haven't worked for years and I'm absolutely terrified about returning

[workworkwork]

there is a possibility that my old job is up for grabs and I have been asked if I want it. I haven't worked for over 4 years and I have loved every minute at home with the kids. It's been hard work but as my dh has a very demanding job, it has been easier on us all as a family to have one parent at home.

The problem is this situation cannot continue for ever. Financially, we need my income and also, from a professional point of view, I need to return otherwise my qualifications will be too out of date (I don't want to give away my job but it requires articles, exams and lots of continuing education).

The problem is two fold - first of all, I am absolutely terrified to go back to work - I'm worried I won't cope especially with being told what to do as I haven't had that for years and secondly, I'm worried about the impact it will have on our marriage. Last time I worked, dh drove me mad because he did not pull his weight at home, was zero help with the childcare and generally was a right pain in the ass. If he was like that again, I don't know what I would do. I asked him about it and he seemed to think that the last time I worked, everything was fine!

I know I'm going to have to accept (there's no way I could get another job that would pay as well and we need the money to cover the cost of a nanny) but I am filled with dread as to how it will change our life as a family

[Twiglett]

could you see if you could job-share it? go part-time

I think I'd feel the same (haven't worked since 2002)

[workworkwork]

I wouldn't be able to go back part time - I would have to start full time and the idea is that I would do my old job for say 6 -12 months and then transfer into another department where I wouldn't necessarily be part time but the hours would be more flexible.

There are other jobs out there that are part time but they don't pay enough and to be honest, I really don't think I would come across very well in an interview. I need some work under my belt before I had the confidence to go for interviews (if you see what I mean). Taking my old job back is the easy way out because my old boss is there so I (hopefully) wouldn't be subjected to the same process as everyone else.

I know, reading back my first post, that there is no solution to my problem! I guess I'm a bit pissed off that dh doesn't really understand why the thought of going back frightens me so much because he's never had to stop working for any length of time. But it's good to know that you would feel the same because I was beginning to feel like there was something wrong with me.