Help for directionless SAHM who needs a career one day

[QueenChrysalis]

Apologies for the awful title.

My eldest has just started school and the panic that the countdown to finding a career has started. I have two years until my youngest starts which is when I want to get back to work.

My confidence is rock bottom and I'm trying to get my back sorted after surgery this summer. I was a civil servant but didn't get far as I found I was pregnant in my mid twenties and childcare in London meant returning was impossible. My experience is administrative with some programme management, PA type work and spreadsheet up keep. I took redundancy four years ago while on maternity.

I feel like a jack of all trades and could do most things but whether I'd enjoy them is another matter. I know customer service is out as I struggle being a people person. I probably won't get well enough for a physical job either. I've done voluntary work and had a couple of bad experiences, knocking my confidence even more. But I've done enough to keep my (basic) IT skills up and show I'm committed and vaguely competent. Some of this is working with kids and I could try secondary teaching with some home study to complete before a PGCE - I have degree in the subject I'd teach. But classroom management scares me. I've also done some accountancy exams but I worry this isn't going to be enjoyable as a career and opportunities are difficult to get. This is the same worry for another option, legal secretary/paralegal. It doesn't seem easy to get into with few advertised positions and 100s of applicants.

Are there any services which can help me figure this out? Are there any career options I'm not considering bit should and how realistic is finding work after a gap of five or six years?

[QueenChrysalis]

I should clarify that I am happy to retrain and have some time and money to do this, within reason.

[madamemuddle]

I would forget teaching if you're not a people person and behaviour management scares you! Read the teaching threads on here and you will see that it is not a soft option, you really have to be committed.

What's important to you? Do you really want to start a career or do you want something a bit more flexible so you can pick the kids up, etc?

You sound very negative about this/yourself. Stand up tall and smile. It sounds like you have lots of skills already and this is a really exciting time. Look forward with optimism. A great new job is just around the corner...

[QueenChrysalis]

I'm very low at the moment, confidence rock bottom and I'm even looking at voluntary work and thinking I won't get it. I will be getting general counselling which may take two years to work anyway and lots of £. I'm wondering if a career coach or career service is a good option. I feel very out of touch with the world of work.

The teaching is almost completely discounted, except the subject means it would be smaller classes in a private or grammar type school. I would never consider it otherwise as typical teaching sounds awful for me. I am helping to run a small youth group to build confidence in working with that age group but confidence would have to be sky high to consider the PGCE. I love the subject but passion is not enough. I have a couple of offers to shadow in schools if I want, to really see what it's like.

I'd like more than just a job but accept I'd probably have to start at the bottom and be local or part time initially just to get my foot in the employment door. Although I don't see why I shouldn't have a proper career in time and share the childcare with DH completely - out of the question in his current job apparently :|

I restarted my accounts study after posting. I had a lot of positivity about this last year and then stopped because I don't know if I will enjoy it or even get a job, going against 18 yr old school leavers with no responsibilities. Even the colleges treated me like a moron and I had to self study as I refused to pay to take the GCSE level qualification first. I enjoy learning, being a bit of an expert and the logical thinking.

If only I had a passion or dream career. I think I did once but some are very family unfriendly.

[madamemuddle]

It probably feels more daunting than it needs to be because you are thinking about this 'big career' and don't want to make a mistake/get it wrong. The beginning of the journey is often the hardest so don't be too hard on yourself.

Take small steps in the direction of all the things you are interested in. Go and volunteer at the school, continue studying, get some work experience in another area, etc. Try lots of things and see what you enjoy/are good at.

I've thought about this a lot and talked to a lot of people and I can honestly say that the vast majority of people do not really enjoy their jobs! It's a bit depressing but I think working on your life as a whole is a far better way forward.

What about the NHS? Lots of opportunities to start at the bottom and work your way up. They are very good with training.

[ZenNudist]

Accountancy can be family friendly and in demand. It also pays well if you progress. You don't need to be young in the game as a bit of experience (in life) sits well when you have financial responsibility.

What type of accountancy work and which qualification are you doing?

It plays well on your cv that you've had a longer term interest in it.

It's not 'dream career' stuff but it is a practical choice and no more dull than other office jobs. It depends what you enjoy.

[QueenChrysalis]

The idea that people mostly hate their jobs is depressing but true I know. I am in the position I can take time and invest in myself so settling for just anything would be a shame. But I've got to be realistic and practical. My husband is doing his chosen career but often hates it due to office politics, something I also found difficult - I want to be good in my job not good at back stabbing and sucking up to the bosses :(

My sister, against the odds, has her dream job and it sounds like an arts environment is less political. This would mean a admin type job for the sake of it or going to do an MA in museum work. But this is extremely competitive.

