Probably f*cked, what do I do?

[Discopanda]

Hi all, I'm reaching the end of my tether with the father of my children (3 years and 5 months old) and I think our relationship is coming to an end. I'm a SAHM, mortgage is in his name as are all the bills, etc., we've basically become two strangers sharing a house. No intimacy, I can't trust him after finding out he was using online dating sites whilst I was pregnant, he constantly goes out drinking and using drugs, he's got a lot of debt which really concerns me and I can't rely on him. How screwed am I if I finally end the relationship and ask for him to move out whilst I wait to be housed by the council?

[MidnightVelvetthe3rd]

Hope you're OK

I think you need some legal advice, make an appt with a solicitor or with the CAB as the position with the house could not be as easy as it seems.

Regarding the debt, then if its all in his name you don't have to worry. If some of it is in your name then your options vary depending on how much the total debt is. Its not the case where you are liable for half each, if its in both your names then you are both liable for the full amount.

If all the bills are in his name then you don't have to worry, although if you stay in the house & he leaves then he might stop paying the bills (he will have his own rent & bills to deal with) but you can put the water, gas & electric in your name if need be.

I totally support your decisions for leaving, it must be bloody awful living there! But get advice first & be aware of what he can/cannot do before either of you leaves the house. It can be the case that men say all sorts of things in the heat of anger when a relationship breaks up, including that he will 'get custody' of the children & the council won't rehouse you etc & it can be frightening & may be designed to make you afraid to leave him. Forewarner is forearmed, do your homework & it will be fine :)