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Would you be offended if a 'superior' asked you to make coffee?

37 replies

globex · 08/12/2009 15:20

A senior editor asked me to go and buy 6 coffees and bring them to a meeting she was having - I wasn't invited. I'm a production editor, if that means anything to anyone, so not an intern or on work experience.

I was fairly upset because I couldn't imagine her asking anyone else - am I being overly sensitive?

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Spillage21 · 08/12/2009 15:25

Depends how she asked you?

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Leeka · 08/12/2009 15:42

My manager asked me to do this once, which got my back up until I rationalised it that actually if I were going in to a meeting and he were the only one left in the office, I would ask him to make coffee for my clients too.

I reckon it depends if she asked in a 'you're my subordinate and I can get you to do any of my menial tasks' kind of way, or in a 'bugger, need to be able to offer drinks to these clients and would be rude to leave them hanging around in my office while I run to Starbucks' way.

Does she also ask you to collect her dry cleaning and book her car in for a service?

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howdidthishappenthen · 08/12/2009 15:47

I'm with Leeka - if there are clients involved then any handy looking person within grabbing reach can be asked (politely) to sort the coffees. No clients, get your own coffee.

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Kathyis12feethighandbites · 08/12/2009 15:51

Just depends on the context and how they behave/treat you normally.
My head of department was running round making coffee for builders and removal men recently so if he asked me to make some I would know it wasn't that he thought the job was beneath him & would do it happily.

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Speckledeggy · 08/12/2009 18:42

No, on the odd occasion I'd do it. You're a team player and above all that.

If she were asking you to do it for every meeting then that would be out of order and you should say something.

Mind you, I'm a PA and my boss makes his own coffee!

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Mincepiedermama · 08/12/2009 18:44

I think it's about the way she asked. If it was friendly and 'I-know-this-is-a-bit-cheeky-but' then it would be OK.

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expatinscotland · 08/12/2009 18:45

In that context, no.

She didn't ask you to make it, she asked you to go buy it, too.

Great excuse to get out of the office for a wee while.

I agree about being a team player.

You feel inferior for her asking, but don't hesitate to point out that interns and work experience should be doing tasks like this because, well, you're a production editor.



There's no 'i' in 'team'.

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norfolkBRONZEturkey · 08/12/2009 18:49

I assume she gave you the money for them?

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madwomanintheattic · 08/12/2009 18:49

nah. all part of life's rich pattern. quite often i used to make the coffee as i had already delegated all the other tasks out lol. least i could do. but i quite often asked someone else to do it before a meeting when i was involved with visiting attendees etc. didn't matter who, really, usually the first person that walked past the office door

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Lapsedrunner · 08/12/2009 18:50

No, of course not. I assume you work as a team etc so what's the issue?

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globex · 09/12/2009 12:21

The issue is that she wouldn't have asked anyone else in the office.
I work for a fairly elitist medical journal and I think I'm starting to get a chip on my shoulder. Yes, she did know she was wrong to be asking but to be honest if I wasn't there then she would have gone without rather than ask someone else.

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Iklboo · 09/12/2009 12:26

Expat I know a very rude & naughty comeback to 'There's no I in Team'
Not directed at you - it's something my dad once said before walking out of a job (a fair few moons ago I hasten to add)

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globex · 09/12/2009 12:30

And she did give me the money for the coffee.
But she reminded me not to give her the change in front of the people she was meeting.
Like I was an idiot.

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AMumInScotland · 09/12/2009 12:48

It sounds more like you have a general problem with how this person treats you, rather than it being about the coffee in particular. If you feel she generally treats you less well than other colleagues, then you need to approach her about it, or someone else with authority to deal with it. You shouldn't be made to feel "junior" to other staff at the same sort of level, unless you are quite new and/or have a less onerous workload to deal with.

The coffee making or fetching isn't in itself an insult, but if it's part of a pattern of how she treats you then that's different.

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BalloonSlayer · 09/12/2009 12:57

Do you report to her?

If not, what would happen if, next time, you look at her as if she is barking and say "I'm afraid not. I am very busy right at the moment. But perhaps if you ask someone else they'd be able to run your errand for you."

If you do report to her, the only thing I would suggest is a word with her to say that you are worried you are being singled out by being the only one she asks to do this sort of thing.

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globex · 09/12/2009 13:06

I think its time to look for a new job. Consciously or not, she has shown a lack of respect for me and/or my position.

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domesticslattern · 09/12/2009 13:18

Presumably it's not just about the coffee incident then. As most people wouldn't think anything of it. I get coffees all the time, as a "all hands to the pump" kind of thing, and don't see it as demeaning at all. (and no, I am not the most junior in the office). As AMuminScotland says, it sounds like you have a more general problem with her and your new job?

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TokenFemaleSanta · 09/12/2009 13:19

I think you are being way over-sensitive about this globex

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domesticslattern · 09/12/2009 13:19

should have been-

and so you want to get a new job?

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mollythetortoise · 09/12/2009 13:20

wouldn't bother me at all. I would go get the coffees

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expatinscotland · 09/12/2009 13:22

Get another job.

Sounds like the issue is way bigger than coffee.

Best of luck.

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cariboo · 09/12/2009 13:25

I might be a bit put out, tbh. It almost suggests that you haven't got anything more important to do. But I would get the coffee as if it were nothing out of the ordinary. It's not worth losing you job over, provided you want to keep it!

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globex · 09/12/2009 13:36

Its an issue with the job and not with the editor. In fact, depressingly, I really admire her.

We have a catering team, a restaurant and a cafe in the building. She forgot to order coffee to be brought up so she asked me. She wouldn't have asked anyone else in the department - its just not something that we do. If someone wants coffee they order it or they get it themselves.

I need some career counselling I think!

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BalloonSlayer · 09/12/2009 14:37

Are you the only other woman, globex?

Could it possibly be a case of: "Oh nooooo, I fucked up and forgot to get the coffee! Globex is nice and won't think I am a useless twat female for forgetting, I'll ask her, invoke the sisterhood and all that."

[Desperately looking for good side emoticon]

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Speckledeggy · 09/12/2009 18:20

Can you move within the company?

My biggest challenges at work have always been relationships. Whatever you do, there are just some people you do not click with. I know it when I have complete sense of humour failure and have an overwhelming desire to tell them to get stuffed!

Look for another job. Life is too short!

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