ds not settling into school as hoped - need advice

[emily05]

I was waiting outside ds classroom today. He is 4 and has just started. Whilst I was stood there I saw a boy smack ds over the head with his lunch box. Ds stood up and smacked him back. The little boy laughed and taunted ds with another little boy.

Anyway I had a word with ds teacher. I asked her if he was making friedns, or finding it hard - also told her what I had seen.

She then says "well, actuall ds has been very spiteful the last couple of days and not nice to the other children"

Now ds is very overtired and just come off of sterioids and antibiotics - he is mega grumpy so I can believe it - but it looked recipricle - but I dont want to make excuses for him.

How on earth do I deal with this??? At nursery he was sweet, lovely had loads of friends - no problems. He is usually so passive - so this is all new to me. He can be Boisterous - so think he is getting carried away.

How can I get it through to him - and what should I tell him to do if another child hits him first (tell the teacher?)

I feel so disappointed because I thought it was going so smoothly. Is this sort of thing normal? It is all new and I am worried he wont make friends.

please advice, thanks

[amynnixmum]

First of all its very normal so don't panic. Lots of children struggle with the transition to school and i'm speaking as a parent of a ds who had terrible problems. I think a good way of helping him make friends is to have someone back to play. Did the teacher have any ideas to help ds settle in?

[emily05]

amynnixmum - thanks for yuor reply. It is all new to me! The teacher didnt suggest anything. I have a meeting with her in a couple of weeks(to discuss his settling in ect. . .) so I think that we will bring it up then. That is a good idea about the playdate.

[mysonsmummy]

I HAVE DS 4 WHO HAS JUST STaRTED RECEPTION AND I ALWAYS TELL HIM IF SOMEONE HITS HIM DONT HIT BACK. BUT HE MUST ALWAYS TELL THE TEACHER. (oops sorry). its so difficult isnt it not knowing what goes on in the classroom when they are away from us - that why its great to have a good teacher that will being up problems early on so they can be dealt with. if a teacher had said the to me about ds i would sit him down and talk to him about how he is with other children and if hes not nice to them they wont want to play with him that sort of thing.