Taking time off for antenatal appointments

[Wildswimming]

Hi, I'm 6 weeks pregnant and have just had letters through from midwife and hospital giving me the dates of my appointments with maternity support worker (in 2 weeks' time) and 11-13 week scan (in 6 weeks' time). Very exciting! - it's beginning to make it all feel a bit more real. However I'm worried about what to tell work - I hardly ever take any sick leave and would always normally arrange doctor's appointments right at the beginning or end of the day so it doesn't disrupt other commitments at all. However the two appts I've got are 11am on a tuesday morning when I have a routine meeting at work. I would change the appt times but the letters say that's only possible 'in exceptional circumstances'. If I ask for this time off, my boss (who I get on with really well, she's a good friend) is immediately going to know that something is up. To make things more complicated, she has ongoing fertility issues and it feels wrong to let her guess rather than telling her straight. On the other hand obviously 6 weeks is very early and anything could happen between now and then! (We haven't told anyone else yet, not even closest family or friends.) So two questions really - 1. Should I tell her before my first appt, or before my second appt? Or just ask for the time off and let her draw her own conclusions, until we have results of first scan? 2. When I tell her, any suggestions for how to do it sensitively, given her own situation? DH is being hugely unhelpful and I don't think he quite understands why I'm worrying about this!! Any advice? (If it's not immediately obvious from the way in which I'm getting my knickers in a twist about this, it's my first pregnancy). God, sorry this message is so long.

[ivanapoo]

I would try to move the appointments first, I always found them to be fairly accommodating if they had the space.

I understand why you're being sensitive in telling your boss - i had the same issue (boss TTC without success) and I ended up waiting until after 13 week scan before telling them.

By then however everyone had, unbeknown to me, guessed!

I'd still wait though as I would want to know the scan was ok before telling people.

[ivanapoo]

Re: being sensitive to your boss, just treat her normally as you would anyone else. Trying to be sensitive can come off as patronising. Just try not to talk about it aalll the time once she knows.

[Lonecatwithkitten]

You could approach your boss say you are telling her in confidence that you are pregnant because it is so early sorts the appointments and gives her time to 'get her head around it before it becomes public knowledge'.

[ArethaSnellHutt]

Tell her and show her the details of your appointments. By law you are allowed paid time off for antenatal appointments and you do not need to make the time up. As a manager your boss should be able to deal with the needs of her employees regardless of her personal situation.

[givemeaclue]

What is a maternity support worker?

[Wildswimming]

The maternity support person gives advice on screening test options, etc I think. Thanks very much for all the advice. It does slightly baffle me because I know I'm entitled to time off for antenatal appointments but don't quite see how that works when they fall so early that you wouldn't want to tell people until they had happened!! Reckon I'm going to try and move first appointment to more convenient time if poss, and then tell her shortly before my scan (at the moment, still can't quite believe I'm actually pregnant, but hopefully by 12 weeks i'll feel like less of a fantasist!)...ivanapoo, how did your boss take it? And how did you tell her - just v matter of fact?