Help! Are you good at writing letters?

[Earlybird]

I need help. DD had her 4th birthday party today (it went brilliantly, by the way ), and I am completely drained. But, before I collapse in bed I must write a few brief, but tricky letters.

We received offers for reception places at 4 private schools, and I must write letters to all four - 3 will be along the lines of "thank you very much for your offer, but we won't be taking it up as we've decided to go somewhere else" (though obviously put much more tactfully). Do I need to give them a reason why we won't be taking up the offer?

The final letter will be "thank you very much for your offer, and we are thrilled to accept....and by the way, here's the big deposit cheque you require".....also put more tactfully.

Can any of you help a poor braindead mum who needs to sound good on paper? Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[janeybops]

I am writing to confirm my daughter's place (name of dd), in the Reception class, at your school for September, 2005. Please find enclosed a cheque for £3,000,000 as our deposit/full payment for the Autumn Term.

How about that????

[janeybops]

or


Thank you for the offer of a place in the Reception class of 2005/06 for my daughter, name. Unfortunately we will not be able to take this place at the present time. Thank you for your help with this matter.

[pineneedle]

How are you getting on?! What you have said so far sounds really good - I shouldn't think you need to give a reason if you don't want to - they must realise that people "shop around" for school places. You could mention something that did impress you about the "reject" schools if you wanted to soften it a bit...

[Blu]

I would say soimething like;
Thank you very much for the offer of a place for . I feel very sorry to be writing to say that we will not actually be taking this offer up.
Thank you for your attention to our applicartion,, and we wish you all the best with your very happy / succesful / thatched / expensive / (delete as approapriate!) school.

and

We are very pleased indeed that you have offered * a place, and we are delighted to accept.

please find enclosed our completed registration form and exorbitant cheque (edit as appropriate).
We are sure will be very happy in school and we look forward to doing everythoing we can to make her time with you happy and successful.

[Earlybird]

janeybops - I suppose you're right that it might be best to be brief and straightforward. I suppose I wondered if I needed to do anything to "soften the blow" in the letters where I'll be declining ("your school has the most wonderful reputation and results, however I have made the difficult decision that dd is better suited to another school....blah, blah, blah). Too high on the bullsh** meter, or the kind of diplomatic jargon that's appropriate? Also didn't know if it was best to give some sort of reason why I've decided against the schools.

LOL, you're just about right on the size of the cheque! Do you think I should simply send them the deed to my flat instead?