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[sleepymumof3]

I am back home feeling thoroughly miserable having prepared myself for surgery for nothing !
15 years ago i had a traumatic delivery which resulted in me being incontinent from my bowels after a badly repaired 4th degree tear.I also had a rectocele.I put up with it until dd2 was born and then had a really succsessful repair job and had my perineum rebuilt.
I then had another pregnancy 10 years later and after much debate decided to go for a vaginal del.
Baby got stuck again in second stage and i pushed for over 4 hours.
Within 6 months my prolapse was back and perineum really sore again.I saw a consultant who wanted to do a double repair and hysterectomy within 6 months.Am only 35 so was a bit taken aback.Having teenage daughters and a baby son didnt want to rule out having another one so i asked for a second opinion. <br /> On the day of my consultation the cons. was on hol so i saw her registrar.She agreed that i didnt need a double repair or a hysterectomy, and that regardless of whether or not i wanted more children i shouldnt have to put up with it at my age.She booked me in for a posterior repair and to have my perineum rebuilt.I went into hosp Tue having arranged cover for 12 weeks off work, my parents flew home from abroad to help dh and all the usual arrangements were in place as was meant to be in for a week.Was gowned up and signed consent form and everything-the consultant herself popped in purley out of courtesy because i am staff.During our little chat she mentioned that i was 100% sure id never have children again and could she sterilize me at the same time !
I told her i had been up front all along and declined hysterctomy ect as i couldnt say for certain i wouldnt have another child.She was shocked and said she wouldnt go ahead unless i was sure (had good reason but the registrar had basically given me the wrong advice )They were literally waiting outside my room with the theatre trolley when i decided not to go ahead.I asked if she could just sort out my perineum but she said it was a major op and needing entirely rebuilding again-to go home and put up with it until id either had another baby or could be sure i didnt want one ! <br /> I am so bloody up and down now because i was all prepared to go and then didnt.Worse still i was looking forward to getting my sex life back !Sorry this is so long but i needed to tell someone and its so private i couldn`t discuss this with my parents who are in a bit of a daze as to whats going on !