Never thought I'd ever get through this divorce .......

(25 Posts)
Molly333 Sun 04-Sep-16 01:48:13

Ten years ago my husband returned from a family party hidiously drunk , he then proceeded to tell me he never loved me and was leaving me for another woman who cherished him , like i never did! We had a5 yr old and a 1 yr old. He then in his drunken stuper tried to get in our daughters bedroom ,I stopped him and he beat me so badly I ended up In hospital and could not see for two weeks! I felt like my life had entered the world of jeremy Kyle , I was a battered bruised wreck ! Fast forward ten years , I've had no family support ( dad abusive to mum and she enables it) , the kids dad has stolen all the kids money from their accounts and remarried a woman who's equally abusive, he no longer sees then as he has let them down so many times.

But and this is important , in me there was a flicker of strength and bloody anger wrapped around" how dare he do this to me and his children" , so I fought back every time( not physically) , had two years of councelling and grabbed any scrap of fight i had .

Today - I hv just passed a degree , got two job offers this week and my daughter and son are doing great . He's still married to his awful wife and apparently told exactly what to do every day ! Those who wait...eh

WatcherOfTheNight Sun 04-Sep-16 02:16:10

Good things come to those who wait Op for sure,congratulations on your degree & I hope you will be very happy in your new job! smile

Desmondo2016 Sun 04-Sep-16 09:31:47

Congratulations! You've done so well and have been so strong. Your ex sounds like a dick!

pinkhorse Sun 04-Sep-16 09:39:35

Well done! I just love stories like this!

donners312 Sun 04-Sep-16 12:20:44

Yes congratulations I love to hear stories like yours!!!

JaffaCakesMum Sun 04-Sep-16 13:08:22

It is so good to hear your story and well done on your degree and job offers. I am only at the start of this horrendous journey. Unfortunately the days I have with hope in them are few and far between. He is very verbally aggressive and abusive and I'm struggling to cope. I've only just told my DD (17) ,who he has just told that she is only half the person her sister is, that things will get better but it is difficult for me to believe that for myself. Your post helps me.

ImperialBlether Sun 04-Sep-16 13:13:44

Congratulations to you and your children for getting through this and having such successful lives. You've done amazingly well.

flowers for your degree!

Molly333 Sun 04-Sep-16 17:50:46

I should have added this , I had many many back and forth days and definately cried and cried , thought I wd never stop after all these I loved and thought would care for me did this!
Small steps is my advice and take away step by step all they use to control you ( mine used the children, money and all forms of abuse ) . Also go to bed hidiously early even if you just read or cry , my room became my sanctuary.
Lastly buy a treat for you on a Saturday ( even when poor I would get a magazine or nail varnish or chocolate ) also I only opened solicitors post on a Sunday , never any other day or it would pull me down all week x

CaptainM Sun 04-Sep-16 19:03:04

Wow, congratulations!

Jam29 Sun 04-Sep-16 21:53:26

Aw. Nice to see positive stories. Congratulations on getting your degree!

nickiminageatrois Mon 05-Sep-16 19:23:23

Amazing. Well done - you've got the life you deserve (and it's all down to you)!

conscientioussuicidee Mon 05-Sep-16 20:42:46

Love this post. So great to hear a full story.
You are about 9 years 3 months ahead of me. I look forward to feeling as you do in the future. smile

Namechanger2015 Mon 05-Sep-16 21:31:38

You sound amazing! I'm 8.5 years behind you and struggling. It's great to hear there is light at the end of the tunnel smile

Molly333 Mon 05-Sep-16 22:36:40

Thanks for your lovely comments . Please hang in there , fight them and get counselling to keep you strong ! You can do this . I thought my life couldn't get any lower but it did again and again . But give it time and u will pop back up and fight again . Remember bad days are days to learn from .i wish every single one of u the utter luck of the world xxxx

Disappointednomore Mon 05-Sep-16 22:55:15

Congratulations and thank you for your generosity in sharing this. Your post is inspiring.

Verso Tue 06-Sep-16 09:03:00

Yes - very inspiring. I am just starting off the divorce process and am very scared for the future. I know I'm doing the right thing but I'm very wobbly.

NattyGolfJerkin Tue 06-Sep-16 09:07:01

Congratulations on your wonderful new life, molly.

SleepFreeZone Tue 06-Sep-16 09:16:46

Congratulations xx

Dogcatred Tue 06-Sep-16 10:14:35

I support these comments too. Over 10 years ago I divorced. My teenage children even asked me to as their father was very difficult at home. No one outside would ever know or understand. Ten years on all is well, the children are fine and all has gone well.

Any radio4 The Archers fans might like to listen this week to the trial of the domestic abuser who is so like so many of these awful men who can seem perfectly wonderful to the outside world but at home isn't. Many of us will recognise I stories in parts of that story line.

Congratulations on your degree. One reason we have all managed okay is because of my working full time and my education. Education for women is so important.

Molly333 Tue 06-Sep-16 21:28:57

I agree I started education as I was hidiously lonely ( another blinking by product of my divorce). It's an amazing distraction and has benefits to you and yr children . In addition it out to bed My exes comments " you will amount to nothing" , " I will make ur life hard"

Molly333 Tue 06-Sep-16 21:54:15

Put not out

Dogcatred Wed 07-Sep-16 08:13:13

Good for you, although on being lonely I was never lonlier than when married. Never lonely now.

Namechanger2015 Wed 07-Sep-16 10:54:29

One reason we have all managed okay is because of my working full time and my education. Education for women is so important.

I am in a similar position and so glad I have an education and a good job behind me. I have 3 young DDs and this divorce has taught me to make them as financially robust as possible.

AnneLovesGilbert Wed 07-Sep-16 16:16:55

You have a lot to be proud of OP, for yourself and your children. Thank you for sharing your inspiring story, it will give strength to others who may be struggling to see the light in their own situations.

No one should have to go through what you did but you survived and so much more and your future is bright flowers

LisaB777 Sat 10-Sep-16 19:09:46

What an amazing positive story. Gives me hope.
Going through a messy divorce myself right now, from a controlling mentally abusive husband. I have two amazing boys and some fantastic friends. Work, my boys and friends keep me sane. But one message, email, or catching sight of him when he drops off the boys after having them sends me in to a tail spin. I've thought about counselling but am a bit scared by the idea. And the cost scares me. (legal stuff at the moment means I'm bleeding money I haven't got). Im 47 and feeling like all my stuffing has been knocked out of me.

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