How is it possible for a simple enquiry about a water bottle to be turned into a confrontation?

[Caligula]

What is the matter with some people? I have to rant on here, because it's too petty and mindless to start making mad phonecalls about and bother my friends with - but I know Mumsnet will indulge me! Honestly, all I asked, is whether somebody could please find out what had happened to my DS's water bottle, which hadn't come home on Friday. I'd asked someone about it at the time and she'd said she'd pass the message on, needless to say, no-one has got back to me and DS has no water bottle so is not drinking enough during the day. Well you would have thought I was demanding that they install an Evian spa, the reaction I got. "I wasn't here on Friday... he's supposed to check himself... we can't find everything..." in the end I said with an annoying smile guaranteed to make the woman want to slap me: "I'm not having an argument about it, I'm just enquiring, OK?"

OK I know she was having a bad day. But so was I. And the automatic default position of defensiveness, rather than helpfulness, just really irritated me this morning and has left me feeling peeved. And I'm irritated that I allowed the bloody woman to wind me up - I'm usually good at leading people like that onto positive helpful territory, but I just couldn't be bothered this morning - I just wanted to say "FGS, just tell me if he has a water bottle or not, so that I can buy him a new one if he hasn't, and stop trying to pick a fight with me, you lunatic!" Luckily, I restrained myself!

rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant

[homemama]

Lol Caligula, can't offer anything helpful as she could have been me sfter the tenth parent has asked me for a lost jumper but just wanted to indulge your rant as per MN rules
Hope you find his water bottle soon.

[hocuspocusdiplodocus]

I know, DH hates it when DS1 leaves anything at school (which happens all the time) because obviously the teachers find it a total PITA to be asked about these possessions that have gone AWOL.

Best approach is usually to ask politely if you can go in and look for it yourself, but DH finds this nigh on impossible now because he has DS3 in the buggy and DS1's Year 2 classroom is up several flights of stairs!

[Caligula]

What really irritates me is that I did send him back for it on Friday and it wasn't there - so I mentioned it at the time so that something could be done. And now I'm a pita for chasing it up - all I want to know is should I buy a new one or not?

Oh why am I spending valuable brain space on a water bottle instead of getting on with my work?!

[iota]

Caligula - just buy hima new one -- ds1 lost his in teh first term of reception - -I bought a new one (they cost £1 from school) and about a year later the first one turned up again - -who knows where it had been

[binkie]

indulge indulge indulge

(Ds has got a tiny notebook that lives in the front pocket of his backpack - his "memory book" - and it is page after page of Please remember to look for your trainers Please try to find your black rain jacket Please do not forget to go to tae kwon do. The very sympathetic teachers know about the book and will ask him to look in it.)

And PS we gave up on the nice flask and got a six pack of small sports bottle mineral waters instead - weirdly he isn't forgetting that, so we're still on the first one.

[Lonelywitch]

Know how you feel Caligula. My ds has lost one of his school jumpers and I am going in every day to look for it and occasionally mention to someone it is still lost. I know from when I was a teacher it is impossible for the teacher to find every lost item, but it annoys me when no-one seems to care about it at all except for me. So I just go in quietly every day to keep reminding them!

[fimac1]

Caligula

"I'm not having an argument about it, I'm just enquiring, OK?"

IS pretty confrontational, sorry!

I would have gone and had a good old root around myself as it is usually more successful than ds and dd searches (don't involve the school staff as they are just tooooo busy)

[LadyCodofCodford]

our shcool once picked up 60 jumpers off the field after lunchtime

they get arsed off that parents ay " ahh well the one wiht paint on the bottom of it is johnys"!

label it nad be prepared to lose it
how old is he anyway

[Caligula]

fimac, I know, but I was confrontational only after I had been met with a barrage of defensiveness to a perfectly straightforward question. I just got tired of trying to be constructive and positive and grown up in the face of obstructiveness. I couldn't just go and look for it myself - the school doesn't invite that. (Although maybe they wouldn't mind, it just hasn't occured to me that they'd welcome that.)

[Caligula]

Oh Cod I know, I expect him to lose at least one bottle a term, I just don't expect to have to have a row about it!

[Lonelywitch]

Cod, my son's jumper is labelled and still it goes missing. He hung it on a peg and when he went to get it, it had gone. This was last Thursday. I can't understand how parents don't notice their child has a jumper with someone else's name in it. Don't they ever pick up their child's clothes, put them out in the morning, or, at the very least, wash it at the weekend? He is 9 BTW. He should be able to look after his own stuff, but I think in this case, it was someone else's inability to select the right jumper that is at fault, not my son.

[moondog]

Oh,another humourless cow with a face like a cat's arse!!!
I know the type Caligula,I really really do.
Next time you see her,point,clap a hand over your mouth and giggle hysterically. It's give her something to think about.