Working parents - how do you cope with the mornings?

[HaHaBizarre]

I'm hoping to get a job when DD1 starts school this September. DH leaves the house at 7:15am every morning. He has no choice about that.

I'm worrying about having to get me ready for work and 2 children ready for school/child-minder all by myself.

Will I even find a job that starts at 9:30am? Will it be easier to find a job that starts early so I drop the childrne off at a childminder and they deal with the breakfast stuff and getting them to school?

What time do you start work? What are your morning arrangements?

[Nikki76]

I'm due to go back to work in May and I'm wondering about the morning stuff also!! I think DH will be taking DS to nursery as my work keeps moving offices so its better for it to be close to DH so I'm going for the 9.30am start.....will have to be up and ready before DS wakes up so that can just focus on him and not myself....don't you pay more if they give them breakfast??

Also, a lot of the mums in my place start at 9.30am and finish early to take into consideration the childminding arrangements and a lot of places are quite flexible with that these days as long as you state your preferences before you start as hard to change hours after contract sorted etc....

[twelveyeargap]

I tried to get (secretarial) work around school hours and found it really hard. Plus the pay of jobs that were advertised, was frankly, derisory. They penalised you for the good hours.

My usual thing (as a single parent with one child both when she was a baby and of school age) was that I got EVERYTHING ready the night before so I just had to dress DD and I. When she was minded further from home and nearer to my work then I fed her in the morning. I found it easier to have a CM close to home so I could just dress her and let CM give breakfast.

The main thing was to train her from an early age how to dress herself in the mornings and get on with things.

She's been getting herself up and dressed from about age 6 and getting herself to and from school unsupervised from age 9. Some people think that's too young. It saved my career though!

[Clary]

Ahh now you've asked....

Well: We both work 4 days/wk. It's more complicated atm as DS2 (3) is at nursery school in the opposite direction from school that DS1 and DD go to.
We do different things, but basically I start early some days, on those days DH drops DS2 at c/minder early (she's near nursery) and then walks DS1 and DD to school, then drives to work, gets in 9.30. On other days I start later as well and I will do either school or nursery drop-off. We also have a walking bus one day a week so DH has easier time of it then, drops older 2 on walking bus then off to nursery with DS2.

We have been able to negotiate later starts - I get my hours in by starting early 2 days/wk. Flexible c/minder also very useful. Getting ready is no problem as all ae early risers, eg all well on with breakfast when I left this am at 7.10. Clothes laid out for them night before (DS1 gets his own out now). All book bags/library books/football kit etc ready night before. If need be have races to get dressed, star chart for first to get shoes on etc.

9.30am starts are hard to find; is there a breakfast club or a nice neigbour who will do some drop offs for you? I would happily have (and have, on an ad hoc basis) other children in the am say from 8.15, it's only 20 mins to entertain them. Then you return the favour another day.
HTH

[HaHaBizarre]

DD1 is very good at getting herself dressed. Perhaps we have too much time in the mornings. I find if I get DDs ready too early, however, they end up a mess again by the time we leave the house.

[Bozza]

Our current system is this:

I get up in the morning and get ready for 7am when the DCs get up. I get them washed and dressed for 7.20am and go to work. DH gives them breakfast, does teeth, lets them play and takes 2yo DD to nursery and 6yo DS to childminder for 8am. Because I get to work at 8am, I can leave at 4.30, and collect DS and DD from childminder and nursery, take them home, and get a meal on the table for between 5.45 and 6 (warm up something made another day).

Previously the children had breakfast before getting dressed, and I got ready while they were breakfasting with DH. Then got them ready and left for work at 7.40, but now that DS (Y1) has readings/spellings etc we were short of time in the evenings.

If DH is working away it all goes pearshaped - and we have to juggle, I take short lunches etc. It is 3 days a week.

[taylormama]

me and DH both work fulltime and i have to travel around 20 miles to get to my office (unless i am working from home). I also negotiated flexi-time with my employer ...
Basically i get everything ready the night before for me and baby (he is 9 months) - DH is the worst in the mornings for not having anything ready but i reckon he is old enough to pack his own bag. I jump in the shower and get dressed ready for 6.30 am when DS gets up - i give him his bottle and DH gets showered and dressed. We leave the house at 7.25 am ... i usually get to work by 8.45 am (M25 permitting!)

[puddle]

We are all out of the house by 7.45 three days a week. Th kids go to a childminder who takes them to school and nursery.

