Have asked for career break - am I mad??

[lazyeye]

Hi all, just wondering what ye all think about this - wondering if I have done the right thing.

I'm currently about 15wks pg with my 3rd. My eldest is 3 and my youngest 15 months, which will leave me with 3 under 4.....

I love my p/t job in a University and they have been really good to me. Each mat leave I have taken the 6mnths paid and 6mnths unpaid..very lucky I know. I feel terrible today having just told them I am pg for the 3rd time.......i just came back in August. I have been hiding the pg as I have had 2 m/cs as well.

After much discussion with hubs, decided to ask for 2 year career brk which will see the eldest at school and the middle one at state nursery..cutting back ccare costs.

They haven't agreed to it yet of course, I think I might be the first to ask from a non teaching ALC post so all new ground, but I am hopeful. I have offered not to take any mat pay off them if they agree to this even though it will be a struggle for us.

Have a done the right thing? Will I go insane without my job and 3 kids at home. Help, I'm really worried now.........

[bluecow]

Chill! Think you did the right thing. After all, it's a career break - you haven't resigned. I have a son of 14 months and am due to have baby2 in April and am thinking of a career break as well.

My sister in law took one and then decided to go back earlier than she had planned and her work were fine with that so if you did find it was driving you a bit mad then I am sure you could go back earler. But I think the stress will be off you as you know a job will be open for you when you want it.

There's no reason you shouldn't be granted a break if that's what your university offers all its staff.

But you are entitled to mat. leave and pay and don't forgo it because obviously some of it will be paid. You mustn't feel guilty! Why not take a year of maternity leave and then a year career break?

[lazyeye]

Well, I don't know if they do offer it to all employees - probably some teaching staff have been given some, but maybe for different reasons.
Will just have to wait and see. I just think trying to work even p/t with 3 such young children would be hard and the childcare costs prohibitive, plus I do want to spend some time with them. Youre' right I should chill a bit, just I feel a bit up tight about it all, not even many know I am pg yet - have been doing a lot of sitting down and wandering round with files in front of my growing bump. I'm quite embarrassed about being pg again

[hana]

hope they are good to you and give you the 'break'...sounds like you are doing the right thing for you and your family!
hana

[Clover]

I know what you mean about being embarrassed. I only came back to work at the end of Sept and my third is due at the beginning of May! I am quite envious of your two-year career break though! I took nearly a year with my last but we were strapped financially and I think I'll have to go back after nine months this time. I like my job and having adult company but a career break when you know you can go back eventually will be fab, I'm sure!Good luck.

[lazyeye]

Thanks Clover & Hana - half of me thinks I should be embarrassed and the other doesn't - sort of why should I be? Its what I want...it wasn't a mistake. Pples reaction when you tell them you are up the duff for the 3rd time is quite funny, very few have said congrats, not even my Mum.

Anyway, I haven't been give the career break yet, just asked this morning, but we'll see.

Hana - nice of you to post. I'm keeping an eye on you so to speak and hope you get good news soon. I've had 2 m/cs in the past and am sending you good baby vibes.............

[LIZS]

Sounds like a good idea to me. I took a Career Break but ultimately, due to changes in circumstances as much as lack of will, have not returned to work.

Do check the terms and conditions carefully since, as far as I know, these schemes are not regulated and can vary from one employer to another. I originally asked for a One Year break which meant that they would have had to keep my specific job availabe to me, which they were not prepared to do. My only other option to extend my ML under the scheme was a Five Year break during which time I lost touch with people and business developments. This promised only the option to be considered for employment at the same level - no guarantee of a job - but it did maintain continuity of employment for things like holiday entitlements and pension scheme, were I to return which I felt at the time was a good safety net. The nature of your job, and comparable positions, might determine how flexible an employer yours proves to be.

Good luck, I don't think you have much to lose by asking.

[handlemecarefully]

Firstly - congratulations on expecting your 3rd!

Well - I can imagine that childcare costs would be prohibitive with 3 needing some sort of day care, but ...and I don't know whether I should say this as it might not be very helpful....I think you are very brave! I am going back to work part time (3 days per week) after the birth of my 2nd child in April - because I couldn't face 24:7 at home with two under 2. Its a much softer option to go back to work 3 days per week (incidentally I don't even enjoy my work) and get some sort of respite from it than be driven to the brink of insanity by full time care of 2 small demanding children.....but maybe that's just me!

All I am saying is that - as you know - you'll have your work cut out with 3 under 4, so I hope you'll have plenty of support lined up like family or friends who might give you the odd couple of hours respite care here and there.