I'm not sure about going back to the public sector unless I specialised - law/accounts etc. The morale is low and there is so much political stuff, bureaucracy and people who are useless but they can't sack. I imagine there will be more cuts too. The NHS admin has driven me insane as a patient. Although I was tempted to consider medical school after learning so much about my own condition, but it's not worth paying out £50k plus and not seeing the kids much.

Accountancy appeals because it's logical and analytical, I've worked with data before and have always been good with managing money. I'm in the middle of the L3 AAT which is reasonably basic. It's all been self study but I may do the L4 in college next year for the social aspect and for contacts. Bookkeeping isn't appealing but I wouldn't mind looking into tax planning, financial advising or even management accounting - forecasting and strategic stuff. I wouldn't want to go further in self study without securing a job as I suspect I could become over qualified and under experienced. But looking at jobs there does seem to be a huge amount of applicants per role and they pay peanuts.

Thanks for the responses. I do need to get the positivity back. I also have bad social anxiety so the idea of asking for work experience or networking is terrifying. Ridiculous when my past jobs have been so high profile and involved talking to people I know see on the news. But I've always suffered with low self esteem and that did hold me back, along with not sucking up.

[madamemuddle]

You sound positive and interested in Finance. The good thing about that is that you can study, progress and earn more. It is also an area of work where you can put your head down and ignore people if you want to which it sounds as if you want to do!

My philosophy is that you only need one job so focusing on finding that. Do not talk about lack of jobs, difficulty in finding them or getting them, competition and so on or that is what you will get.

Get excited. This is a new chapter of your life. It's a new start. It doesn't sound like you have to rush out and grab the first thing which comes along which is great. You are in a very fortunate position. Remind yourself of that often and you will be fine.

Best of luck.

[madamemuddle]

You want a Tigger mindset not Eeyore...

[atticusclaw]

Legal secretarial/paralegal roles pay far less than the other options you're considering. At my last firm paralegals were on about 15k and experienced legal secretaries only a couple of grand more. Nothing like a teacher's salary

[madamemuddle]

Agree with atticuslaw.

Don't go for something that is traditionally seen as women's work!

[QueenChrysalis]

That's the trap isn't it, falling into typical jobs which are more family friendly but pay a pittance. I haven't even paid off my student loan, it seems such a waste not to have a career after getting a good degree from a respected uni and not a great example to my DDs.

I can't believe legal secretaries are paid so low, PAs get a much better salary and I wouldn't need to retrain. I expected the starting salary to be low, accountancy is similar, but not to stay low. I'd consider doing the law conversion if I hadn't been warned that it's hard to find work and the hours are ridiculously long.

Head down and ignoring everyone sounds great, in fact my dream job once was being an academic, sat in a dusty book filled office writing papers, occasionally teaching/supervising and a bit of travel to meet other experts or visit places. I'd probably have tried if I had parents who could finance it. Although I have threatend to do a phd just for fun instead of work.

So I'd better get this accountancy stuff done and start being more tigger, the hard bit. I was very positive last year, plans to do voluntary accounting work and confident enough to see no problem in contacting local firms for work experience. And I live in London so I hope that gives me a better chance of finding work.

[madamemuddle]

QueenChrysalis, there are a lot of us in that boat!

PAs do earn more but then you end up working for someone senior and just get trapped in that role for ever more. I know, I am one and have several friends who are PAs.

What about temping in a finance role? The economy seems to be picking up and more roles are being advertised. You can dip your toe in the water and see how you like it. It will definitely help your confidence. Office work is a bit like riding a bike, you don't really forget how to do it! Within a short while you'll be wondering why you were worrying. Sitting at home imagining what it will be like is not good for the brain. Far better to get out there and get on with it. You are obviously a very intelligent lady. I am sure you will be fine!

[QueenChrysalis]

Yes I was surprised when I learnt how much a PA could earn outside of the public sector. I pretty much was a PA at one point and then part of a team running a ministerial office. But the dead endness is a problem, not to mention the risk of getting someone awful and demanding to work for.

I would approach some tempting agencies but I suspect my CV would be filed in the bin due to zero experience in the sector and the huge gap on my CV, which = parent (well mother because this would never be a problem for DH) of small children who get sick and mean more absences than 18 yr old school leaver. I may stand a better chance if I can find a bit of employed work, anything, even if unrelated. Apparently voluntary work counts for almost nothing. But there's no point worrying now, if accounting is the route to take I can finish off this course, and the next one, while begging accounts firms to let me shadow or work for free and maybe they'll like me enough to offer to pay me or recommend me for other firms by the time DD2 starts school. I know jobs are more scarce from speaking to the lecturer last year but it's realistic.

I looked at museums studies and found some advice cautioning against doing the MA due to the competitive job market. Even with extensive voluntary experience and an MA it's not a guarantee of a job and the popularity of this work is why the pay is so low.

