Just Started some qustions and info.

[fosterdream]

Hi all FC, Me and my DH have just started the precess of fostering they've called twice to ask if we have had the info via post only to find they had the wrong address! So they took more info via the phone and will start the checks on us and send the info out again to our address this time I hope. Call us Monday or Tuesday and come round for a chat with me, DH and DC

Our DD's are 4 and 2. DD1 Goes to school part time full time next year and DD2 is at home full time with me. Me and DH are in our mid 20's

We talked on the phone for a good while and said because of our DD's been young and me not wanting to confuse them with children coming and going after a few weeks or months (I don't want them to think they would ever leave us) we would like placements for around a year or longer. She said that a "forever home" would be best and that they would be thinking if we pass the panel that children over 7 years (maybe a teenager!) would best suited and would most likely stay with us till he or she turned 18 this would be great I must say (if it happens).

She asked why we wanted to foster I hadn't even thought of the reasons why something I have always wanted to do and have a strong family history of fostering and adoption. I think I replied the right answers she seemed very happy with us.

She said there are hardly any FC that take 0-3's and 6+ I find this very shocking and when my DH was planning on adoption a 6-8 year old a year ago but have to wait for the two year gap. I thought we would be fostering younger children because of our experience with babies and toddlers, so we was shocked that we can foster older children? How can we be foster older children but not adopt older children is it because they not up for adoption?

So happens next? how long will she spend at our house? will she look in all our cupboards? will she want the spare room sorted out and ready before her next visit? atm it's our storage space for loads of things and will require a huge sort out as well as giving away things we would like to keep till we are approved or find space for the stuff.

How long does the process take? They seem to be rushing us into a meeting before we receive the info by post. called yesterday (Thursday) afternoon and want to meet on Monday or Tuesday.

Will we get much help with the FC because if he or she will be 7+ and I don't have much experience with older children. let me just say I wouldn't really mind if we got a newborn or a 16 year old. But my main childcare experience is with children is aged 6 or younger. I get along with children of all ages but I have no idea what time a 10 year old goes to bed and simply small things like that.

Thanks for reading I know most of these will be answered on Monday or Tuesday but just wanted to hear from FC sides.

[Gymbob]

Usually they like to keep some seniority in the house for the birth children, ie fc least a year younger than the youngest child in the house. That is certainly the case for us, and although we have done from about ages 6 to 14, they were all short term, and now we have a long term placement the fc is indeed 1 year younger that my DD.

That said, the ages of your children mean that if those guidelines were followed, the age of any child placed with you would be 1 year old or younger, and this would obviously restrict how many children are available and possibly leave you without placements. I wonder if that is why you would be considered for older fc's.

Really, the ball is in your court, you can specify an age group that will suit your family best, and you can say no to any placements you don't feel is right for your family. I have turned plenty down, as I believed at the time it would have too negative an effect on my DD.

As for rooting through your cupboards, no they wouldn't do that, and neither will they want your spare room sorting for next week. If the fostering assessments have just started, you may have up to 9 months before you would need your spare room looking something like!

The font of all knowledge should be along before too long (we all love NanaNina), and she will give you more info, and correct any crap that I've spouted

Good luck for next week, and do remember that you are not on trial!

[Fishwife1949]

No NO NO please i beg you dont take older children its not just keeping the pecking order its aout protecting your bc from abuse and bullying



A child of 2 is unlikey to be able to fend of a 10 year old were as the likey hood if you have a 10 year old bc being bullied or abused by a 2 year old foster child is almost nil


My la hs a blanket ban on allowing foster carers to goster children who are older than there own children