Bed Wetting

[Dweia]

I am so glad I found this forum. I thought I was the only one with a child who still wets the bed. My son is almost 7 and still wets the bed on a regular basis. We have also on a couple of occassions found him weeing in his room in the middle of the night when he has got up to go to the loo but still being half asleep thought he has got to the bathroom but in actual fact he hasn't left his bedroom.
Due to my husband being in the forces we have moved around quite a lot and i initially thought this was the problem. But we haven't moved for some time now and having discussed with my son why he thinks he is wetting the bed (he's a very intelligent boy which in itself causes problems ie easily bored and somewhat hyperactive) we have decided this is not a factor. He is not being bullied and is happy and settled at school to the point he would go at the weekends too if he could. he has lots of friends and isn't shy so that isn't a problem either. We too have restricted his drinks up to 2 and a half hours before bedtime but find he is still wetting the bed. My husband and I have no problems so there isn't anything there that could be causing stress and he gets on extremely well with his older and younger sister.
Any advice anyone has would be most greatfully received as I really don't know what my next move is. My son would love to have sleepovers both here with his friends and at his friends houses but like the other poster's daughter is quite embarrassed by the whole thing and he wants to be able to stop doing this too.
so if anyone has any other suggestions before we turn to the gp then that would be great.
thanks

[Janh]

dweia, i sympathise! my son is a lot older than yours and still unreliable; he would not go to sleepovers for years.

he also has been found in his bedroom weeing in the middle of the night...down the wall once, from a top bunk. he does sleep very deeply (also talks in his sleep, i don't know if that's relevant.) it isn't a psychological problem in his case either.

anyway, i didn't come on to depress you, just to give you some options! first of all you can try to increase his functional bladder capacity, so that he can go longer between wees; you'll only be able to do it while he's at home of course. you have to increase his drinking during the day and encourage him to hold on as long as possible before he goes...easier said than done of course. (you're trying to train his bladder to go through the night.)

you can also try the buzzer alarms but, again, with a child that sleeps really deeply they might not work; when we had one of the big box alarms we put it inside a biscuit tin and it woke the whole house but not his lordship whose head it was next to!

we have tried desmopressin tablets but they don't always work; actually i have just read lou33's message, i didn't know there were alternatives.

what we are realising now is that being overtired makes it worse. we have battles to get him to bed at a sensible time but when we do it makes a difference.

he is still not reliable but goes to sleepovers with a sleeping bag with a huggies pullup (giant size!) concealed inside and, amazingly, seems to be able to get away with it.

i can't think of anything else just now but good luck!

[Kia]

The temp I'm working with this week has a little girl who keeps wetting the bed. She spoke to her friend about this and how to stop it and she said to take the little girls pants off. According to the friend it stops them thinking they've got a nappy on and are free to wee as it were! Only one wee last night apparently and that was in the loo!! Just thought I'd pass that gem on in case anyone could use it.

[helenmc]

My dd was a delight to toliet train, then she went and broke her arm, and that plus a few other factors (unhappy at school) started weeing the bed. We lifted her just before we went to bed and now 18 months later and a much much happier year at school we've had very few accidents. She used to go to sleepovers and we'd warn parents to take her to the toilet before they went to bed. We know when she is tired that's when they are most likely to happen. By the way she's now 8. I did see a programme which said something like 1 in 100 were incontinent as adults and reminds me to do some pelvic floor exercises!

[Ka1]

I am so happy I just found this page, I thought I was the only one going through this sort of thing and I am too embarrassed to tell family and friends. My 8 year old boy still wets the bed every night, I have tried cutting down his drinks and getting him up late at night and nothing works. He seems happy enough in school and at home, he is quite clever and gets bored easily and his attention wavers. I am dreading the time when the letter comes for a school trip. Any advice anybody could give would be greatly appreciated.

[LIZS]

A friend of mine is going through a similar situation with her just 8 yr old. She has got some sort of alarm which vibrates to wake him as he starts to go and saw some success in days. Not seen her recently so don't know how it has progressed. He had never been dry at night though and slept so deeply that he didn't wake when he needed to go.

Perhaps your gp or hv could help, or at least direct you to a source of help and support.

[lou33]

You need to go to your gp and ask to be referred to an eneurisis clinic. They will rule out if the problem is physical or not by xrays and ultrasounds. There are plenty of medications to try as well as alarms, vibrating and noisy ones. The medication can take a few weeks to work though, or may not work at all, it's trial and error really. About 1 in 10 children at aged 8 still wet the bed at night, going down to 1 in 7 for aged 10. You should also be able to get night time pads for your son through your health visitor, or failing that Huggies do pull ups up to aged 15 now I think.