The early starts are completely do-able if you get everything ready the night before. My two have breakfast at home, but we all have to be up by 6.45, they get their clothes on before they come down. All bags etc are packed and ready to go.

I get up earlier than the kids so I am mostly ready wen they come downstairs, just have five minutes to do make up before we leave the house!

[Bozza]

DS always dresses himself - I check his uniform the night before and he gets himself clean socks and pants out. DD (2) dresses herself on non-work days but when I am working she has only just woken up and we are short of time so I do most of it. I also make sure we have chosen her clothes and clips/bobbles the night before because this can take some time - she very much has her own mind on this subject.

[Clary]

bozz lol at choosing clips and bobbles the night before!

I know where you're coming from

[Bozza]

Experience has taught me the necessity of this one I am afraid. DS sometimes has to have a Mr Man book wrestled from his grasp but is fairly amenable about what to wear.

[Eleusis]

I would definately go for an early start and have someone else do the breakfast (childminder, au pair, neighbor, etc.).

[Clary]

hurrah for school uniform and the necessity (invented by me ) of reed co-ordinating bobbles.

[Clary]

red even

[northerner]

My dh leaves the house at 7.15am every morning too. I have 1 ds aged 4, he's in reception.

I get up at 7am ish, and get ds up. We have breakfast and I make his packed lunch. We showere and dress, sometimes he needs hurrying along, other days not. We leave for school at 8.35am, I drop him off then leave for work. I'm supposed to start at 9am but I get in the office at 9.10am ish, but I'm very lucky as we have a relaxed start time here and I'm often in before my single, childless collegaues!

[Bozza]

Clary I think we will be following your rule once DD starts reception. Might even have a seperate container for school clips/bobbles.

[OrmIrian]

How flexible will your employer be? If they are prepared to overlook the odd few minutes late in the mornings it's not a problem. Then stay a bit later and perhaps use half and hour or an after school club? I am usually a few minutes late for work and I leave a few minutes early to get to school on time but I can make up the time from home. I only work school hours although I was full-time for years. Used to be worse when my eldest wouldn't let me leave him before the bell rang (and bawled his eyes out and clung to me until half way through yr2) and I had to take the youngest 2 to the CM first - that used to be a real rush!

Get everything ready the night before. Get up early - I have got to the point when I naturally wake about 6 and have even started going for a run first thing (weirdo I hear you say ). My body clock has changed after 10 years of mothering and working.

Flexibility, organisation and a good alarm clock is the key .

[Bozza]

I think it is often not as bad as you expect. We always have a system in go (have been doing this for nearly 6 years) but over time it has to evolve. The latest change was to accommodate DS's homework and we decided that they could be trusted to have breakfast in their clothes - although DD wears a pelican bib.

[Clary]

Oh yes separate bobble baggy essential.

School clips that actaully stay in are surprisingly hard to find, but we now have a hairband with a zigzag edge that stays in well.

[kslatts]

I start work at 9am, but need to leave the house at 8am so that I can drop dd's off at cm and get to the station for the 8.30am train. I make sure all the uniforms are out ready, school bags packed, lunch prepared as much as possible and anything they need for after school is packed ready (brownie uniform, dancing things, etc) the night before, I also decide what I'm going to wear for work and leave it out ready. In the morning my routine is:

7am - Get up, have shower and get dressed
7.15am - wake dd's up give them breakfast (put my make-up on while they are eating breakfast)
7.30am - DD's have a wash a clean their teeth while I make the beds
7.45am - DD's get dressed while I pack lunchbox and put a load of washing on
8am - leave the house

I have breakfast when I get to work.

DH works shifts so if he is there in the morning he gets dd's ready and takes them to school.

[Bozza]

The thing is I do DD's hair all nicely in the morning but come 5.15 when I go to get her I am hunting round nursery for her hair clips and bobbles and her hair is stood on end.

[exbury]

My main comment would be not to kid yourself that you can get you and the DC ready at the same time, IYSWIM.

I take [time to get self ready for work] and [time to get DC out of the door] - add those together, add some contingency - that is how early you need to get up - and you will have to go to bed early!

It really helps if your pre-schooler can have breakfast at CM - only 1 child to hassle through breakfast. When I go back in a few weeks, I plan to get DD up at the last possible minute on the basis that she can eat (and if necc get dressed as well) at nursery.