Separation and moving house

[sleepingischeating]

Dh and I are separating. We currently live overseas and the plan is for me to move back to the uk with the dcs in a couple of months, with dh following in 1-2 years (he can't move back immediately because of work issues). He will however see dcs most weekends. Dcs don't know that we have split up yet - it is very recent - and I am really worried about the double whammy of separation plus removing them from a country which has been their home for nearly 5 years. Would it be better to stagger the process as far as possible, so separate, dh moves out then dcs and I move to the uk once they are more used to dh and I living apart? Financially and emotionally it makes little sense for me to stay here long term but I want to try to do what's best for dcs (3 and 5). They do have friends/ties to the uk so it's not unfamiliar and I plan for them to start school/nursery fairly soon after the move back so they have structure etc. I would love to hear from anyone who's been through this (it's grim even if for the best long term. Thanks.

[Pinkandwhite]

Hi sleeping,

I'm really sorry to hear about your separation. It must be tough to make decisions at the moment. I haven't been through this so I can't be much help but wanted to reply so that it bumps your message up. Given that I haven't been through this, my opinion probably won't be much use to you. I know you are thinking of your children's well being first and foremost but I would also ask about your well being. Where would you rather be now? Overseas or back in England? Where will you get most help/support?

[sleepingischeating]

Thank you pinkandwhite, much appreciated. Ultimately would rather be "home" but have some lovely friends here so can certainly hang on for a few months and so far, fingers crossed, h and I are being distantly kind to each other...

[Pinkandwhite]

Hi sleeping, if it was me I would also be happier at "home". I wonder whether it might just be easier to make that move sooner rather than later. Your children will have the same reactions and emotions whenever they find out about your separation. The chances are that whatever is best for you emotionally will ultimately be best for them. How are you feeling now? You seem balanced and calm in your messages.