What to do when childcare arrrangements go wrong?

[snotonmyshoulder]

I'm sure this must be an age old topic but does anyone have any advice about what to do when your usual childcare arrangements are unavailable, or your child is sick? Eg, my childminders child is home sick and it wasn't appropriate for my DS to go, so I had to stay home.

My employer said this wasn't ideal. I work part time and it's not easy for my childminder to give us extra days in lieu because of other children booked in - I am being requested to do extra time to make up - help!

BTW I have no family or friends able to help out, my DP is surrently working extra at the weekends and I really don't want to change care as Ds is well settled and childminder is fab - am I being unreasonable to expect my work to accept I am doing everything I can? I am exhausted come the evenings and there is a limited amount of what I can do then. I don't like to put DS with another childminder on such occassions as it's really unsettled him when I've tried this before.

[snotonmyshoulder]

I should add that if DS is sick, I alwasy stay home, I've only tried an alternative minder when I've had notice of a problem with dates.

[Bellie]

You are entitled for time off (unpaid usually dependent on employer) for situations like this.

It is called time off for dependants and is emergency time for when childcare (or elderly) arrangements breakdown for whatever reason.

ACAS website will have more details.

[Bellie]

You are entitled for time off (unpaid usually dependent on employer) for situations like this.

It is called time off for dependants and is emergency time for when childcare (or elderly) arrangements breakdown for whatever reason.

ACAS website will have more details.

[Bellie]

oops sorry to post twice

[ruddynorah]

why is it always you that stays at home if he's sick? what about your dh? does he ever stay home with him? that would help keep your employer off your back.

[jelliebelly]

Agree with ruddynorah - if ds is sick dh and I agree who would be best placed to stay with him - it doens't happen v.often but we have both done our share. I know you said about not changing childcare arrangements but this is a classic reason why some people prefer to use nurseries. How often does it happen - I think your employer has to allow time off for emergencies but if it is a regular thing then I can see why they might be a bit funny about it.

[snotonmyshoulder]

Thanks that's so helpful to hear. I don't think my employer will really be awful about it, but we have several deadlines coming up and my lack of input may well have an impact. It's a horrid situation.

[snotonmyshoulder]

Oops x posted. Ruddynorah and jellybelly, DP is self employed so it's a simple case of if he doesn't work, we'd lose more money than if I stay home.

[flowerybeanbag]

Here you go snotonmyshoulder, stuff about dependents' leave - something like childcare not turning up would count, so you are entitled to time off, unpaid. It's on an emergency basis only, so if your normal childcare was unavailable for say, a week or something, you would be expected to take a day or perhaps two off while you sort out alternative arrangements. There is no limit to how often you can take emergency dependents' leave.

So your employer can't make you make up the time elsewhere but you may prefer to do that rather than lose a day's pay each time. And if you need anything longer you would need to ask to take annual leave or similar.

Hope that helps, many employers are more generous but you can't expect anything more than that.

[blueshoes]

snot, has your ds just started at the childminders?

I found with my dd that once she started nursery, she was falling sick ever so often, a few days here and there, for almost a year.

But then once her immune system software was updated with all the bugs, she almost never fell ill and is now (touchwood) virtually indestructible. Can't even get her to catch chickenpox.

So just wanted to say there is an end in sight ...

BTW, with dd, I had my mother living with me (no help to you) and for ds, I am using my company's family & domestic leave (5 days a year) and annual leave, if it comes to that. Dh has to step in when he can - his job is less flexible.

[snotonmyshoulder]

Thank you blueshoes, flowerybeanbag and all, it's really helpful to know where I stand and it's nice to be reminded there's light at the end of the tunnel, thanks bs.

I've been back at work for about 5-6 months, and DS has had every cold etc going, and then there's obviously us all catching it as well! It's not been an evident problem so far but the trouble is I have a new manager who is quite a heroic full time working & single mum and commits all and sundry in commitment and dedication to the job.

I am a relucant worker in comparison as given the choice, I'd drop work like a hotcake to be a SAHM. My heart is at home.
I am not being pressured but I am aware of this personal difference between us and it plays on my mind.

Jellybelly it's interesting you say my situation is a classic reason why many people use nurseries. I would much prefer DS to stay where he is, he's really happy - do you know if an employer can request that you change your childcare arrangements to adapt to your job, eg to use a nursery, to avoid these situations?

[BetsyBoop]

One other suggestion - does your employer have the facilities to enable home working? Not suggesting you work all day at home if your DS is ill, but logging on for half an hour while he takes a nap or in the evening when he is in bed can make all the difference in the view of the employer as it gives you chance to deal with anything urgent.

[snotonmyshoulder]

Thanks for the suggestion, but I'm afaid most of my work needs to take place in the office, there are bits and pieces I can take home and often do. It's also that I know the current stage DS is at I just can't do much else during the day, and naps are getting more and more ellusive!

[thebecster]

Your employer has no right to comment on your childcare arrangements, in answer to your question above. However if you're often off as 'time off for dependants' you might get a comment. In which case you just have to ride the storm. Snide comments are integral to the working mother experience. You have to have a thick skin, which is hard when you wish you weren't at work in the first place... My work asked me to make up time too and I said 'Oh, I thought that time coded as 'time off for dependants' didn't have to be made up? Have I got that wrong? There are so many new regulations around workign parents these days, it's hard to keep track. Should I check with HR just to make sure?' They didn't ask again.

[ruddynorah]

thebecster. some of us working mums do like to meet our employer at least half way, if anything at least to just make sure our colleagues aren't given our workload. of course an employer can comment on childcare, they need to make sure their employees are doing all they can to be in work as much as possible to meet their contract. of course you can be ASKED to make up the time as in 'can you make up the time' not 'you must make up the time', lots of us prefer to do that.

[Quattrocento]

It's not my experience that snide comments are the lot of the working mother. A lot depends on the attitude of the employer. More depends on the attitude of the employee.

Y'know what I think? I think that if you don't want to work, you shouldn't. Beg, borrow whatever, but have some time at home until you want to work.

[thebecster]

Oh... Maybe the amount of comments I get are unusual and others don't get them, that's quite possible. And maybe my anger at my current employer has clouded my judgement a bit. Apologies if so, that would make my advice a bit off kilter for people who aren't in same situation.

[Phraedd]

your local nanny agency may be able to provide you with an emergency care? I think that tinies do this depending on where you are.

If you're near me (Herts), i may be able to help you

www.mummyknowsbest.co.uk