Bullying - what would you do?

[jojo38]

Hi.
I have my youngest home from school today with a badly swollen foot. He tells me this boy kicked him. They are in yr6.

This boy has been targetting my son since he joined the school last year. He has made my sons life a misery there.
This boy has a few problems, and my own son has probs socialising so there is bound to be a few sparks somewhere. My own son has a lot of probs coping with dyspraxia. His esteem hits rock bottom at times and this spate of incidences has not helped. The school are aware of what is going on and the probs associated with each child. I have been up to the school before to make a complaint about the other lad. I don't wrap him up in cotton wool as he has to learn that there are "nasty things" out there in the world.
Yesterday was the last straw. I wrote a letter to the school explaining why my son wasn't there. His foot is so swollen he can't walk on it. I have also made it a formal complaint stating that if the child was 10 or over, or in secondary school, this sort of action would be classed as assault.

I try not to encourage hitting back but I am at the end of my tether. My eldest son says to his brother to hit him back, hard! Inside, I agree but don't condone such actions really.

I have difficulties getting my son to bed at night and in the mornings it is hell! He comes up with any old "schoolitis" problem that he can think of. I can't keep ignoring this, can I?

Anyway, I have hand delivered the letter of complaint and now waiting for a phone call from the headmistress. Enough is enough.

Thanks for the rant. Now I need some advice on how to handle the headmistress when invited to go see her... pleeeeze. I'm a coward at heart and would like some ideas of how to be firm but fair... or whatever you think.

Thanks again for letting me rant... (sigh) I feel a bit better now.

[mrsforgetful]

I just wanted to you as i am often in the same situation....my son is yr6 with Asperger's ADHD and Dyspraxia......and i hate any confrontation with Teachers etc....

i would have done the same....Write a letter. Maybe take him to the doctors...to have a 'formal' acknowledgement of the injury?

Also....as he'll be feeling so low at the moment give him a from all of us too!!!!

P.s ....post something about this on the Special Needs threads....there are loads of us on there who have issues like this. (CHOCOL8 has a ADHD/AS son who is too being bullied....and she has been 'in disscusions' with the school too)

[coppertop]

Poor little mite.

I think I would write down as many of these incidents as I could remember, with approximate dates too. Do you have a copy of the school's anti-bullying policy? If not, would you be able to get one from the school?

I would ask for an official meeting to discuss the bullying, preferably with the SENCO there too. If nothing happens then explain that you will have to take your complaint further and that you will be writing to the governors.

I know what you mean about the fighting back issue. A couple of weeks ago 2 boys in the playground at my ds1's school tried to take something off him. Luckily the playground supervisor was watching but before she could get there ds1 (who has absolutely no sense of danger) had already fought them off. I know I should've been pleased that he defended himself so well but I just wish that he hadn't had to IYSWIM.

A big hug to you and your ds. Let us know what happens.

[jojo38]

Ahhh thanks very much. You are very kind and supportive.
He's happy enough at the moment but he's been home all day.
I was expecting a call from the school today. Nothing. Not even a peep. I went up to the school to deliver the letter by hand and saw the headmistress there... no time to talk, just as well considering the mood I was in about it all. I would have torn her off a strip or two...and that is what I am trying to not encourage. Anyway, as I said, I thought I would have heard something... in the letter I put that I would be happy to discuss this matter with her, this side of half term and preferably not at parents evening next week... oh well, another push aside.

I am not sure how to copy this to the SN board... can you talk me thro it... sort of. I am on and off line a bit until about 6 then off line till tomorrow, or later... I'm off for some ME ME ME ME time!!

Hugs and thanks for your suggestions and hugs too.