Fostering and hubbies

[shaz298]

Hi,

we are thinking about fostering and I was really surprised that hubby said yes!

I have a background of working in residential child-care, then as a children's rights worker and I know that I could really make a difference to a little person's life.

I think that my son ( age5) would also gain a lot from the experience. We plan on applying for the 0-4 age group and I know the placements can be more scarce but I also have a lot of medical experience and therefore may be more likely to have a child placed with us who has some medical needs or a disability which would be ok.

However.........here is the but. My huuby basically parents the way i want him to....he takes his lead from me and is not very insightfull iykwim.he is a great Dad to my son though.

I know that we'll both have to go through the process even though I will be the main carer. I'm just worried that when wee do the course he'll say something daft and that'll be the end of that.

How have you all dealt with that kind of thing? or am I being unfair to hubby??

Thanks

Sharon x

[sumum]

You are prob being a bit unfair to your hubby, everyone has to start somewhere and the courses and processes are there to help you both.

He will probably suprise you.(mine did )

Good Luck.

[p99gmb]

Hi Shaz,

we've just been approved and the only thing I think my hubby struggled with is the fact that he can't be too 'hands on' (no pun intended) - all down to safe caring... for example - he couldn't bath the children if I wasn't in the house etc..

Having brought up his own kids on his own, and we look after the grandkids, I think initially he took offence to not being able to do things like this - for his protection - and also that he felt sorry for the foster kids that if I'm not around - they won't for example be able to have his read them a bedtime story whilst they're in bed.

Sad - but we were told that 1 in 6 carers have allegations made against them, and sadly, men are more likely to abuse...

Still, having talked it through with the SW, we got approved this week!! yey.

Go for it!!!

[SquidgyBrain]

Sharon,

I could have written you post almost exactly!

If he is a great dad you are already half way there :) Remember that there is no right or wrong answers to things, and that all foster carers are different, which is a good job as all children are too

he will do great :)

[Minnerva]

My hubby is the most unpc individual on the planet and I lived in fear throughout the whole assessment process and do you know what?......
he was fab!!.:o

It taught me to trust my instincts more-I knew that this was the right thing for us to do and it was.He has been a great dad to my kids and is a great foster dad to other people's kids.

We are fostering a develpomentally delayed lo at the moment and she has really bonded with dh as she is close to her dad.Although we try hard to stick to the safer caring policy at times it is just not possible with a child with developmental delay-she is so focused on sensory stimulation it would be detrimental to her needs if we rigidly dismissed her needs.

Having said that-p99gmb you are absolutely right.It is important that safer caring is ahered to in my absence and there are many,many rules of safer caring that are non-negotiable(not something we have had to approach as yet) but in order for us to provide the neccessary care for this lo we have had to bend the occasional rule just a little..........

And I am not suggesting that anyone else does for a minute-just relaying my experience......