[madamemuddle]

I think the trouble with the high flying/paying PA jobs in private sector is that you will have to sweat blood to earn that money. It means working through lunch hours, staying late and being on call which is not very good if you've children. I've done similar in the past with no children and it is a nightmare.

I think your problem at the moment is yourself! Every job or industry you mention is dismissed as being too competitive to get into, too low paid, you have zero experience, your cv will be chucked in the bin, etc. You really need to get past this if you want to find work. Someone out there will want you but not if you are putting yourself down and generally being negative. You have to get out there and paint a smile on your face. Confidence is everything.

[QueenChrysalis]

I will work on the confidence, I was much more positive a year ago when I started this accountancy stuff. I know it's not as easy as it was when I started work ten years ago and I will have to do more than rely on applying for advertised jobs, which I have time to do.

So if there are any accountancy or finance people in around around London who see this, I would love to find out more, come shadow for a day or even do a week or so work experience. I'll even write up a CV if it helps.

[Twooter]

Question for the finance people. In this position would you advise doing bookkeeping course or AAT if you were going to retrain through an online provider? ( in same boat)

[Badvoc123]

Queen I could have written your post!
My youngest hS just entered year 1 and I am looking for pt work.
I am also from an admin background (NHS and academia)
I can't even get an interview :(
I have done OU courses whilst I have been a sahm and voluntary work but it seems to count for nothing.
I need to retrain I think b
A) what as?
B) I don't want student debt for the rest of the my life!
Sigh...

[magicpixie]

aat would be a good route for you paid for by an employer
then cima or similar

[Twooter]

Thank you Magic pixie

[BigSpottyCupofTea]

Queen - keep an eye out/contact MNHQ to see if the Bank of America's Return to Work programme is running anytime soon. I had a place on the course in the first year - it was absolutely brilliant! Good at building self-esteem and confidence for women in exactly your situation. I'd been a SAHM for 5 years and ended up getting a good professional, part time flexible role not that long after it finished. Really strongly recommend it if it comes up again. Good luck.

[QueenChrysalis]

Twooter, I don't know which is best but if you do AAT you can do it self study and save a lot of money, unless you get concessions. I'm finding L3 easy enough and the one module I did pay for (spreadsheets) I asked my tutor one question and he didn't know the answer - which version of excel they use. I didn't sit the L2 exams but I did go through the books and practice tests (this gives a more thorough walk through of double entry bookkeeping) and I can do the computerised accounting, which is just a Sage course via a home study CD course via Sage themselves for about £100. I got my books off ebay too. The exams are just over £50 each and then AAT membership was about £130 first time, £80 for subsequent years. AAT also support you to become self employed with their Member in Practice scheme. It's also a lot more than just the bookkeeping so you may find other bits more interesting.

Badvoc - sorry you aren't getting anywhere. I think part time is tough and I can't see myself getting anything unless I can do full time. I was told that a lot of mums end up working for the school and I can see why. I saw a couple of jobs in schools advertised and the hours and term time only is appealing, but rubbish pay. As above, this AAT thing is cheaper than uni courses and £1500 ish for a year in college. The further exams are more expensive but often funded by employers. There may be other similar professional courses like HR or IT. But it's silly how many professions have become degree entry only, I fancied being a paramedic at one point but that's a three year degree now and I don't want more debt either.

[QueenChrysalis]

I will have a look CupofTea, thanks for the recommendation it sounds good but at the moment, quite scary. I presume it's a competitive application process to get on the course. You can tell I don't like competitiveness!

[Badvoc123]

Ha!
Are you me!? :)
I would love to be a paramedic but as you say it's degree only now.
And the only place near me to train is Sheffield!
I think I am going to try voluntary work again.
See if it leads to anything.
I applied for a post at my sons school but it turned out it was a zero hours contract!
I.e. No permanent hours but they can ring at any time and expect you to cover!
For £7.50 an hour!
I don't think so....

[QueenChrysalis]

It's probably best I physically wouldn't be able to do the paramedic job right now as a full time three year degree is not going to happen, especially as the pay is rubbish. It wasn't a degree subject ten years ago when I graduated but I did love my subject and wouldn't have changed it. That's why teaching that subject is still on the list of potential jobs, I just need to massively increase my confidence and really find out what the job is like.

Zero hours is awful, especially if you have childcare to arrange and no family conveniently able and available to babysit.

I had a look at the job centre offerings and councils seem to be offering PT roles and there was an ad for a wannabe legal secretary for a fairly local solicitor. Tempting to throw a couple of CVs out but I'm not sure the salary would cover the childcare, if I could even get childcare. With civil service jobs they often said they'd consider job share for part time workers so local government may be the same. You could even try applying for general recruitment runs and then requesting a PT role. I saw an ad for Prison Officers, no experience necessary!