Moving and divorce

[lilypoppet]

Hi, I need advice about child custody when moving and divorcing. I'm moving back down south after three years in Yorkshire. Husband and mil are from Yorkshire my children were born in London and we' re moving down south to be near my family. It's highly likely we could divorce as my husband isn't happy with me. I'm fine with that I just want my children and home. My biggest fear is he could force me to keep the children in Yorkshire. Could he do that? He is very controlling and tends to gang up on me with his mother.

[millymollymoomoo]

Yes he could apply for a prohibitive steps order to prevent you moving with the children. This may or may not be successful. You would need to demonstrate why this move is in the best interests of the children and have clear proposals on how you will ensure contact and access is maintained. You may also be required to do all the travelling and incur all costs as you are the one moving

[lilypoppet]

Ok thank you

[lilypoppet]

I think I'm going to have to stick with him until we are settled in West Sussex then
I'll have to walk on eggshells and try to ignore his abusive behaviour

[lilypoppet]

I've read that a prohibitive steps order is to stop a parent taking the children out if the country. My youngest hasn't even got a passport that's in date. I only want to take them down south with me

[millymollymoomoo]

If you are planning to move hours away he has the right to legally try to prevent you from taking the child, even if this is in the same country. Like I said whether it is successful of not will depend on motives, what relationship and role he has with his child, how you plan to facilitate his role as a father to maintain that role - eg you might have to travel to Yorkshire every weekend to take your child and may have to send your child there half of every holiday (as an example) and most importantly demonstrate that it is in the interests of the child not to prevent a move.

If he wants to stop you taking the child he has every right to try to do so.

Has he indicated that he would try to stop you?

How do you plan to maintain decent frequent access?

[lilypoppet]

He says he wouldn't take the children but I don't fancy having them shuffling back and forth on a train every weekend

[millymollymoomoo]

What's your proposal then? I think you need to be realistic here. You can't expect to move hundreds of miles away and then not expect them to have to do lots of travelling to see there father. Clearly I am assuming he actually wants to be actively involved in their lives. Why do you think it is in their interests to move? Have you actually spoken to him about your plans and how you both envisage you could make it work? Seems like that would be a good place to start

[Minime85]

I don't think he can force you but could take you to court and the judge will set contact and you will be expected to help/facilitate the contact in terms of travelling. Which in my opinion is best for kids as they should have access to both parents unless some kind of safeguarding issue.

[Phillipa12]

I am nearly divorced from my ex and we had the same problem, we live in yorkshire and i am moving back to wiltshire. Stbxh went to a solicitor to find out if he could stop me moving so far away and his solicitor basically has said no as i am moving back to my home town for family support. If i was just moving for the hell of it then yes he would of had a case. I will however have to help with travel arrangements so the children can see their father.

[lilypoppet]

Thank you. I too am moving back to be nearer family. Where we live now my mother in law lives an hour's drive away my sister in law lives at least an hour away and I have an alcoholic nearly destitute father in law in Hull. When we see them it's as a visit they don't have anything to do with the children's lives (school concerts etc) at all. My own family will be far more supportive. The children have only lived in Yorkshire for three years.