My granny is in her 90s, she is very disabled and in a care home but she's hanging on in there (albeit by a string) physically but we think she has some slight dementia and it seems to be worsening.
For the last couple of years she has been prone to confusion here and there - often because she dreams things. We'll be having a normal chat and then she'll say 'all the girls dressed up today and did a french opera in the garden' but she seems happy so we say 'oh how lovely' and move on.
Sometimes she is distressed and will say things like 'the decorators weren't really decorators and they stole all the tvs, I saw them putting them in their van'. We will say 'I think you might have dreamed that' and sometimes she says 'oh yes silly me' and sometimes she says 'NO I did NOT dream it'. But we know that it isn't true, whatever it is.
A couple of months ago she started to say that she thought my uncle (60 years old and happily married) is having an affair with his aunt, my granny's SIL, who is 85 (just giving ages so you can see they are from different generations). It is so far off from being true it's unreal. They live 100 miles away from each other but he does sometimes stay at her house when he is over. We just shrugged it off and said 'NO WAY' and made a joke and she was ok.
Yesterday she got really upset about it. She insists it's true. She now says that my uncle TOLD her, and that he is signing all of his money over to the aunt and that he is waiting until his wife is 'out of the way' before marrying the aunt (not in a murderous sense, just waiting til she dies or something - it doesn't make sense). She was very upset but very resolute. My mum was trying to talk her out of it and gave her a big hug and she just said crossly 'ok, fine I won't mention it again'. I wasn't there for the start of the conversation but my mum said she could see her 'switch' almost into a different mindset - would this be like the dementia kicking in?
A colleague has mentioned that in her experience it is the new, fake, 'memories' that are the hardest to dispel in people with dementia.
I don't know anything about dementia at all. We were wondering whether to get my uncle to speak to her to say that all this is not true but we don't know if that will upset and confuse her more.
It's so hard to see her upset like that. She's such a lovely, patient, woman who has given us nothing but love through her life. And food :)
Anyway if you've got this far, well done. It has helped to write it all down even if no one replies!
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Elderly parents
Dementia and fake new "memories"?
11 replies
rumbelina · 19/09/2013 14:04
OP posts:
BeerTricksPotter ·
19/09/2013 14:16
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