Am I being daft? Opinions please!

[Cwmtydu]

So my baby (my first) is due on the 31st July. Am just thinking about telling work when we get back after Christmas, but I know they're going to ask me, at least informally, what I am intending to do about maternity leave and stuff.

I really need some opinions about whether I am being daft -- I have this idea that certain bits of work (a new course I will have designed, championed, and organised) I really don't want to miss out on. So I've concocted a scheme that would have me working (teaching) either one or two evenings a week for three hours at a time, from the middle of september (baby will be six or seven weeks old, if s/he comes on time).

I wouldn't be working at all during the day and dh could look after baby on those evenings. I'm intending to take maternity leave for all the rest of my job commitments which add up to more than full time.

Questions then:

How practically possible is that? Am I going to be too knackered / find it impossible to leave it when it's so young?

Are my priorities going to have changed so much that I really won't care if I lose control of my precious course?

Is this just me denying the reality of how much my life will change and do I just have to go with it and the implications for my career now I have made the decision to have children?

thanks in advance for your thoughts -- I have no idea if this is reasonable or totally out of the question.

[Feistybird]

You know the answers . I really enjoy my job, but with my first baby, I was too shell-shocked, too disorganised, too knackered, too busy to even care about my job.

[melrose]

I was really stressed about not being able to finish a major project due to maternity leave, and worked till 1 week before due date as did not want to miss out. In all honesty come that day I didn't give a flyying f* about the bloody project and just wanted to have my baby!!

Found things going on without me while I was off (I took 7 months) hard, but you quickly get back into it and there will no doubt be something to get your teeth into when you do go back.

I was adament that my career would be as important when I had a baby and although I still love working and could not contemplate stopping I did reduce my hours to 4 days a week and have to admit (miuch to glee of "told you so" colleagues!) that my priorities have changed since have my son (now 18mo), I am bettera t saying no to things and finish work on time

So basically, yes, I think you are underestimating how your life and priorities change but that is totally normal. It is alos impossible to realise how much time a baby takes up at 6 weeks old, by that point I am sure work will be the last thing on your mind!!

Hope my rambling is of some help

[SnowmAngeliz]

I am a SAHM but my opinion on your situation is this.
Your priorities will change beyond beleif. When i had my first daughter i didn't leave her with anyone for months! My second is now 9 months old though and through neccessity i do leave her at times, mostly with DP. He feels he has really bonded with her and loves the quality time and dd seems to love it too.
I think even if you are knackered it may be a welcome break for you.

Good luck+

[throckenholt]

I am not sure you can have leave from some bits of your work and not others. I am pretty sure if you are being paid maternity pay then you are not supposed to be paid to work at anything else.

I you are planning to breastfeed you will need to consider if that is possible to fit in with 3hours teaching plus travel.

[gomez]

Would have worked fine for me - not sure if I would have wanted to - in a could I have been bothered, rather than leave my baby way.

You may find an issue if you do this as an employee thou' as I believe you can't work at all in any week you receive maternity benefits so you might need to work out someway of getting paid for this.

Another consideration may be that you plan this and actually can't or don't want to when push comes to shove - how difficult will it be for your organisation to fill the gap at short notice?

[puddle]

Well, I don't think i would have been able to work in the evenings with a six week old - I would simply have been too tired. Depending on your baby you could be feeding three hourly at that age.

I think your plan will be an extra pressure that you shouldn't have so early on with your first child to be honest - the first baby is a complete (and lovely!) shock.

[beejay]

I remember saying to my mum that I might as well do an MA whilst I was on maternity leave ( this was two months before I gave birth)
My mum 'politely' said it might be worth waiting till after I had her. Needless to say I found having a shower a day was a challenge enough, let alone doing an MA!
I was on my own however which did make it harder...

[munz]

I was gonna do this in march - well work from home (only) for 10/15 hours per week once baby's about 6-8 weeks old. will let u know how it goes

[blueshoes]

Cwmtydu,

If I could add my 2-cents' worth. At 6-7 weeks, you are still adjusting to baby and your new life. 3 hours 1-2 evenings a week at that time would have been too much for me.

If you intend to breastfeed, that would mean having to get baby onto bottles, perhaps expressing milk, all the sort of thing you don't want to have to faff around with if you don't need to otherwise.

I too was a planner - boy, was motherhood a shock to my system. You can't plan whether baby is easy or not, good sleeper or not, attached to mummy or not, how tired you/dh will be, how you will feel about work when baby is so young.

So if you can, try to leave your options open to NOT do it. You might find what you valued previously will fly out the window once baby is here. Good luck

[Pagan]

I would also add that if your baby isn't a good sleeper then working those few hours when you could be catching up on some sleep will seem like total torture

[Bozza]

I think it is possible. But the main problem is that evening is the time when a lot of babies are unsettled. I also think that even if you tell work you are pregnant now there is no need to decide about your future plans just yet.

