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Divorce/separation

Estranged husband still staying at weekends

6 replies

njs6974 · 22/10/2014 18:25

My husband and I have been separated for a year now. I stayed in the marital home with our 2 daughters and he rents a flat about 30 miles away. He comes back to stay at weekends (much to my dislike) so he can be with our daughters. He states that he has every right to do this as he is a joint owner of the property and when I've asked him to stay somewhere else at weekends he just keeps saying that he 'has every right to do it'. He's even threatened to move back in! As I live there with the children do I not have the right to deny him access to the property? Separation is such a messy business!

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Noregrets78 · 22/10/2014 19:19

I had a similar problem. There is an argument that he has rights similar to a landlord - ie a right of access but only with suitable notice. Doesn't equate to staying weekends! But I also found that legally there was little I could do, even though I paid all the bills. In the end I had to threaten to move out (I had arranged somewhere) and leave the house empty with bills unpaid. I never needed to, as he returned his keys.

If he's violent you may be able to get an occupation order to exclude him? Otherwise crack on with sorting divorce / finances? May be worth posting in legal.

Good luck!

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avocadogreen · 22/10/2014 19:22

No he absolutely shouldn't do this! Have you seen a solicitor?

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njs6974 · 22/10/2014 19:48

Thanks! No I haven't seen a solicitor yet; finances are a little tight as I pay the mortgage and all the bills! Im afraid that if I can exclude him from the house he's going to start being awkward about seeing the girls ie, he's going to want to see them more than the one day that he's supposed to have them on.

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balia · 22/10/2014 19:51

And that would be a bad thing?

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Ledkr · 22/10/2014 19:56

Tell him he needs to start paying towards the bills if he's staying. What a cheek.
My ex did this for a while which I tolerated as it was nice for kids to be in their own home. I sometimes stayed at a mates or had a night out. I stopped it after a while as it was far too intrusive

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njs6974 · 22/10/2014 20:09

balia, it would be a bad thing yes. The agreement is to have them one day a week and to also have them stay a few times at his place. He can be a very stubborn, awkward and malicious person - he could make my life difficult eg, if I plan to take them away for a weekend he could refuse to give up 'his' day with them and I hate confrontation!