Sterilisation - Advice Please

[dcolagirl]

After 2 children with only 14.5 months getween, going through a VERY rocky patch and taking some strong anti depressants, I have now come out of the other side of a very unpleasant few months. With hindsight, it may have been delayed PND.

Anyway, I do not want anymore children and the depo provera jab is causing my appetite to expand to the extent that I am close to going up a dress size each month. The pill (whichever one I take) makes my PMT really bad.

I have discussed this with dh but he has come up with every excuse not to have a vasectomy. The upshot is he is terrified.

So, I am going to get sterilised. Can anyone give me a bit of an insight into how it works, what happens etc, as well as any experiences.

Thanks,

DC

[lou33]

I was sterilised in december 01, and I have never regretted it. Dh was the same as yours, and as I was adamant that 4 was enough it was up to me, (dh was happy to use condoms but I wasn't).

Basically it is a day case procedure, done under a general anaesthetic. They go in through the belly button and two other places around your bikini line, so it leaves only the smallest scars. I felt fine afterwards, but was told to take it easy for 2 -3 days. Went in early in the morning, was operated on at 2pm and was discharged by 6.30.

I actually feel quite liberated now, not having to worry about getting pg. I think the failure rate is 1 in 500, so not as good as a vasectomy, but I don't have any regrets. Hth.

[zebra]

I have a friend who was just sterilised a week ago & is abslutely delighted. She is only about 29, has 2 kids but problems with PND, and was adament she doesn't want more. Her experience was as good as lou33 described. I'm thinking seriously about it after next kid (hopefully a next kid will happen) because both our previous kids were unplanned, so I'm hopelessly over-fertile, and I am now 35 and don't want to ever face the amnio question again.

[hmb]

I had mine done when I had my ds by c-section. I has a spinal anaesthetic and the cuts were obviously different to the 'normal' method. I was fine, and have never regretted it for a minute. Dd and Ds were both planned, but 2 was enough for me, and it is good not to have to faff about with other methods of contraception. Sometimes they clip your tubes, but they cut mine out, and I saw them in a jar...an odd thought

[hmb]

I had mine done when I had my ds by c-section. I has a spinal anaesthetic and the cuts were obviously different to the 'normal' method. I was fine, and have never regretted it for a minute. Dd and Ds were both planned, but 2 was enough for me, and it is good not to have to faff about with other methods of contraception. Sometimes they clip your tubes, but they cut mine out, and I saw them in a jar...an odd thought

[hmb]

sorry

[mears]

dcolagirl - I was also sterilised and had only 2 incisions - 1 at my belly button and 1 on my public hair line. I was pretty sore when I woke up from the anaesthetiic but it eased very quickly. Dh pampered me when I got home and I spent a couple of days in bed. DD was 3 months old at the time so I was occupied breast feeding her. I have to say that I got sterilised because I had 4 children and the last 2 were in SCBU because they needed phototherapy/ blood transfusions because of antibodies during my pregnancies. I do not believe in men having vasectomies so the choice was always mine to be sterilised. However, I have to say that if it had not been for the antibodies I would not have been sterilised. Each month I secretly hope it will have failed. DD is now 9 years old. Make sure you are in the correct frame of mind to make this decision. It is not easily reversible therefore you must be 100% sure that this is what you want to do. Perhaps you should get a mirena coil which is more reliable than female sterilisation seemingly until you are in the right frame of mind to make such a final decision.

[Lindy]

dcolagirl - I was all set to have a sterilisation last year & went for a consultation (after getting lots of mumsnet advice!) but, whilst I am 100% (no, make that 1000%) sure I do not want another child, the thing that put me off was the number of people that have experienced very bad period problems afterwards - having never experienced problems, I did not want to start in my mid 40s. Don't want to sound negative, but just stating my concerns - of course, it won't be like that for everyone. I have more or less decided to try the mirena coil.

[mears]

Lindy - I have to say that I had crap periods before I was sterilised and they are still the same. I do think that the mirena is worth trying before going down the sterilisation route. Somebody suggested me trying it despite being sterilised. At £100 a pop I am sure my GP would object to that

[gillymac]

Mears,
hope you don't mind me asking but why don't you velieve in men having vasectomies.
My dh is dead against it because, according to him, everyone he knows who's had one has a horror story to tell. Basically he's scared! I'm not any better because I wouldn't be sterilised because it couldn't be done under local anaesthetic and I'm terrified of having a general one.

[zebra]

I'm nervous about a general, too, but I haven't got on with the IUD well, and I don't fancy being on the pill long term.

Don't know about Mears, I feel nervous about my DH getting sterilised because I don't want to take the option away from him of having children with another wife. Guess that sounds pessimistic, but reality is people very often get divorced, and occasionally die young. There are strong age-related reasons for me (personally) to have no more babies, but the situation is different for DH (who is 7 yrs younger than me, too).

