards the particular course path she'd follow there (with out making that too obvious to her other uni choices!).

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RawCoconutMacaroon · 14/10/2013 14:09

Kaumana, my DS was able to do "off column" extra subjects in both 5th and 6th year, a few kids do it every year at that (state) school. It require the child to be very very interested in the subject and be a self learner.

I assume the same is the case at the OP school. Lol, maybe it's the SAME school!

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RawCoconutMacaroon · 14/10/2013 14:18

Ihavea, Scottish students are not at an advantage in clearing. Firstly, most are applying to university at the start of 6th year, using the Higher results already achieved, so no clearing for them...

Secondly, if a Scottish student applies in 4th year (before they sit their Highers), or in 6th year (if they have done additional exams needed for their application), and they miss their university offer, they can't enter clearing - for almost all courses, there are not ANY clearing places available to Scottish students at Scottish universities. This is because there is a cap on the number of places at Scottish universities that are allowed to be offered to Scottish/eu students. This August there were thousands of clearing places available at Scottish unis, but they were only available to Rest of UK and international students!

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fairisleknitter · 14/10/2013 14:20

I feel more sorry for English students paying full fees at Scottish Universities when other EU students don't have too.

(Or have I misunderstood that bit?)

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AMumInScotland · 14/10/2013 14:29

Where exactly is this parallel universe where Oxford and Cambridge are the only acceptable universities to go to and anything else is just 'slumming it'?

I mean St Andrews FFS! It is full of rich English students if you hope she's going to meet those. And if she actually wants a good academic education, then she will do no worse, not in the teeniest tiniest little bit, by not going to Oxbridge.

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RawCoconutMacaroon · 14/10/2013 14:31

Just to clarify- "Free" Scottish fees are paid for by the Scottish taxpayer, not by people living elsewhere in the uk.

Eu students also get their fees paid as the eu insists that other countries get the same deal as "home" students.

But the eu says its ok to charge fees to students from different countries within the uk.

This is actually not a good thing for Scottish students, as the numbers cap (to keep costs down) is making it harder for Scottish students to get places at Scottish unis.

Unless the the law around the funding of eu students change, I think Scottish students will be paying fees too before long.

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AMumInScotland · 14/10/2013 14:31

Oh and the fees thing. I know it is a pain, and I do feel for you. But you have to understand the problem came in because England moved the goalposts and did away with grants for fees. Scotland did not cause this problem. They just didn't copy England in being shitty to students who are based there.

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