[bashing head on keyboard emoticon]

[MerlinsBeard]

Pleeeeeeease help!!

my ds1 (almost 3) is being a horror at the moment. I know that all toddlers go thru the "i will not eat" phase but he is driving me insane! He will not eat an evening meal, picks at his lunch but will eat a huge breakfast.

HIs food today has been 1 weetabix, petit filous (breakfast), 1 slice of bread for jam sandwich and 1 bread stick (offered more but didn't touch), half a tiny apple and 1 spoonful of peas at tea time.

we have tried everuything and i eman everything.

we have tried swapping meals round so he has his eve meal in the afternoon, offered weetabix for every meal, even mcdonalds doesn't get eaten!!

i don't want to yell at him and have so far only had to yell 2/3 times (out of 2 weeks). we have tried the naughty space, tried getting him involved in making it which is difficult in itswelf as my lounge is upstairs so i have to leave ds2 (8 months)unattended as kitchen not safe for him. i have even tried giving him all his food for the day at breakfast.

i really am stuck now, going to clinic to speak to hv but she isn't particularly helpful. anyone any clues? or something to help me keep my patience lol!!

[merrySOAPBOXingday]

As hard as it is in practice, I think you need to take a backwards step and just chill out

I think 3 is a classic age where they try to shift control from you to them and so far it seems to be working for him.

Put the food down - anything you know he kind of likes, set a timer for 20 mins and then remove it. Anything not finished in the 20 mins goes straight in the bin. He gets nothing at all to eat until the next meal, if he hasn't finished (or done a good job of trying to eat his main meal).

In our house puddings are given the same importance as main meals (although only really fruit or yoghurt) as I don't want sweet things to seem good and savory bad IYSWIM. So these are always given as part of the main meals.

Cut right down on any squash or fruit juices he is having, these might be blunting his appetite.

Sit with them at the table and chat generally in a lighthearted way, but do not mention food at all!

Then its down to good old mother nature, who has dictated that 3 year olds will rarely voluntarily starve themselves to death

Good luck

[moondog]

I'm with soapbox.
If mine don't eat,that's it.
Was at my mother's tonight. She made a lovely stew that dd didn't want (which was fine by me.)
She asked for bread when we got home,so was told that dinner was over and it was time for bed.

End of story.

I would never get into punishment for not eating food btw.I think that is just asking for some really weird 'issues' in the future.

[Tommy]

really feel for you - as will many other people here. I feel like I've tried everything and he still eats barely enough to keep a bird alive but he is very tall, seems to be quite healthy generally and alert and interested in lots of things so hang in there mumofmonsters

[MerlinsBeard]

should've said that we already just leave it in front of him for a certain amount of time.

only recently started the punishing thing (i hate that word!), purely because i am pre menstrual i think! in all seriousness i do try not to punish him, i tyhink that him not having any tea is punishment enough.

and hes not ill either.

thank you for support tho

[PantomimEDAMe]

I was one of those dreaded fussy eaters as a child. Don't think naughty step or other punishments will help tbh. My mother used to get to the end of her tether with me and my sister (I can see her point now!) and, for example, used to make me sit at the table until I'd finished. I could sit there for hours but nothing was going to make me eat the kidney bit of steak and kidney pudding. Luckily we had cats who were more than willing to help me out...

She once lost her rag with my sister who was even worse than me. About the only nutritious thing sister would eat at that stage was an omelette. Then one day she announced: 'I've gone off omelettes'. Mother blew her top and announced: 'Well, that's all you are getting.' Served up the same omelette for breakfast, lunch and dinner TWO DAYS running. It was mouldy by the end. PMSL!

The point is, you aren't going to win a battle over food with a child who doesn't want to eat. All you can do is serve up the food and take it away if it doesn't get eaten. 99.5 per cent of children will not starve to death when there is food available. And if yours does happen to be that very rare 0.5 per cent you will find out plenty of in time to do something about it, honest.

(Btw, my mother is a very, very good cook. It really wasn't her fault we were so fussy. We were just awkward.)

[merrySOAPBOXingday]

mofm - I think it is important to do both though - take food away and no fuss.

Only one person is going to win if you turn this into a battle, and it will not be you

Horses and water spring to mind

[butterflymum]

Have you tried getting him involved in preparing some of the meals (especially the more easy lunches. You know the sort of thing, getting him to make some simple choices (eg ham or chicken, with or without cheese etc.), bringing the item/s out of the fridge/cupboard, helping wash fruit, helping butter bread etc., choosing bowl/plate to put it on. Might seem a bit pedantic but may help.