[mears]

Gillymac - I believe that men are intended to be fertile throughout their lives whilst women are not. As a young midwife I came across a couple who were expecting their first baby and the wife was admitted with pre - eclampsia. She was the husband's second wife. His first wife had died following a brain haemorrhage. The husband had had a vasectomy believing that their family was complete. He had not considered what would happen if his wife should die. His second wife was much younger than himself. She wanted a family and his first family was grown up. He therefore had a reversal which was successful fortunayely for them. There is also an increase in teticular cancer in men who have had a vasectomy. My sister is a microbiologist and she told me that there was evidence that men who had vasectomies aged more rapidly because their bodies break down their own tissues more rapidly in response to breaking down sperm cells that have no where to go. Sounds feasible to me. At the end of the day I felt that my fertility would wane naturally whereas my husband's would not. We all make decisions we are happy with. As you might have guesssed by my previous post I would rather not be sterilised in the sense that I wish we could have another baby. As that is not sensible, I am happy to be sterilised instead of my hsband. The general anaesthetic was lovely and contrary topopular belief is not very dagerous. Anaesthetics for such procedure are very light. I was home at tea-time and was a bit sore but fine.

[mears]

Gillymac - I believe that men are intended to be fertile throughout their lives whilst women are not. As a young midwife I came across a couple who were expecting their first baby and the wife was admitted with pre - eclampsia. She was the husband's second wife. His first wife had died following a brain haemorrhage. The husband had had a vasectomy believing that their family was complete. He had not considered what would happen if his wife should die. His second wife was much younger than himself. She wanted a family and his first family was grown up. He therefore had a reversal which was successful fortunayely for them. There is also an increase in teticular cancer in men who have had a vasectomy. My sister is a microbiologist and she told me that there was evidence that men who had vasectomies aged more rapidly because their bodies break down their own tissues more rapidly in response to breaking down sperm cells that have no where to go. Sounds feasible to me. At the end of the day I felt that my fertility would wane naturally whereas my husband's would not. We all make decisions we are happy with. As you might have guesssed by my previous post I would rather not be sterilised in the sense that I wish we could have another baby. As that is not sensible, I am happy to be sterilised instead of my hsband. The general anaesthetic was lovely and contrary topopular belief is not very dagerous. Anaesthetics for such procedure are very light. I was home at tea-time and was a bit sore but fine.

[mears]

Apologies for spelling mistakes - typing too rapidly and not previewing mesages.

[lou33]

Lindy, if it helps my periods are like clockwork now. They are a bit heavier for the first day but they seem to be shorter too, so I can't say they have got worse.

[dcolagirl]

Thanks for your insights. The period thing does worry me. My SIL was sterilised after 3 kids and things got so bad that she had to have a hysterectomy about a year later.

I have also been put off the coil because my SIL (on the other side of the family!) tried to have a coil fitted and they tore her bladder in three places, which required surgery to correct.

Also, my sister had a coil fitted and her periods are heavier, although shorter, now.

Now I've had the kids (like Lindy, I am 1000% sure that I don't want anymore) I wish I could turn into a man!

[Lindy]

Now I just don't know what to do (abstinence?!)

Mears, very well articulated (if that is the right word on-line) regarding male vasectomies - agree with all the points and it is so tragic when you hear of the many cases (some here on mumsnet) about men wanting to reverse vasectomies in subsequent relationships ... I know some women may regret sterilisation but it doesn't appear to be so common (will refrain from making a sexist comment about male/female decision making!).

[zebra]

I don't like the coil. I definitely recommend against it (!) I'm having it out in 6 weeks. My periods aren't heavy, but they go on for about 10 days of dribble. I don't even know how to tell when they stop or end. Plus I get discharge inbetween now because the threads are irritating my cervix (irritate hubby sometimes, too). Blech.

[ariel]

I was steralised sep2002, again i had just 2 small insicions, one did take abit longer to heal as it was done over a c section scar, i was quite tender for a few days but pain killers helped. The only thing i have found is since i had it done my periods have been all over the place, before i was very regular, every 28 days guareenteed, but now i dont know where i am, a few people have said the same that it can take a while to settle down, but i have to have a smear test just to make sure, but im still glad i did it.

[gillymac]

Mears,
thanks for your reply. What you're saying sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I didn't know about the early ageing/testicular cancer arguments against vasectomy. Id better not let dh read this!
To be honest though,I would never force him to get a vasectomy. I know if I was him I wouldn't so it's not fair to insist he does.
As for the general anaesthetic, I know rationally that the risks are tiny but I'm a wimp. I've had a problem with my arm for some time ago which could possibly be cured with an operation but unless I could have it done under a local I wouldn't consider it. Stupid or what.