[babaworshipper]

3 hourly!!!! At that age my little one bf almost constantly in the evenings, I could barely get to the loo. It is called cluster feeding if you want to look it up.

Oh and you probably couldn't care less about your job. Your new creation will be far ore alluring.

[fennel]

This does work for some of us. i work in academia and it's fairly common for women to come back quite early from maternity leave, or do bits of academic work during their leaves. for the sort of reasons you mention, keeping control of a particular course or project you've already invested a lot in, or finishing a paper or a book.

I did do some work at that stage after each baby and I didnt' find I was too brain-dead.
nor did i find my priorities changed totally. i still like my job and engage with it, and even felt like that with a new baby.

However it is hard to tell in advance. and a lot does depend on how well your baby sleeps. two of mine were miracle sleepers which made a huge difference.

[HaveaMerryChristmas]

May I speak candidly?

I reckon work will pale into (relative) insignificance once you have a newborn and that when it comes to it you won't relish having to take on work commitments (however modest) 6 weeks post partum.

[HaveaMerryChristmas]

Also previously I was married to my career but now I care dick all about it. Not saying this transformation will happen to you - but be prepared that it might

[LadyPenelope]

Cwmtydu
Some people can and do go back at 6 weeks ... it's not impossible, but I'd only do it if you are very career oriented or really need the money. Otherwise, I'd recommend you be kind to yourself and give yourself the chance to be with the baby - and give yourself up to the wonder of those first weeks. My ds is now a strapping 8 month old, I'm back at work and those precious days are just wonderful memories. You need the rest at 6 weeks (it's a marathon, not a sprint!)and if you aren't resting, you might like to have a bath, blow dry your hair (for the first time in 6 weeks), write the thank you notes, chat to friends etc. etc. It's impossible to imagine how you will feel once the baby arrives, but while you may have a passing regret/irritation that someone else is running "your" course, work will be there later when you want to go back to it.

[HaveaMerryChristmas]

She's right you know!

[WigWamBam]

For me, my priorities changed far more than I would have dreamed possible. I also found that the first three months were hell on legs, more tiring than anything I have ever done in my life, I sometimes couldn't even remember my own name let alone be able to teach in the evenings. The fewer complications I had around me the better.

[HaveaMerryChristmas]

Then there is a bit of baby blues to factor into then equation....

[Hadalifeonce]

You can never know how you'll feel until the time. I was a 20year career woman who wasn't going to let a baby change my plans, I have just returned to work....my younger child is nearly 3!
A friend was going to give up work completely to be a SAHM, she want back within 10 weeks.

You never know.........

[PeachyPlumFairy]

I HAD to go back towork with ds 1 and 2 at 9 and 6 weeks for money reasons. It was really hard to leave them, but I was working far more hours than you would be and it sounds quite possible to me. My only concern TBH would be if Baby comes late.

I will admit that when ds3 came and I had a chance to leave work (albeit with the proviso of accepting a cash strapped existence) I did grab it, taking a year off before college part time last year.

I'm pretty sure Thronckenholt (SP) is right that you can't work AT ALL whilst on maternity leave for other jobs? Although I may be misinformed.

If you really need to work for financial / operational reasons then you can make it work, but otherwise I wouldn't bank on it, the hormones will still have you within their firm grip.

[LUCYlastiKATEdchristmastocking]

it sounds like a nice idea

but i think you are seriously underestimating the impact of night time feeding i'm afraid.

[MrsDoolittle]

I think they'll ask you informally, but honestly anyone who has children will not really be expecting a likely answer.
I also teach and came out with all sorts of ideas when I fell pregnant. I threw the whole department into turmoil ( I had been taken on to cover maternity leave).
You have no idea how you will feel once baby is born. I certainly was completely unprepared for the overwhelming feelings that overcame me when dd was born.
My boss admitted to me that despite all my attempts to reassure her that my job was so important she was a little surprised I came back.
Don't worry about it now. You won't know until atleast two months before you're due to go back!

[chipmonksRoastingOnAnOpenFire]

At that stage I was always in floods of tears, wrecked tired and constantly feeding. ds1 was a summer baby and I remember saying to my boss that it might be nice to sit out in the garden with the baby while on mat. leave. He had been a daddy for 6 months or so at that stage and he gave me such a pitying look as if he thought I had no idea what I was letting myself in for! And nothing, but nothing prepared me for the guilt at the thought of going back to work and leaving this defenceless, trusting little creature with people I didn't know. However, it might be worth remembering that maternity leave in the US is often just 6 weeks and people seem to manage!

[motherinfurrierfestivehat]

I did some editing work at that stage, I think. And in fact I found my first maternity leave absolutely awful and couldn't wait to get back to work, so I don't go along with the 'everything palls into insignificance compared with the wonder of the baby'. I would find it hard, though, to make a significant commitment to presenting in front of others. You may have a four week old baby; at that stage I was utterly knocked out and also a huge baggy fat monster which I have to admit would have made public appearances hard too