Going to send this to my college lecturer- would he chew it up and spit it at me?

[dappledownfarmnamechanger]

Dear lecturer,

I am getting quite over -whelmed for these reasons,

I work all day Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday & Friday all day, I also work Wednesday mornings until 12, when I am in college for the rest of the afternoon and Tuesday evenings.

When we (teachers) were on the school placement, on top of a full week at the school, I had to fit my working hours in to the week by working evenings and all through the weekend, I am finding that, because I now have not had one free day since the start of this term, I am starting to struggle, there is no way I can take time off work because I wouldn't be able to afford it.

During half term I have to continue to work full-time. As a result of the unrelenting pressure, this term, I have started to feel quite run-down and ill.

Would it be possible to spend tomorrow morning and Wednesday afternoon's lesson, productively catching up and getting things in order, or would I do myself a dis-service if I don't come in?

Sorry to land this garbled message on you but as I hope you appreciate, I'd rather speak up when things are starting to get on top of me rather than wait until further down the track.

Regards,
Dappledownfarmnamechanger

[diedandgonetodevon]

It is rather a garbled message. Can you not speak to your tutor in person or on the 'phone instead?

[youngermother1]

Avoid working 2 Fridays a week - seriously, I think you have a high temperature, feeling sick, probably vomited twice already this evening, Don't want to infect everyone else, so will stay at home in bed.

[dappledownfarmnamechanger]

It is isn't it, he's a difficult character to approach- sees us all as statistics puts us all in boxes, Im just trying to appeal to his human side
Really think I can get back on top if I just don't go in this week.

[dappledownfarmnamechanger]

Avoid working 2 Fridays a week - seriously, I think you have a high temperature, feeling sick, probably vomited twice already this evening, Don't want to infect everyone else, so will stay at home in bed.

[loubielou31]

You are allowed to be ill, I'd just send him an email / phonecall informing him of your illness and apologising for not being able to come in this week but that you're sure you'll be feeling much better soon. (hideous 24hr bug that I had two weeks ago would do the job).

[cricketballs]

I wouldn't send it - it sounds like you have taken too much on and you are blaming him rather than just saying you are not well.....however, if you need to not go to lectures in order to catch-up, you are just creating a situation where you take time off to catch-up, miss more work and therefore need to catch up on this missed work, therefore take more time off to catch up etc.

[outofbodyexperience]

have you already got a career development loan?

i'd take a sickie and look at your finances thoroughly so that you can work out how on earth you can cut back on your hours so that you can put the necessary time in on the course you have chosen to do.

otherwise, you will end up like me.

and you really really don't want that.

this is your warning sign. you are choosing to let the course slip. with your schedule, this won't be the only time you have to do it. do you want to do the best you can on the course? there must have been a reason to start it.

take a sickie and look at your schedule and try to get something more sensible sorted.

is this your final year?

do you have kids as well?

[starystar]

I concur with the others. With things like lectures, in my experience many lecturers don't care a lot whether you go to them or not, however it is in your best interest to go. As my lecturer said, ' they aren't compulsory however you are strongly encouraged to attend'. Often, contact hours are invaluable and you don't want to fall down the route where you miss one and then miss many causing more work to catch up on.

Are you able to apply for any loans to help you out?

[dappledownfarmnamechanger]

Yes it is sliding but its not too late, I have only missed one deadline.
Today my friend mailed me to tell me there was a Biology exam on this afternoon, so I assessed the options and went in for it, bumped into my morning lecturer (the one I sent the email to)
He just responded to my email with Ok

He was really shirty with me (fair enough) he said why are you here now? I said I had just found out there was a test on and I didnt want to make myself more behind, he laughed in my face I am 30 years old

I then asked him why I hadn't been informed about the university open day tomorrow to which the smug idiot rplied, 'you are an adult it's your responsibility to decide if you want to go or not'
I said no one has told me it was on, he then just stormed off.
Oh this is such a mess now he doesn't trust me doesn't respect me, has no faith in my abilities and as hes my tutor I cant ask him ANYTHING crap day at office.

[outofbodyexperience]

i think that's the thing - the difference between fe and school is really that you are responsible for your own study and life - so you really do have to do it all yourself. so you can make a decision about whether to attend or not. but you can also check on the website or look out for e-mails and noticeboards that tell you what else is going on. like open days if you are intending to apply there for next year.

a lecturer really isn't going to know if you intend to apply here, there or anywhere for a course next year, but presumably you have a plan, and were looking out for it? why are you attending an open day if you know what course you are applying for and you already attend the college anyway? (i might have missed something...)

last para overly dramatic. as an adult that currently holding down a job and studying, of course you can speak to him again. he's a lecturer, not king of all the world.

gussy yourself up, book an appointment, get it together and go in and explain yourself. tell him you are really struggling and ask if he has any advice. don't be such a wuss. he's seen it all before. and you will need him if you start falling further behind. get him back on side now.

i'm 41. i was well over 30 when i sobbed all over my tutors desk. poor woman didn't know where to put herself.

[funnyperson]

I have a slightly different take on this:

presumably you are doing the teacher training or whatever your course is because that is your chosen longer term goal.

so you need to finish it, do well, get a good reference for being consistently good and so on.

so it is a priority.

after keeping yourself housed clothed and fed.

I think you should look very carefully at your budget, tighten your belt for a year (or however long it is) and go and meet the people who employ you and cut down your hours of employment. Otherwise you simply aren't going to make it to the end of this course.

Your tutor needs to know you are serious about his course. He can't make your financial decisions for you. He might be able to stretch deadlines once or so but not for the whole time.

[Dustinthewind]

Why didn't you know about the University Open Day? Did you check the website, or your college's VLE? Information like that is usually posted on there so students can check.
Same for the Biology test, you shouldn't need to rely on your friend telling you.
These are the same sots of conversations I'm having with my DS who is in his first year at 6th form after leaving school. They expect a lot more independence.

[Dustinthewind]

Well, at least he didn't chew up your email and spit it back at you. He's clearly giving you the message that what happens is up to you.