Bored and guilty at home

[dragonstitcher]

I'm bored of staying at home all day on my own. I love the peace and quiet on a Monday after a hectic, noisy weekend, but the bordom soon sets in. I also feel guilty because I don't have anyone to stay at home for because my kids are all at school. I do work but it is in the evenings. I do 9 hours a week (3 evenings, 3 hours per evening).

If I found a day job, I would have to earn at least £70 a week to offset the loss of child tax credit that I get and it would have to be part time in school hours and local. I would have to be able to carry on with my current evening job.

I can't seem to find a job that offers all of this.

[LittleB]

If you don't need the money and would just like something to do why not do some voluntary work? There are loads of opportunities for volunteering, I work for a district council and we have volunteers who do conservation work outdoors with us, and they have volunteers at the museums, my mum used to help at a school, listening to children reading, and my dad helped drive the school minibus when he was between work. Charity shops always need help, lots of organisations need admin help etc some of the staff at my loacl community swimming pool are volunteers and get free swims for helping out. the best thing is you can choose how much time you give and when, you'll have something to do, you may gin free swims etc, or just meet new people have new experiences and give something back to your community! Sorry I'm all for volunteering-don't have time to do much now as dd is 2 and I work part time but will start again when dd is older.

[Furzella]

Dragonstitcher, I'm relatively new on mumsnet and don't know your personal circumstances, but would it be possible to view your first day job as a sort of investment for your family, where in the short term you might not offset the loss of child tax credit, but over time you would be able to get more qualified / build up experience to get a better paid job? It may of course not be possible financially, but often I think it is so important for the all round psychological wellbeing of a family not to have a bored depressed mum who feels tied into staying at home. I know I would become really unhappy if I were in the domestic setting full time. I'm pretty sure I'd do my job even if the financial benefit were negligible.

[rebelmum1]

I personally wouldn't get a job if I was bored. I would do something I would be sure to enjoy, if it's time you want to kill why don't you:

Find an active pursuit - walking, cycling
start a course
learn a language
do voluntary work as mentioned
start a hobby or project such as:
write a book
learn to sew
paint
learn about gardening
be creative
raise money for charity
get involved with your local community
join a gym
the list is endless the whole world is open to you

[rebelmum1]

crumbs that's a lot of tax credit I'm going to stop working now!

[mamijacacalys]

Agree with Furzella.
I would have to work, purely for my own sake, even if we could survive without my income. (Work 24 hrs per week BTW, but plan to go full time when the kids are older).
But everyone's different in terms of what they can deal within their family circumstances, so would do what's best for you.
HTH

[dragonstitcher]

I thought this board was for support and advice. I came here for support and advice, not to have to piss taken out of me.

I DO need the money.

I have thought of voluntary work, but would rather have a paying job.

I have plenty to do at home, I have hobbies and I CAN sew.

I may not have a lot of money, but at least I have manners.

[Furzella]

Dragonstitcher, I'm really sorry if you thought I was being rude. It was unintentional.

[doyouwantfrieswiththat]

if you can sew, how about doing clothes alterations for people...or some such malarkey ...

[dragonstitcher]

Yeah, been there, done that... Tis difficult getting known, and then people tend to want silk purses made out of sows ears for next to nothing.

[krabbiepatty]

Who was rude? who took the piss?

[anniebear]

I thought some really good advice was given

No one was rude

My 2 are at school now and I do get bored

I started selling Usborne Books, so I can stil be there before and after school and in the holidays

to be honest I don't do very much but I have friends that do and make some good money from it

[LittleB]

I hope you didn't think I was taking the piss (I don't think anyone else was either), I was just trying to offer advice, your title said you were bored and guilty and I thought voluntary work would help both. I hope these other suggestions don't upset you, I thought I was being polite, if you need paid work have you considered becoming a teaching assistant or tried local authorities and others who offer flexible working or term time working patterns? Some shops also have flexible working patterns, alot of the part time mums I know work in supermarkets, but you don't state your experience, qualifications or current job so its hard for us to guess what might suit you.

[EscapeFrom]

rebelmum1, you only get a high level of tax credit if your partner is on a low income or if you are a single parent, so maybe not a good idea to assume you would get it.

[dragonstitcher]

Sorry, most of the replies were well intentioned. It was rebelmums attitude that got to me. I have also got the impression from other forums on MN that the general MN opinion is that if you get financial help of any kind, you are a waster. I have been told that we should both try to find better jobs.

DH is 59 (21 years my senior) and an aircraft welder. He has worked for the same company for 35 years but not tried to allevate his position or salary. I don't think that he has the confidence to. With retirement only 6 years away, it is a bit too late for him to consider finding a better paid job.

I work part time as I have already said. Woolworths won't increase anyones hours but finding affordable childcare after school and during holiday time would be a problem anyway. There is a after school/holiday club locally but it is pretty rough.

[nailpolish]

hi dragonstitcher

i also have problems with childcare out of school hours, i got round this by working nightshift

after the school holidays dd1 starts school and dd2 will be going to nursery 2 days a wk

on these days i will be working the night before (iyswim) and i will sleep til 2pm, get up and collect dd1 from school etc

could that work for you?