Clingy baby going to nursery next week...help!

[sandj]

My dd is 6 mo and I go back to work next week 3 days - Mon to Wed (looking forward to it but feeling guilty as well). DD is with DH on Mondays and she will be going into nursery on Tues and Weds as we have no family about.

I am petrified (although trying not to show it cos I think she would pick up on it).

We took her in for a hour at a time for 2 separate days. The first - she screamed the whole time. The second was not so bad but still not a happy child (understatement!!).

Last week, I took her in for a half day for the first time and she cried most of the day. So much so that she did not take her feeds from them.

Does anyone have any words of comfort/wisdom etc? I don't like the thought of leaving her in that state, but I have to go back to work. What about her starving as well!?!?!

Help...

[worleygig]

hi sandj, my ds2 is 6 months and i started back at work monday this week, im also doing 3 days a week.
i left him mon and he wasnt happy at all, i rang twice to check on him and he had cried and cried, i could hear him in her arms crying too which did upset me. he had refused to eat his breakfats and dinner but took his expressed bf.
tuesday he had his breakfast at home and seemed happier, he didnt cry once that time although again he refused to eat any dinner but drank his milk. so friday im going to take my own food in for him and find out if its because he doesnt like his food or doesnt like being fed by his nursery lady.

i had also been looking forward to it and feeling guilty for doing so! but my ds2 went to nursery full time and he did brilliantly so i know it will be fine. it is heart breaking to leave them but it does get better. my ds1's old nursery camcorded him for me once i had gone so i could see that he was fine after i went, he just used to cry when i left him and as soon as i was out of sight he would literally stop and be happy again!! little bugger.

has your dd took her milk or is it solids she wont have?
she sounds the same as my ds!

[worleygig]

sorry imeant i will take in my homecooked food for him to eat there, and my ds1 went to nursery full time. when he left he could write his name and read quite well, and it has givem him a real boost at school.

[sandj]

Worleygig - glad to hear it worked out for you. Its nice to hear that it does actually happen

She took a small bit of her lunch from what I gather. I couldn't ask the lady that did it because she had finished by the time I came to get DD. But, when I came to get her at teatime as soon as I walked through the door, I could hear her from the other side of the nursery . When I pickd her up, she stopped instantly and I was able to give her the bottle. Needless to say she was not that interested in it, and found it much more interesting watching the other kids .

She is one of these babies that screams herself purple when picked up by anyone other than dh or myself, and stops as soon as I take her!

[sandj]

Forgot to say - As she is only 6 mths - I have to provide the food...

[worleygig]

i know about the crying, ds2 even does it to my dp when he has had enough of sitting with him. he stops the minute i put my arms out so we know hes a fraud!! we had a game we played on him (not nice i know) but i would walk past him and he would think i was going to pick him up and then when he realised i was walking the other direction again he would start up again. he also holds his breath when crying which is horrible. even my ds1 who is 8 looks up and tells him to breathe!

i do know how hard it is but after experience with ds1 i know it really really does get better. it just seems horrible now.

does your nursery write down how much shes had to eat or oz's shes drunk,or how many nappies shes had changed etc?

[sandj]

DD holds her breath too.. I hate it, although I have to admit, I am used to it, so I dont get as anxious as I used to. I think its funny that ds1 tells him to breath as well!

I dont think that the nursery actually writes anything down, but thats a good idea. She is due to go back into nursery on Fri for a half day again, so I'll ask them to do it then... thanks!

[FirstAtForty]

Hi Sandj
Sorry to hear you're having problems. My 6 month old DD has just gone into nursery 2 days a week, building up to 3 in Feb. It was very difficult to leave her, she does sometimes cry when I go but seems to settle afterwards, though she does have trouble napping when she's there.

Just wanted to say I think it's fairly normal practice for nurseries to provide a written report at the end of every day, including exactly how much was eaten and drunk, and also how many wet and dirty nappes there were. This helps you to know how much food and EBM to leave for them and whether they are following their normal patterns. My DD has her own exercise book that they fill in each day and send home with her.

They should also be happy to discuss in detail what your lo has done that day. If you don't feel that they are providing this information then it only makes it more difficult for you - so don't be afraid to ask, and if necessary find an alternative childcare solution. Good luck

[bugpurple]

Gosh - i am going back to work in 2 weeks also for 3 days and leaving my little boy in a nursery - how do we make it easier for ourselves?