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Divorce/separation

File for divorce or not

4 replies

Tingatingatale · 03/01/2017 15:23

I have been separated from my husband for eight months. I left after being very unhappy for a long time. It was an EA marriage if that makes any difference and I met someone just before I left. It was something I already told him I was going to do.

Ex has taken it very badly. We have a very bad relationship. I have every empathy for him and he continues to either ignore me or be foul to me every time I see him at handover.

I have made an appointment this week to file for divorce. I am not doing it to be cruel or to hurt him anymore. I am doing it to move on. I don't want to be married to someone who despises me. I know it will hurt him though but how long do I wait? I can't wait the two years? I tried to leave for so long and am finally feeling like I can breathe that I feel I need to just start this and move on.

Am I being completely unreasonable please

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Ilovecaindingle · 03/01/2017 16:17

There comes a time when it's your sanity or his. Now is that time. Don't feel guilty. He is an ex. . For a reason. . You are entitled to some peace and freedom to move on.

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Tingatingatale · 03/01/2017 17:34

Thank you. I don't think he even liked me when we were married or never showed it anyway so don't know where this upset has come from. I can't bear dragging this out for two years

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Hermonie2016 · 04/01/2017 12:38

Have you established childcare split? Is this agreed between you two?

What about finances?

A divorce ends the marriage which is the emotional part but the practical side, childcare & finances usually takes the time.
If you had an affair can he petition for adultery? Would you suggest that? Otherwise you will need to petition for his unreasonable behaviour which might be conversial if he felt you were the unfaithful partner.

I would start talking to him about the finances and childcare, perhaps suggest mediation.When that is underway you can then discuss with him who files for divorce, him or you.

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Tingatingatale · 04/01/2017 15:29

Thank you.

I left because of his unreasonable behaviour. He spoke to me like crap. Usually in front of the children to the point where the children used to shout at him to stop. I tried to leave many times but couldn't. I didn't have the courage.

Finances and child access are sorted. He said he was going to divorce me months ago fir adultery and I wouldn't contest it but I honestly don't think he will.