Also avoid fluids 1 1/2 -2 hours before bedtime, especially brown drinks. Try and restrict sugar too.

Some children just have immature bladders that take longer to recognise it is full, and is just a question of sitting it out though.

Good luck.

[Ka1]

Thank you Liz for replying, I went to my GP a few weeks ago about it and he was not interested or very helpful. But I will try my HV, I have heard about these alarms I will have to look into them more. Please let me know how your friend get's on with the alarm.

[Ka1]

Thanks Lou, I do use huggies at night but my son thinks because the bed is not wet that he is not wetting the bed. I will cut out chocolate drinks and will definatley go to see my HV because he can't do sleepovers or go on school trips until this is sorted. What sort of medicataion is this, is it herbal?or do you get from your GP

[janh]

Ka1, we got most help from the school nurse, although of course she is attached to the Health Centre and works alongside the HVs and GPs.

The problem my son has had (and possibly yours too) is a failure of the pituitary gland to produce the hormone that slows down kidney activity at night, combined with an ability to sleep through bombs going off (not literally!)

A very small percentage of children are like this, it is just a question of the process maturing late. Taking Desmopressin tablets (which mimic the hormone that he isn't producing, they are chemical, not herbal) combined with an enuresis alarm has sorted him out, more or less, eventually, although he is still not 100% reliable.

Your HV probably is the best person to speak to first, ask her how to contact the school nurse service. (Although I don't know if the enuresis service ours provides is available everywhere.)

My DS managed on school trips with a Dry-Nite hidden inside his sleeping bag every night...! Good luck.

[lou33]

I would persist in getting a referral from the gp too. They don't like doing anything before the age of 7 but after that they should be willing to check it out. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

[XAusted]

My dd (6.5) is still not dry at night. I don't let that restrict what she can do tho. She is old enough to be able to deal with "dry-nites" (or whatever) herself. All she needs is a nappy sack and she can pop it in the bin in the morning.

[edgarcat]

Message withdrawn

[edgarcat]

Message withdrawn

[lou33]

Yes Edgarcat, they will tell you to go away until ds/dd (sorry can't remember which) reaches 7.

[edgarcat]

Message withdrawn

[lou33]

By saying that you have just ensured that you won't.

[edgarcat]

Message withdrawn

[janh]

edgarcat, darling, I think lou forgot her .

4.5 is still really early to be worrying, really! I bet if parents had to tell the reception teacher honestly (in strictest confidence) and the reception teacher was free to quote numbers to those whose children were still not reliably dry at night, everybody would be a lot more relaxed about the whole thing.

Maybe it should be part of baseline assessment....(JUST KIDDING!!!)

[edgarcat]

Message withdrawn

[janh]

What did he do with it in the morning, edgarcat? Dread to think, actually! (When he went on primary school PGL holiday DH was one of the parents who went along to help and I think he might have been the concealment agent.)

DS2 (who has never had a problem, luckily, don't think I could have coped with 2 at once) had a friend to sleep at the weekend, he insisted on bringing and sleeping in his sleeping bag, on the floor, and next morning I found some very damp pyjamas, which I just bundled up into the sleeping bag when his dad came. These are 10-yr-olds...I think parents generally just don't talk about it past pre-school!

You may well be right about weeing on waking - DS1 definitely does, now he is so old (ie old enough to report back) he has caught himself doing it. You will get there!

[lou33]

Yeh sorry edgarcat I should've added a smiley. Here it is .....

It might make you feel better to know I have an 11 year old who is wet every night, a 6 year old who is about 50/50, a 4 year old who is just starting the odd night dry(and who just silently got up to do a wee as I type - yay!), and a 27 month old who is permanently in nappies. The oldest is currently starting a new round of drugs at a higher dosage to see if it works. She is due to go on a school trip for a week and getting a bit stressed about being found out. Am hoping it will work.

[janh]

Good luck for your DD's trip, lou!

I hope the stronger dose will work, but if not, what are the sleeping arrangements? Are they in big groups or just 2 or 3 to a room? Would she be able to manage the Dry-Nite-down-the-sleeping-bag trick without being spotted?

[lou33]

Thanks. She does have pads provided by the nhs to keep her dry but they are quite bulky, like adult nappies (the other options aren't absorbant enough). We have spoken to the school about it, and they have been sympathetic. She is in a group of about 4 to a room, which is better, but it's still a worry isn't it? They all seem nice girls but things can change if they fall out, but hopefully that isn't going to happen and they will never spot her discarding the evidence.