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DS bitten at nursery

19 replies

Beccarollover · 19/07/2004 02:07

My little DS (10 months old) was bitten at nursery today TWICE - I understand that kids do bite and it happens alot but a couple of things have made me worry a little.

He has two bite marks - where the teeth have left marks on his skin and the area is bruised - Im a little concerned that he was unattended long enough to be bitten twice - I can only imagine he screamed the first time how did the child not get pulled straight off?

Also they said that it was an older child - I think if the babies are mixing in with the older children they should be very vigilant around such little ones as the older ones are bound to be rowdier.

What do you think? I'm aware that I may not be rational as it was just horrible to think of the chubby little happy man getting hurt like that already.

OP posts:

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bunnyrabbit · 14/07/2004 10:16

Agree with Chandra on this one.

DS was bitten at nursery about a month ago by an older baby. My only problem with it was that they new the child was a 'biter' and he managed to bite DS before they could stop him, although they did try and only just didn't get to him in time. But as Chandra quite rightly says, they're damn fast these little people....

Give him hugs cos it'll make you feel better!!!

BR

bunnyrabbit · 14/07/2004 10:18

tut 'knew the child.. '

Beccarollover · 14/07/2004 13:54

Yeah, your all right - I dont have a problem with the biting (apart from wishing it didnt happen) but I know it does and my own kids will Im sure be the biters one day - the only thing concerning me was the two bites as the staff ratios at this nursery concern me sometimes anyway

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jimmychoos · 14/07/2004 14:05

Becca - I think I'd want to know how the nursery handled the other child and what steps they have put in place to try and protect your ds. My son has bitten and been bitten at nursery, but they always explain how it happened, how they have dealt with the biting child and what they have said to the parents. I think it needs to be put in context for you to feel more comforatble about it.
Agree it happens very qucikly when it does happen tho

Jimjams · 15/07/2004 10:28

My son went through a pinching phase and even though he had full time one to one support they were unable to stop him pinching other children 6 times in 2 sessions. He was very fast. I've never been able to stop him pinching me.

The only thing the nursery said was that if he had been singling out a particular child they would have seperated them. (he wasn't).

twiglett · 19/07/2004 02:09

message withdrawn

dinny · 19/07/2004 02:10

Your poor ds, Beccarollover. I think I'd be like you and worried as to how he was bitten TWICE and by an older child. Were you 100% happy with the nursery before this?

Chandra · 19/07/2004 02:32

Bites happen, DS came one day with an arch of teeth printed in his hand (he is still at the baby room), the report said he "was having a disagreement about a toy with another child". I didn't worry me and I continue to like the nursery because in general he is very happy in it, the incident has not been repeated. Children are very fast and, as you may have already noted at home, you just need to blink before they get into something. If the bitings were hapening over several days I will ask the nursery if the parents of theofending child are aware of the problem and would ask the nursery what are they are doing to prevent this child from biting. But only if the incident were very regular.

I believe that having our little ones hurt by other children can make us very angry, but sadly these incidents also have also positive side, they are learning experiences, a friend of mine's baby was bitten once at a playgroup, next time the biting boy came near to her she took a toy to defend herself and screamed at him to keep him away, she was less than a year, so I guess is about learning about life not that we would like that but well, that's life.

Beccarollover · 19/07/2004 20:22

He was bitten again today !

Still no cause for concern?

Dp dropped him off this morning and there were about 13 in the room with just two staff - Im concerned the ratios arent being kept to which is why he has been bitten 3 times in a week.

Im fine with general kids biting antics just cant help thinking its because he isnt being watched properly.

Again this was by an older child - not sure if same one as last time as they arent allowed to say - its quite a big mouth print and a full set of teeth so presuming its one of the toddlers.

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SoupDragon · 19/07/2004 20:29

Whilst they can't tell you which child bit him, can they say if it was the same one each time? I think, by this stage, I'd be fuming and ready for a fight.

pupuce · 19/07/2004 20:45

When DS was 21 months old he had a biting episode... he WAS the biter (he had been bitten before too)...... he bit for a week but I can reassure everyone he hasn't bitten since...... it is a phase... very very annoying for the victim and embarassaing for the culprit's mum too

Beccarollover · 19/07/2004 20:51

Pupuce - Im really aware of not sounding like I think biters are terrible - I completely understand that kids bite and go through phases - Im sure DS will go on to bite...

The thing Im not 100% about is if the staff are doing all they can to protect my baby from bites IYSWIM

Hopefully 3 times in a week is just a coincidence and it stops now.

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Chandra · 19/07/2004 20:58

What has happened in this thread???? I can swear that I was in bed at 2:00 am today!

Or maybe I am sleep walking to the computer to continue posting in Mumsnet?

Anyways Becarrollover after three bites in such a short time you have acquired the right to a full blown display of mummy anger at the nursery! mmmh... no, but I think you really need to ask what is going on, specially about what do the nursery do to stop children biting each other and how is it that sometimes the children-nurse ratio is not respected.

bunnyrabbit · 20/07/2004 12:16

Defintiely agree with Chandra on this one. THis is not good enough. They have a known biter who is a toddler and therefore mobile and a baby who has now been bitten 3 times.

You need to know:
Is it just H that is being singled out or does the toddler bite other children?
Exactly what they are doing to keep this toddler away from the babies?
What has been said to the parents of the biter?

I would also expect a full blown apology frot he nursry manager.

You need to go in and see them and ensure that they are taling this very seriously indeed!!!!

BR
PS Another jumbled up thread!! Looks like I started it...

bunnyrabbit · 20/07/2004 12:17

Sorry about the typos.. very cross when I read that H had been bitten again.

Beccarollover · 20/07/2004 12:32

It doesnt help with the mother guilt either - I'm half tempted to give up work and look after him as I know then I would protect him but thats not really rational!

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Jimjams · 20/07/2004 17:15

Would be concerned about the staff ratio- and would question it- but higher staff ratios won't prevent biting. My son had full time one to one when pinching- he still got 6 children in one week.

However if your baby is being singled out you could ask for the 2 children to be separated. (it may be that lots of children are being bitten).

Beccarollover · 20/07/2004 21:19

DP had a word with the manager yesterday about the ratios - today when I arrived DS's keyworker thanked me for saying something as she says when they say something it falls on deaf ears and now management have been complained to by a parent they may sort it - apparently this week they have had problems with staff sickness.

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bunnyrabbit · 21/07/2004 12:44

Becca,
Did you ask the questions?

BR

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