The Real Story tonight 9pm BBC1: Nurseries

[Carameli]

Just thought others would like to know about this programme tonight that has done an undercover investigation into standards in nursery care.

have a look at the bbc website for more details.
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/real_story/3556604.stm

[Uhu]

Hello everbody. This is the first time I have posted on mumsnet and after watching this programme, I felt that I had to say something. I am the mother of twin boys, age 51/2 months and they will be going to nursery in October for 3 days a week. This programme has caused me to review my decision and my dh and I believe it is the right one for our family. I would be interested to hear your views on this programme, particularly if it will cause you to change the childcare provisions that you are currrently using.

I think it is so important that one remains rational and objective when confronted with issues raised in programmes like this. One must remember that there are good as well as bad nurseries. The nursery I have chosen for my 2 DS is one with which I felt really comfortable. I liked the staff, I observed the children whilst I was there and they appeared contented as well as carefree. The older children were really intrigued by the twins and gathered round to look at them. It was such a happy and friendly atmosphere.

Since becoming a mother, I've noticed how the media likes to make mothers feel guilty about staying at home or going back to work. Mothers can't win and for that reason, I will do what is best for me and my family and I have no intention of justifying our decision to anyone .

[MeanBean]

Hi Uhu
Good for you.
There are 2 other threads on this subject, one under Other Subjects and one under Chat. Why don't you have a look at them? (It will take a while!!!)

[Pam70]

I use anursery myself for DS (3 yrs) and he's been going since he was 4 months. It's hard to know if you've made the right decision because at the end of the day, you know no one will do as good a job of it as yourself or if you're really lucky, your mother!

The flip side to using a nursery is either a childminder or a nanny, I discounted both options because I felt I didn't want to leave my child with just one carer who would have a long exhausting day with one or more children (in childminder's case) and there wouldn't be a fresh pair of hands to takeover.

The nursery DS is in has the staff coming in on shifts - some do the early shift and some do the later shift. I liked this because it meant the staff coming in on the later shift were fresher and not as tired or irritable.

While the BBC was able to take a hidden camera into a nursery environment, what happens at the childminders? What secret cameras are in there? Ditto with a nanny (unless you were installing secret cameras in your own home to monitor what was going on!

I'm resigned to parenting by guilt at this stage - it's a side effect of motherhood! Just do what's best and most comfortable for yourself and as long as you can live with it, it shouldn't matter what anyone else is saying.

[juniper68]

Uhu did you notice they didn't show the good nursery or even mention the name? They do dwell on the negative a lot in these programmes. That said I was very emotional watching it and am haunted by Zak but we all know there are kids that are treated much much worse by their own flesh and blood
What scared me was the way the manager lied to the 'mum' who asked all those questions.
None of us are perfect advocates for our children and live with guilt, it comes with the territory. I'm a sahm by choice and try my best but don't think my children would have come to any harm had I had to go back to work and they'd have gone to a good nursery or a good childminder. I totally agree regarding childminders as I've heard some horror stories from toddler groups that friends have witnessed but none of these friends reported it though?

[edam]

Juniper, I mentioned on another thread that there are good reasons why the other nursery wasn't featured. Not least legal reasons; being shown in the context of that progamme might have damaged their reputation. On the other hand, they might have been deluged by applications they couldn't handle. And the BBC couldn't be seen to 'favour' one nursery.

[Uhu]

Thank you all for your comments. The "Have your say" section on the BBC website also has comments about this programme and it has certainly ignited people's emotions. It is interesting to see others opinions on working parents and those that choose to stay at home. Before I became a mother, I always favoured the going back to work route.

Now that I am a mother, I realise that I did not take into account the emotional part of the decision making process. I am so attached to my 2 DS and I know that I will find it difficult to leave them at the nursery. I also know in my heart that I want to continue with my career as a research scientist, albeit at a slower pace. I just wish people would respect parents decision on choosing what is best for them and stop being so judgemental .

If there is one thing that I have learnt over the last 5 months is that being a parent is not easy. Ultimately, most parents want to do the best that they can and what is right or normal for one family, may not suit another family.

[juniper68]

Yes I read that edam. Maybe the nursery didn't want to be named then? I just thought it would help dispel the worry for the mums who use nurseries that's all. I know I'd be worrying even if I knew the one I used was ok, there's always that nagging doubt.