Unsure what to do next

(5 Posts)
Rosie86 Mon 30-May-16 07:46:12

Hi, me and my ex have a 4 year old son together, we separated on bad terms with a dv conviction against him, I have always allowed access, he see our son every weekend for overnight visits, fri-sat one week and Fri-sun the next. I have swapped when he needed and never stopped him taking our son away, but this never seems good enough, he has a new partner but still hates me for splitting up his family, we couldn't make it work for so many reasons but he can't see that. Recently our son had a hospital appointment on a Saturday which dad refused to take him to saying it's nothing to do with him as his time is for fun things and not official stuff. This caused a massive fight and we all got heated, his partner joined in (she is always at his side) with them both accusing me of being a bad parent. This has made me feel awful as they have said they are taking me to court, but they won't tell me why, I need to wait and see they said. All this resulted in my son crying saying daddy is taking him away from me. I have no idea what direction to go in now. Any advice would be appreciated, thanks

BlueUggs Mon 30-May-16 08:03:39

Your ex is clearly a huge twit. Being a parent is NOT just about having fun. I wouldn't worry about it. Let them take you to court. What are they going to say? His mother asked me to take our son to a hospital appointment? They would get laughed out of court.

fryingtoday Sat 04-Jun-16 20:13:51

What do you want here? Best outcome for you?

Rosie86 Sat 04-Jun-16 20:34:00

I want my son to have a relationship with his Dad but I don't want all the abuse I get. I am made out to be the bad person yet I always do want is asked. Dad was meant to have son last night but text yesterday morning to tell me to bring him today instead, I agreed and go no thanks, tried to tell dad about son's cough and what medicine he has had but got the door shut. I get we will never be friends but just thought after this long it would be civil now. I just feel that I need to do something as this is effecting our son now, he has started to soil himself and this has been put down as behavioural by the health professionals probably linked to all this.

HeddaGarbled Sun 05-Jun-16 00:08:31

Your ex is abusive.

Accept that this will never be civil.

You need to decide on a set arrangement and then stick to it. No swapping, no trying to be accommodating, no agreeing to last minute changes via text message.

Every other weekend is more normal than every weekend. Usually with one night/evening in the week as well.

Taking you to court is an empty threat and is part of his abuse. They are bullying you. But the law is on your side. You don't have to listen to all his crap.

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