Going to the loo....

[tissy]

I wonder if any primary teachers or mothers of similar aged children can help me get my head round this...

My dd is just 5 and has been in P1 (reception) since August.

She has had a few (less than 5) "accidents" in that time- not getting to the loo quickly enough, and she always has a spare pair of pants in a plastic bag in her school bag, so that she can change if necessary.

Last week she had another accident. She told me that she had been playing out at lunchtime and was laughing so much, that she wet her pants. She went to get her spare pair and went to the loo, but had trouble getting her tights back on. I got a note in her bag that evening from her teacher, who says that she was "hysterical" and could I contact the school to talk to her about it.

I asked dd why she didn't ask for help, and she says that when she has asked in the past she is told to go by herself.

Ok, so since then she has been to school in dress and socks or trousers on a cold day.

On Friday dd told me she'd had another accident, this time during a lesson, but she didn't change her pants, because they're not allowed to go to the toilet during lessons, only at break times. She held on till she got to the childminders after school.

Can this be right? Is it normal to not allow small children to go to the loo when they need to? Some of the kids in that class are still 4, and it seems a bit harsh! I appreciate that lessons can be disruted by comings and goings, but dd cannot be expected to remember that she MUST go to the toilet at break, whether she wants to or not.

I have tried to phone the school today, but the teacher is "out" this afternoon, so will phone again tomorrow morning, but wondered if I should be doing something else to make dd more "bladder-aware" (Is there anything I can do?)

[mrsflowerpot]

I think you need to talk to the teacher so you know exactly what the situation is. Can you try and instil the habit in dd of going to the loo routinely at the start of break, whether she thinks she needs to or not? My ds will wait and wait and wait until he is bursting before he will bother to go to the loo - it doesn't occur to him to go any earlier, maybe she is the same?

DS is in year 1 and they are allowed to go out of class if they need to - was the same in reception. They have a 'toilet tag' that they take with them so other staff know what they are up to and only one child can go at a time.

[hana]

given that your dd has had a small number of accidents , it isn't unreasonable that the teacher would allow your dd to go to the toilet as and when she needs to.
as a teacher I can see the point of the break time loo visits, but there are always going to be exceptions. your poor dd! hope you can get it sorted

[StrawberrySnowflakes]

i helped out in dd's school a while back and year one teacher used to ask all children to go on their break, but most just wanted to get out and play so they had lots needing to go when back in lesson.teacher was very cross with them but tbh i thought over the top as even at 5-6yrs thyere just children and dont 'think' ahead to go and not interupt class..very sad i would be p*ssed off with this if it was my dd

[beckybrastraps]

I asked the teacher to tell my ds to go to the loo at the start of break.

[confusedandignorant]

perhaps it was a good idea of having outside toilets at school when I was little (despite them freezing up every winter) as kids would use them at playtime and very rarely got accidents in class