Hello, I'm hoping for some advice.
Our situation is that my PIL live in Scotland, close to my DHs sister and her family. We live in France. My PIL are currently visiting us and we are both shocked at how much my MIL has aged. She's 78, and until recently was a very 'with-it' person, who made all the decisions, and kept their lives running smoothly. She had a spell of illness, and it has really knocked her for six. She had always prided herself on being 'only as old as you feel' and clearly expected to go storming on into her 80's in good health as her own mother did. This hasn't happened, and she seems to have retreated from life - instead of playing with her GC she sits well back, watching from the sidelines, hesitating in doorways, looking like a rabbit caught in the headlights most of the time.
She is now hesitant, can't focus on what is being said to her, finding it very hard to retain info when things are explained to her. My FIL is not the most rational of people: he has always joked that he's already lost his marbles so he's not worried about getting older. MIL has always held the pursestings (FIL doesn't even own a wallet) and organised all financial and administrative aspects of their lives.
They are currently trying to sell their large house and buy / move into somewhere smaller and more adapted for their older age. MIL is finding it a real challenge despite having sold and bought several times in the past. But I think that with some help from her daughter / my SIL they will manage it.
I'm wondering about the longer term though. If she becomes unable to make decisions for them both, and there is no way my FIL will step up to do it, should the family be looking at setting up POA for either my SIL / DH or both of them? As a family they really don't like talking about these things. My parents - who are a good deal younger - have already started investigating POA for my sister and I well before they think it will ever be needed. I'm worried that my DHs parents will leave it too late.
Any advice? As I said they are in Scotland and we are in France, so I don't know how that would work if DH was to be named?
Thanks all
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Elderly parents
When is POA appropriate?
12 replies
justwondering72 · 24/07/2016 13:14
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